The Consequences of Change
by bookworm563
Summary: Words can slice through your soul, make you change every ounce who you used to be. Especially when those hurtful words, comes from your own family. Mikey is changing. But change comes with a price. A price no one saw coming. A price that would be the start of something horrible. A price that would leave him with nothing. And a price he didn't know he couldn't afford.
1. Chapter 1: The mission

**Ok, lets get something straight, pay no attention to the story 'Anything to make you safe and happy.' That was before I knew how to work anything in Fanfiction. I want to thank Athese and Pimino for being like my Fanfiction 101. I'm not even sure if this is going to work, so yeah I'm holding my breath. This is going to be really embarrassing if it doesn't work, but if it does "Yay! " Oh, and one more thing. If this works this will actually be my first fic, so go easy on me. So yeah, I'm going to get to the actual story and rewrite it for the sixth time! Hope you like it! ****J**

**And apparently I'm suppose to say this: I do not own TMNT, ( No kidding! If I owned them, I wouldn't be writing this and there would be more brotherly fluff!)**

**Leo's Pov**

'This way.' Leo beckoned with his hand as he and his brothers jumped from rooftop to rooftop. They were trying to find the perfect spot to spy on the Kraang, and find some information that might stop the Kraang invasion that was going to come. Hopefully, they would be able to stop it before the world got into panic and everything got messed up.

After a few more leaps, they finally found the perfect rooftop with an excellent look of the Kraang. "Stop." Leo commanded, and they went as close to the edge of the rooftop as they could. They had no need to hide in the shadows, it was pitch black in New York at this time, and no one was out.

"The device that is to take over the world is almost done." One Kraang said. "Yes, ha, ha, mortals well die." Another Kraang replied. "Ha, ha, ha, ha." All the other Kraang said in unison.

Leo slapped his head. They were getting no where with this. _Stupid Kraang with their horrible_ _sense of humor._ Leo thought to himself.

All of a sudden, Leo started to feel a sense of unase. Beside the Kraang laughing robotically, it was unusually quiet. _To quiet. _Leo thought.

"Um, guys, have you seen Mikey?" Leo asked, finally understanding why it was so quiet.

"Um, no Leo, actually I haven't." Donnie answered.

"Where could that little brat gone?" Raph growled, but even under his tough impression you could tell he was starting to get worried.

Leo was staring to get on edge too, but as leader he had to act like everything was going to be fine and that Mikey was just hiding somewhere.

"I'm sure he's find guys, he might just be playing a trick on us and is hiding in the shadows." Leo responded.

"Really, Leo? On top off the rooftop? Where the heck is he suppose to hide!" Raph exclaimed. Leave it to Raph to point out the obvious.

All of a sudden, there was the sound of clanging metal coming from where the Kraang were once laughing in unison. Leo hadn't realized it stopped until now.

All of his brothers, including him, turned their attention back to the Kraang, and saw the one and only, Michelangelo, fighting the Kraang.

_Why! Why! Why! _Leo frantically thought. This is not how the plan was…you know…planned! They were suppose to spy on the Kraang, _then_ fight them. Not that he, Raph, or Donnie was actually listening at the moment, but as far as Leo knew the Kraang were just laughing until Mikey got into the battle. _Ugh! Why does he always mess these things up!_ Leo thought.

After watching Mikey fight the Kraang, he could tell he energy was starting to wear out, if that was even possible.

"Come on guys, there is nothing we can do now, lets just go help Mikey." Leo said in a calm voice.

"Yeah, and once we help him we could strangle him." Raph murmured.

So they jumped into battle, weapons out, ready to fight with along with their little brother, the cause of why this mission was failed.

**Donnie's Pov**

When Donne first saw Mikey fighting the Kraang it was a mix of emotions.

Confusion for why he didn't listen, when he knew how important this mission was. Anger for him messing up the plan, as usual. Disappointment because Donnie believed he would actually listen this time, but it turned out he got his hopes up for nothing. Donnie realized, none of these emotions were good. But, that was how Mikey make him feel most of the times. It was nothing he wasn't use to.

But, despite all of these emotions, the love and care for his brother seemed to fight back for thinking this. Telling his mind that maybe something had happened to Mikey, causing him to go to accidently battle_. But how does someone, or in their cases, some turtle, accidently jump into a battle and start fighting? _Donnie thought, logic winning over the feeling for standing up for his little brother.

Though once he jumped into the fight, he was focused on fighting the Kraang.

He brought out his Bo, rapidly spinning it around, and knocking down Kraang ten at a time. But just when he thought he cleared the area, thirty more Kraang came rushing in.

_Where are all these Kranng coming from? _Donnie wondered with confusion, curiosity, and worry jumbled together in his thoughts.

He punched the Kraang in the face with a powerful fist. They went down like flies. Even though that seemed like Raph's thing, it was his last resort. And it seemed to be working.

He continued punching until all the Kraang were down, and luckily no more came. He looked around and saw his brothers seemed to handle it, but to make himself useful, he went to help Leo, but first grabbed his Bo, of course. Using his fist weren't really his style.

**Raph's Pov**

The anger he felt towards Mikey was like one he never felt before! Mikey had messed up so many times today, more than usual. And that was saying a lot.

_First when we woke up, we made breakfast and he broke the toaster. Then, he pulled a prank on me, and made my blood red mask was cotton-candy pink. I looked likea ballerina, all I needed was a tutu! It took me three hours to wash it off! Next, when I went to go watch television, Mikey broke the remote! And if that wasn't enough, when we were training, he messed up so much, that Mater Splinter made __**all**__ of us do an extra hour of katanas! (I think I spelled that right…Tell me if I didn't!) And to top it off, he decoded to ruin this mission!_

Of course, Raph liked a fight as much as the next mutant turtle, but he forgot about what he liked and wanted to do, and stuck to the plan! And yet, Mikey couldn't do that but he could!

No matter how much Raph wanted to let his rage out on Mikey, he knew it would be better if he just took his anger on the Kraang.

He snatched a brain out of the Kraang's robotic body, through it on the ground, and stomped on it with so much force he thought it was dead.

As Raph started to walk away, the Kraang brain suddenly jumped up and attached itself to Raph's head.

_What the? _Was the only thing Raph was able to think before the _disgusting _brain decided to to hitch itself on his head. The only thing he could smell was Kraang guts, and it was by far the worst thing he had ever smelled, even smellier than the sewers.

"Ah!" His muffled voice came from under the blush pink, squishy brain.

He could feel the precious oxygen seeping away, and his throat felt like closing, as if it was saying _"If I have to breathe in Kraang air instead of fresh air, then I rather not breathe at all!" _Raph felt like talking back to his mind and saying "_You breathe in sewer air!" _Man, this lack of oxygen was making him go crazy.

After struggling for a few moments, Raph yanked the brain off his head, thankful for some fresh air, and threw the thing it the ground, and stabbed with with his Sai, knowing he learned his lesson of making sure it was dead before you walked away.

As he looked up, he saw all the Kraang had been destroyed while he was trying to get that brain off his head. Now that he looked back on it, he really hoped nobody had saw that happen. He would never be able to live that down.

He walked up to his brothers and said "Hey guys. He should head home" They all nodded, and started to go back the way they came. Looking at their faces, he could tell no one had noticed that embarrassing moment of the fight. Of course they hadn't, they had been busy with their own battle. And all that was on their minds right now, were how they failed their mission, all thanks to one particular little brother. (Cough, Mikey)

Mikey sure had some explaining to do when they got home.

**Mikey's Pov**

Gosh, he felt like dying with the dirty stares his brothers were giving. He wasn't clueless. He knew he had messed up the plan, along with many other things today. But messing up the plan was different, he would never do that on purpose. There was a perfectly good explanation.

_(Just in case you don't know, what's coming up is a flashback)_

_He was jumping from rooftop to rooftop with his brothers, when suddenly he tripped. He fell from the rooftop, and landed on the floor. Luckily, the roof wasn't so high, so except for a few scrapes he was fine. When he got back up, he was surrounded by a bunch of Kraang, with their laser guns pointing at him. He had no choice but to fight._

_(End flashback)_

It was either his life or information. He didn't know about his brothers, but his life was way more way more important. Although with the way he has been messing up lately, they probably would have picked the information over his life. It wasn't liked they cared much anyways.

Mikey scolded himself.

_Don't think like that Mikey. Your brothers love you very much, even if they call you stupid, an idiot, dumb, worthless… And all the other stuff they have said._

Mikey sighed. He would explain what would happen to his brothers in the lair, they would understand.

Wouldn't they?

**So yeah! That was my first chapter of my first ever fic! It wasn't that good, but you know what, I'm proud of it. I'm writing this on a school night, after taking test that may depend what I get on the biggest test of the year. So yeah. Please review! It would make my day and make me update sooner! (Like most of you even care.) Flames are welcome, just don't make them so harsh, but don't sugar-coat it either! I would like to know the truth. See ya!**


	2. Chapter 2: Realization

**Wow, I'm just, speechless. I thought that no one would even read this! The amount of reviews/followers/favorites I got just made me feel rich! It may not seem like a lot of reviews to most people, but I was lacking confidence in my story and you guys gave me that confidence I didn't know I had! So thank you to everyone! **

**Mikey's Pov**

Mikey was _so_ dreading this lecture Leo was going to give him, for like the fifth time today. But he kept telling himself, _When they realized I had to fight for my life, they will forgive me. We are brothers, right? We care for each other no matter what, and it's always family first. _

At least that's what Mikey thought. So he figured that's the way his brother would feel too. So why was it so hard to convince himself?

As the brothers sat on the sofa, Raph was the first one to speak, or should he say, shout. "What were you thinking Mikey? We were all fine until you jumped into the fight! You made us fail our mission!"

_Are you serious? Just drop the insults on me right when we get home. Don't even give me five seconds to prepare myself for this lecture. Real nice. _Mikey thought with annoyance.

"You really got to be paying attention Mikey. You have been messing up a lot." Leo said in a stern voice.

_Ok, can you at least let me explain! _He thought frantically.

"Yeah, Mikey, there are some problems I can't fix. Like this one. I've fixed so many mistakes of yours, but I can't fix this one. What if this happens again one day, but you end up getting us killed? I know you don't want to hear it Mikey, buts it's true."

Those words struck Mikey hard. Was he really that bad? It hurt the most, especially since it was coming from his closest brother. The brother that would usually stand up for him.

"Just let me explain!" Mikey interrupted, knowing they weren't going to just give him an invitation to justify what has happened.

"We were jumping to rooftop to rooftop, when I miscalculated a jump. I fell, but I'm not hurt, thank you for asking." Mikey sneered. "Once I landed, the Kraang were surrounding me with laser guns in their hands. I had to fight!" Man was he glad to get that out of his system. Maybe now he would get an apology.

"So not only have you managed to fail our mission, but you couldn't even tell how far to jump!" Leo shouted, exasperated.

Boy, that was _not_ what he was expecting. Especially from his oldest brother. What was going on today? Were they just in an extremely bad mood, or were they just speaking the truth?

"Mikey, thank gosh your not hurt!" Donnie said.

_Awww, thanks D! Nice to know you care!_ Mikey thought. At least one of his brothers didn't hate him!

"Cause I'm running out of medical supplies, and you have been the one paying the most visits."

_Wait, what? No, "You're my little brother and I wouldn't want to see you get hurt." And how the hell did they get to this? Now were talking about missions in the past too! Not fair! You can't just change the subject like that!_

"Dudes, that was in the past. Can you just lecture me on today?" Mikey asked. This was getting really annoying.

"Mikey, I know you don't like, but you not only have to think about this time, but all of all the times." Donnie tried to explain. "You need to realize what harm you have been doing.

Mikey was starting to think it may be easier if they just pored acid into his eyes. This felt like a stab to the heart.

"Ok, dudes, I'm really sorry. I'll try harder not to mess up anymore." Mikey said. Maybe an apology could get him out of this.

"You know what Mikey! You say you're going to try harder every time, but you never do! It's time you start acting like a ninja, not trying but actually doing!" Raph exclaimed.

"Wait, what do you mean start acting like a ninja?" Mikey asked in a small voice, sounding hurt.

Oblivious to the hurt Raph was causing to Mikey's heart, he continued. "It means that you have been failing us so many times! It's like you can never do anything right! If it was up to me, you wouldn't come with us to missions anymore!"

Tears pricked in the corner or Mikey's eyes. _Is this what they all that? Do they think I am a burden on missions, or that I'm not useful? Sure Raph, didn't say those words exactly. But he was able to see through what Raph said, and saw what he really wanted to say. _But Mikey was determined not to cry. Not to show weakness in front of his brothers.

"Oh come on, Raph. You know you didn't mean that. Were brothers and were suppose to fight together." Mikey said with his puppy eyes.

"Well maybe sometimes I wish you weren't my brother! So I wouldn't have to put up with you! To get some peace and quiet for just one friggin day! To get some help in a battle other than you just shouting insults! Is that too much to ask? For a brother like that once and a while!" Raph furiously exclaimed.

That was too much for Mikey to bear. The tears were threatening to fall out in moment. So he got up, and wordlessly walked to his room. Once he locked the door and climbed unto bed, was the only time he let the tears flow silently down his cheeks.

**Leo's Pov**

Wow, that was something. All Leo could do was listen as Raph talked so fiercely to Mikey. Sure Raph had said some rude stuff before, but his was something new. Something they had never said towards one another, until now. And the sad part was, Leo almost agreed with him.

Not of wanting another brother of course, but for some silence in the lair. And for Mikey to concentrate more. Just_ one_ day of Mikey making himself useful, instead of goofing off.

And those thoughts made Leo feel guiltier than ever. Not only was he a leader, he was a big brother. And big brothers shouldn't think of his youngest brother, or any brother in that matter, in such a way. It was as if his emotions were caught between a battle, and he wasn't sure which one was going to win.

**Donnie's Pov**

Those words that came from Raph's mouth was enough to leave him speechless as he walked into his lab.

Ah, his lab. His thinking place. For good or for bad.

_How could Raph say that? I mean face it, we all thought that once in a while, but he knows how sensitive Mikey could be. The way Raph said it, it sounded as if Raph wanted to get rid of Mikey completely. At least in Mikey's ears it would._

Don desperately wanted to go talk to Mikey, but he felt as if now wasn't the right time. Mikey needed to reflect on the things that had happened today. Maybe it would be the day, the day Mikey comes to realization and starts to shape up his act.

Maybe Raph's cruel words were just enough to knock some sense into him…

**Raph's Pov**

Raph didn't know where those words came from. He didn't want another brother, he just wanted Mikey to shape up. Hopefully, Mikey didn't take it the wrong way.

And besides the part about wanting a different brother, _he would have to find a way to apologize about that later,_ what he said was one hundred percent true.

If lectures weren't going to make Mikey start paying attention, then maybe the truth would.

Something in the back of his brain was nagging him though. Was it, his conscience? It was as if a tiny voice was speaking to him from the back of his brain. Saying, _Go apologize to him now. You have said something terrible._

Raph did the best to push the voice out of his mind. He was sure he did the right thing this time. If what he said didn't work, Mikey would be back to his happy go-lucky self tomorrow anyways. What would have possibly gone wrong from what he said?

**Mikey's Pov**

_It was pitch black. Silence surrounded him, the way dark ominous clouds surrounded the sky on a stormy day. Mist was all that he could see. Then, one by one he saw his brothers. Lying on the floor, a puddle of blood surrounding them._

_Mikey rushed to Leo's side. "Leo, dude wake up!" Mikey screamed. Leo didn't budge. Mikey was starting to freak out. What was happening?_

_He tried Donnie next. "Donnie come on wake up! Leo and Raph are in trouble, come on, I'm not a doctor! I need you to wake up and fix them!" Donnie's chest didn't move, proving that he wasn't breathing._

_Finally, he tried Raph. "Raph, wake up!" He slapped Raph's face. "I stole your comic books! And painted your room pink!" Mikey exclaimed, trying to say anything that might make Raph wake up. It didn't work._

_By this point tears were streaming down Mikey's face. "What happened!" He screamed. What did they do to deserve this! Who killed them!_

_Suddenly, a figure emerged out of the fog. All silver except for his piercing eyes. Spikes on his shoulders of his armor. The Shredder._

_"Why, why Michelangelo. It seems as if you have found your brothers." Oruko Saki sneered. _

_"Who did this Shredder! If you did this you will have no mercy." Mikey shouted._

_"Michelangelo, don't you see? You have no one to blame, but yourself." Shredder taunted, and then disappeared._

Mikey woke up in a cold sweat. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. _It was just a nightmare._ Mikey told himself.

But what of this nightmare had some sort of meaning? What if this were to really happen one day, and it was his fault. Thinking this just made him even more terrified. Mikey considered going to his brothers, but quickly turned the thought away. They didn't want to see him. They didn't even want him as a brother.

How could Mikey not have seen it earlier. Every insult was a way of telling him he wasn't wanted. Every time he was kicked out of the lab or his brother's room, was because they hated him. Despised him. They didn't love him. They never had. And he continued to ignore the signs that were given to him.

He had to change, for the sake of his brothers. Maybe then will they love him, accept him. Maybe they wouldn't want another brother. Maybe this time, he could actually succeed in making them feel happy.

Because that was what he was suppose to do. The only thing he was good at. Or at least, _thought_ he was good at. Starting tomorrow, there would be a new Mikey. A Mikey his brothers would like. And maybe if Mikey kept on telling himself they would love him now, he could eventually convince himself.

That didn't make him hurt any less though. In fact, it only made him feel worst.

Every prank that he played, every joke he told, was all for nothing. His attempts to make his brothers smile was a waste.

No matter what he did now, Mikey's heart, will always remain shattered.

**So what do you think? Was it a good chapter? Please tell me. I did this at midnight, but I just feel more better writing at night. So please tell me. It sounded a bit ooc to me, but does it to you guys? I had a bit trouble in characters I did not really like, but I tried my best. And I know no one asked, but my inspiration to this story was a song I heard on youtube called " If you knew" By Joel Faviere. Tell me if it reminds you of Mikey if you get to hear it.**

**See you all next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3: Starting

**WOW! It's just…I'm just…wow! Never thought people would like chapter 2 so much! Thank you to everyone who reviewed/followed/favorite! You guys are the light when I am feeling down! And I'm on winter break now, so I'll try to update a little sooner than I do now. Enjoy!**

**And for those who did not see it on chapter 1: I do not own TMNT, but that doesn't stop me from dreaming!**

**Raph's Pov**

'Crash!' _Ugh, what the hell is that? _Raphael thought groggily as he sat up from his bed. He looked over at the time, 6:15a.m. _Gosh, just go back to sleep Raph, it was nothing. _He told himself. 'Bang!' _Are you kidding me! Raph thought with extreme annoyance. _

With this noise, he knew we wasn't get some shut eye anytime soon. So he decided to figure out the source of this noise so he could make it shut up. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. _It's Leo training again! Of course, it's fearless leader! Ugh, why Leo! Why can't you just sleep in for once instead of training early! I better get Donnie, it's going to take at least two turtles to make him go back to bed._

Rubbing the sleep out if his eyes, he warily got up and tip-toed to Donnie's room. Not even bothering to knock, he went into his room.

Walking toward his bed, Raph said in a not so quiet matter, "Hey, Donnie wake up."

Being a light sleeper, Donnie woke up, facing the clock. Just happening to see the clock, he saw it read _6:17._

"Raph, its 6:17, what do you want? I just went to bed a few minutes ago from working on an experiment."

"Well sorry to interrupt your beauty sleep you highness, but I want to get Leo to shut up and go back to bed from training, and him being Leo, he isn't going to listen to me only." Raph said sarcastically.

"That's impossible Raph. When I was going to bed I passed by Leo's door, which was cracked open. I saw it with my own eyes, he was fast asleep."

_What? If it's not Leo, then who the heck could it be. Not Donnie, Leo or me. And defiantly not Mikey. Wait, what if it's an intruder? Ugh. I'm not one to complain about beating butts, but at six in the morning! Give me a break!_

What if it's an intruder? Raph asked to Donnie, announcing his thoughts.

"Maybe, we should go check." Donnie said trying to act calm, but you could sense the urgency in his voice.

"Alright, let's go wake up fearless leader, then we could go." Raph said, and rushed to Leo's room, with Donnie right behind him.

**Leo's Pov**

He was having an amazing dream. He was Captain Ryan, protecting the galaxy from the world's greatest evil.

"Halt villain! He shouted to Dr. Mindstrong. "You are no match for Captain Ryan, defeater of all evil!"

opened his mouth to say something all evil like, but instead he said "Leo wake up!" It sort of sounded like…Raph? _What the?_ Was all Leo was able to think before he got sucked out of his precious dream.

"What do you want?" Leo groaned. "The one day I don't wake up to go training, and you wake me up.

"Sorry Leo. But we think there is an intruder in the lair." Donnie said quickly, before Raph was able to say some nasty things towards Leo.

Just hearing that there might be an intruder in the lair was enough to get Leo up and moving.

"Come on then!" He said, jumping out of bed.

"Wait guys. Shouldn't we wake up Mikey?" Donnie asked.

"Nah, I don't think he is in the mood to see us anymore than we are in the mood to see him." Leo answered. "And lets leave it at that." Leo said quickly, interrupting from Raph adding some unwanted words to what he said.

Grabbing his katana from his shelf, Leo and his two other brothers quickly yet quietly sneaked up to the dojo, where the noise was the loudest.

'Stop.' Leo motioned as he reached the dojo's door. Carefully opening the door, not wanting to alert the enemy, he peeked inside. But what he saw wasn't the Kraang, foot ninjas, or any enemy for that matter.

Who they saw was, Mikey.

**Mikey's Pov**

Getting up today was _so _hard. It was like trying to meditate on a village with a volcano erupting, while juggling blow torches with one hand and baking homemade brownies with the other. Yeah, it was _that_ hard. Ok, so maybe he was exaggerating, but that didn't change the fact that it was difficult.

He woke up at 5:00am! That was even crazier than Master Splinter crazy! He didn't even get much sleep to begin with, it was nightmare after nightmare. The only thing making Mikey actually give up his personality and favorite hobbies was his brothers. _It would all be worth it once they love you._ Mikey thought while waking up.

So now, he was in the middle of perfecting his katas. Mikey was in the zone, pretending to hit invisible bad guys. He had been doing this for oven an hour, and was getting pretty exhausted.

But, he kept on going on, thinking about his brothers. They were the ones making him go on and not pass out from complete exhaustion.

It was only after a few moments that he noticed that the door to the dojo was open, and his brothers were staring at him, they mouths so wide that a train could mistake it as a tunnel.

_Excuse, excuse. I need an excuse._ Mikey thought frantically. _Start with small talk Mikey. We'll see where it goes from there._

"Um, hey guys. Why are you up so early?" Mikey asked nervously. Bad move.

"The true question is, Mikey. Why are _you_ up so early?" Leo asked skeptically.

_Are you kidding me Leo! I expected the question to come up, but not so soon. It's pretty hard to come up with a believable excuse in a few seconds!_ _Especially after you woke up at five in the morning and have been training ever since!_ Mikey thought with annoyance.

"Couldn't sleep." Mikey answered bluntly.

"Yeah, but that doesn't explain why your training instead of reading your comics or playing video games." Raph sneered.

"Yeah, something is wrong." Donnie agreed.

"Gosh guys! You're always complaining of me not training! The one time I do train, you guys are confused and are bombarding me with questions! Make up your mind!" Mikey shouted.

_Oops, that came out a little harsher than I expect it to. _

"Um, ok Mikey. We're just going to go to the kitchen now, to, you know, eat breakfast. Leo said nervously.

"We are?" Donnie asked. Leo glared daggers at him. "I mean, we are!" Donnie said nervously. "Come on Raph."

"Whatever." Raph answered. And his three brothers headed toward the kitchen.

Mikey thought they sounded suspicious, but he couldn't worry about that now. He had training to do.

**Donnie's Pov**

Once they were in the kitchen and closed the door, Leo said "You guys, what's up with Mikey?"

"What do you mean?" Raph asked.

"Are you really that stupid Raph? He was training for who knows how long! How can you not tell that something was wrong."

"I think we just finally knocked some sense into him." Raph stated. "You have to stop worrying about these little things Leo."

"Yeah, but what if we caused Mikey to act like this? Donnie asked.

"You got to be kidding me Donnie! Are you with Leo on this too! Its Mikey guys. Our irresponsible brother who plays pinball, reads comics, plays video games, and has a strange addiction to pizza. Do you really think he could keep it up! He's just needy for attention!" Raph exclaimed, finally losing it.

_Raph is right. Of course Raph is! I'm just overreacting._ It was funny that just after that little outburst, how Raph was able to change his mind. It was as if a miracle came from up above, because suddenly Leo spoke.

"Yeah, your right. We're overreacting. And if it does go on for a couple of days, that would be a good thing. Leo said slowly, as if it finally hit him.

"Exactly!" Raph shouted, a triumphant grin splattered on his face. "So there is nothing to worry about." Raph said.

"This is amazing guys! If we don't bother Mikey about this, he might continue what he is doing! Then we could win so many more battles, we might even beat Shredder!" Leo said.

"Ok guys, but don't forget, Mikey may be doing this just for attention." Donnie pointed out.

"We'll see Donnie. Just have a little hope." Raph said.

_Why not? A little hoping never hurt anyone. _Donnie thought.

Ok Raph, but remember, we don't bother him about this, or he might just quit what he is doing. We can't upset him about this." Donnie said.

"You guys, I think we just got a miracle!" Leo exclaimed.

"Ok guys, as long as Mikey is around, we forget we ever had this talk." Raph warned.

"Agreed!" Donnie and Leo said in complete unison.

Little they know, that Mikey has heard every word.

**Ok, I know that this chapter was pretty short, and it's not one of my best, but I had to much in my brain to squeeze into one itty-bitty chapter. I'll try to update this ASAP. Thank the lord its winter break! Oh, and for anyone who celebrates Christmas, merry early Christmas to you all!**

**See ya!**


	4. Chapter 4: Someone new to please

**Wow, can't believe I updated this soon! And again, a million thank you to old and new readers! Enjoy! And a special thank you to InsaneDutchGirl, who continuously gives me advice to make my writing get better each time! **

**Mikey's Pov**

Hs brother's words rang in his ears like a bell. He wasn't sure what to fell about their words. They _sounded_ like they liked him more, at least if he continued this act of himself. So that meant his plan might just work. But he also felt disappointed, as if he _wanted_ his plan to fail. He needed the reassurance that his brothers loved him the way he was. Apparently, that wasn't the case. He thought that his heart couldn't break anymore, but after hearing the conversation, he knew it was confirmed that his brothers didn't love him anymore. And his heart his shattered into pieces that were so small, they were impossible to see.

But then again, who cared about how he was feeling? Before it was three brothers upset and one brother happy. Now it was three brothers happy and one brother upset. He was just the unlucky brother who was upset. But, as long as his brothers were happy, even if it was by him changing, then so be it. He would have to just keep this up.

So once he herd his brothers footsteps, indicating that they were coming out of the kitchen, he shook himself out of his self-pity and starting practicing with his Nunchaku. Just in the nick of time too, because not even two seconds later, his brothers came in, with grins plastered on their face. No doubt from what they just talked about.

Acting as if they never said anything, Donnie spoke up. "Hey Mikey. You want to watch T.V or having a pinball competition? For who gets the higher score?"

_Really D? Did you guys decide to ask me this to put me to the test? Well I'll show you, I can go a few days without a little goofing off._

Just then was when he realized his brothers were staring at him, waiting for an answer.

"Um, no thanks. I was just about to make breakfast for you guys." Mikey said, with a fake smile on his face. "And then we have _actual_ training with Sensei." He added under his breathe.

"What was that last part? Didn't hear ya." Raph asked.

"Nothing!" Mikey said a little too quickly. "Just that I'm starving." He added, hoping to cover it up.

"Of course you are." Raph taunted, and then headed off to the sofa to watch T. headed off to cook breakfast.

**Raph's Pov**

Once Mikey had gone to cook breakfast, he grinned at his brothers. "Wow, he passed up T.V. guys! How long do you think he could keep it up?"

"I don't think he could last longer than today." Donnie voted.

"I don't know Don, he seemed very determined. Maybe three days at the most." Leo chuckled.

"Ok guys, remember the last thing we spoke about. He have to put Mikey to the test, if our plan is ever going to work." Raphael reminded them.

"Yeah ok guys, but let's not overdue it. We just want a little more help around here and some concentration. Not to torture him." Leo cautioned.

"Yeah, yeah Leo. Let's just enjoy it while it last." Raph said.

Suddenly, Mikey barged into the room. "Guys, breakfast is ready. We just had pizza in the fridge, so I heated it up." Mikey added.

"Yeah, alright Mikey. We'll be there." Donnie said. Satisfied, Mikey left the room and made his way back into the kitchen.

Sharing a wink with his brothers, Raphael, Donatello, and Leonardo followed him.

**Donnie's Pov**

Maybe if Donnie paid close attention, he would have realized that Mikey had not touched his food. Or maybe that there was hurt and betrayal lurking in his brother's usually bright and happy eyes. He might have even realized how selfish he was, taking advantage of Mikey that way. But all that he could think about how amazing life was going to be if Mikey continued what he was doing. No more Mikey barging into his lab, not more experiments being ruined or broken, beating more battles, even against the Shredder!

After eating up the heated up, cheesy pizza, they all headed into the dojo of their daily morning practice with Master Splinter.

They all sat crossed legged on the velvet carpeted floor, awaiting Master Splinter's arrival.

While waiting, Donnie shared a nod with Leo and Raph, and nudged Mikey. "Hey Mikey, after practice were going to go out and get pizza. On the way we can stop at that comic stop and get that new comic edition you have been waiting for." Donnie said.

The battle of choosing what to do was written all over Mikey's face.

_Wow, if Mikey chooses to stay home, then he might actually surprise me. And if he does chooses to stay home, that will even ensure our plan is going on the right track._

Finally, Mikey answered, "I think I'm going to stay home today. I have… things to do."

Donnie, Raph, and Leo shared a surprised glance. They never actually thought that Mikey would stay home. It felt too good to be true. Yet, he just said that he would pass up the choice to get a comic he had been whining about for a week now! He was actually trying to change!

You would think that Donnie would care, or at least wonder, why Mikey was changing. But his selfish actions were clogging his thoughts with day dreams of amazing futures ahead of them.

All of a sudden, Sensei walked into the dojo. He examined his sons with beady eyes, like he did every time. He seemed to stare at Michelangelo with an odd expression. "Good morning my sons." Splinter finally said after a few seconds.

"Good morning Sensei." Mikey, Raph, Leo, and Donnie said in unison.

"We will begin this morning's training with sparring. Raphael versus Michelangelo. Donatello versus Leonardo." Master Splinter decided. "We will begin Michelangelo and Raphael."

_Mikey is going to be in so much trouble._ Donnie thought before Raph and Mikey faced each other for the Miek

**Mikey's Pov**

_Why Sensei? Why did we have to do sparring? And why did you have to put me against me Raph! I alright have a lot on my mind._

As Mikey faced Raph, he could feel sweat beading down his forehead.

_Maybe if I win this match, I might show the other guys what I'm made of. _Mikey thought.

But Mikey couldn't focus for the life of him. He had barely gotten and sleep at all, he didn't eat breakfast, and already have been training all morning while his brothers were asleep. He was just _so_ tired.

"Come on Mikey! Fight like you mean it!" Raph shouted.

"Bring it on Raphie boy." Mikey shot back, but his heart really wasn't into it.

Mikey swung his nunchaku around, aiming for Raph's arm to pull him down. But just as he was about to strike, he felt his eyes drooping.

_No Mikey! Stay awake!_ Mikey frantically thought.

But he was so tired. So, so tired.

All of a sudden Mikey felt a jabbing pain in his side. Raph had punched it, and with all the times Raph's fist hit the wall, his fist was pretty hard. Mikey could already feel the bruise starting to form.

Mikey fell to the floor, holding his side, trying to hold back tears.

_Stop being a baby Mikey. You have gone through way worse. It was just a little punch from your brother, your hero, who knocked the wind out of you, made a bruise on your side, and probably hit you that hard on purpose to test you. No biggie._

"Come on get up Mikey, you big baby." Sneered Raph. Thinking Mikey wasn't looking, he shared a disappointed look with his brothers.

_Darn Mikey! Come on, do you want your brothers to be proud of you or not?_ Mikey scolded himself.

"My sons, training is over. You are dismissed. Except for you Michelangelo, I would like to have a word." Mater Splinter said.

"But Sensei, not that I don't appreciate this opportunity, but don't me Leo and I have to spar?" Donnie asked.

"Maybe later Donatello." Splinter answered patiently. "Unless you would like to do it now?" Splinter added.

"No, no. We're fine." Leo said quickly.

Showing a ghost of a smile, Splinter motioned Mikey to follow him.

"Well someone's gonna get in trouble." Raph smirked as Mikey brushed past him.

Mikey stepped into Splinter's room. Candles illuminated the room in a soft glow.

"Master Splinter, you said you wanted to see me?" Mikey said, but it ended up sounding more like a question.

"Yes Michelangelo. Come sit. Would you lie some tea?" Master Splinter asked.

"Um, no thanks Sensei." Mikey said as he put himself in a sitting position in front of Splinter.

Splinter and Mikey sat together in silence for a few minutes. Finally, Mikey couldn't stand the silence. It was as if it was suffocating him. "So, what would you like to talk about?" Mikey finally asked.

"Hm?" Splinter questioned while taking a sip of his tea. "Oh, yes. Are you o.k. Michelangelo? You seemed off today. I could sense your uneasiness and sorrow."

_How does he do it?_ Mikey wondered. For a moment Mikey thought of telling Master Splinter everything that had happened in the last few hours. About what he heard his brothers say, about his nightmare, of him deciding to change for the greater good. But he quickly decided against it. Sensei wouldn't understand, nobody would. It was better if he kept it to himself.

Now that Mikey thought about it, he seemed to disappoint Splinter a lot too. In training, for instance. He would always lose when he sparred against his brothers. And Splinter wouldn't say anything, but you could see the disappointment in his eyes. Mikey decided that he wouldn't have to do this just for his brothers, but for his dad too.

_Before you know it, I'll find something April and Casey are disappointed in too._ But Mikey quickly erased that thought. He didn't need more people to work for. He has enough in his plate.

So instead of spilling his guts out to Splinter, Mikey just shook his head. "No, nothing's wrong Sensei. I'm just tired, that's all."

Splinter stared at Mikey in an odd way, as if he was looking past Mikey's fake smile and act, and was trying to figure out what Mikey was really feeling. _Gosh, this is getting freaky, and a little weird._ Mikey thought.

Finally, Splinter sighed. "My son, you know you can tell me everything, right?" Master Splinter asked his son in a gentle way.

"Yeah, I know Master Splinter. I really am fine though." Mikey said, and put on a huge grin. Luckily, he succeeded because Splinter's features seemed to relax a little.

"Alright my son, you may be dismissed. But remember, next time you do that poorly in training, there will be consequences. Master Splinter warned.

"Hai Sensei." Mikey said, and quietly left the room. He considered going back to bed, but he doing bad was a sign showing that he needed to work harder. No matter how bad he wanted to catch up on his sleep. _Come on Mikey. Two hours of sleep is more than enough for a ninja teenager_. Mikey thought and brushed by his brothers and headed to the dojo.

"Hey knucklehead! You get in trouble?" Raph shouted, but Mikey just ignored him and kept on walking.

He has work to do.

**So yeah! This is a miracle that I updated today. I was suppose to update yesterday, but I went to sleep at three a.m. so yeah. I don't know why, but I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. Well, more fun than usual I guess. Maybe it was because I was talking to my BBf, who moved schools last year. Whatever the case, I hoped you enjoyed!**

**Until next time, my lovely readers!**


	5. Chapter 5: Starting to understand

**I know I say this every chapter, but it's so true! I LOVE all my readers, you guys are my inspiration! And thanks a million for following through with this story and not getting bored of it. I am sorry to say this will be my last chapter this week, because I'm going to a surprise family vacation to Tennessee! And where I stay, there's no internet or wi-fi, so yeah. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: For the last time! I do NOT own TMNT. And I never will no matter how much my little heart wants to. ****L**

**Mikey's Pov**

_Three days. Six hours of sleep. Two small meals per day. That's all I have time for. But, it's worth it, anything for my brothers. Even if they wouldn't do the same for me. At least I'm getting better at my katas and nunchuck skills. I've learned to pretend to go to bed, and then when everyone else is asleep, I get up and train. Then I go back to bed right before Master Splinter wakes up. I have to be careful, I could tell he's getting suspicious._

_I wonder if they've noticed how tired I've been. Or how much weight I lost. They probably haven't, they're too busy thinking how awesome this is that I'm actually changing. They don't think I her them behind the kitchen doors every night, but I hear them. All the time. It sounds as if they like me better, so why not? This is the time they have their talk, but I know it's nothing new. The same thing they have been talking about the last three nights._

_About how amazing their plan is going. How they can't believe I'm going through with it. Making deals about how long I'm going to last. Like I'm a coin, and they're betting if I will land on heads or tails. The only thing different than me and that coin, is that a coin probably is worth more than me._

_I don't know how long I can last. I have a huge headache for not sleeping a lot. My stomach is calling out for food, grumbling and begging. The worst pain though, is my heart. Throbbing with pain and betrayal. But I'll survive. I'm a ninja, and I have gone through worst. Every hour of sleep, every minute of sleeping is a waste of my time, and time is essential if I'm going to train._

Thinking that, Mikey shook himself out of his daydream. _Thinking is also a waste of time. _Mikey scolded himself.

_Gosh I'm thinking again! You know what Mikey, after you think this though just train, you have a few minutes until you have to cook dinner._

For the next few hungry and tired minutes, Mikey worked on his flips and katas, having no idea what his brothers were actually talking about in the kitchen.

**Leo's Pov**

Leo wouldn't admit it, at least not yet, but he was starting to feel worried for Mikey. Mikey thought no one was looking, when he pushed his food around his plate to make it look like he ate some. Leo noticed the bags under Mikey's once bright eyes. Yes, he was doing better in training, but Mikey's health was going downhill. Maybe he and his brothers were going too far, and he thought it was time to fix their mistakes.

Raph, Donnie, and Leo were in the kitchen, like the past few nights, talking how amazing it was that Mikey was acting like this. Maybe it was finally time to share his thoughts with them.

Donnie and Raph were laughing, talking about how long they thought Mikey was going to last without finally giving up, and that's when Leo thought was the right time to interrupt.

"Um guys, we have a problem." Leo stated.

"You mean besides that there are going to be no more bad guys cause with Mikey we'll be invincible." Raph grinned, and high fived Donnie.

"You guys, this is nice and all, but I think we're going too far. Mikey's health is going downhill.

Raph just rolled his eyes, but Donnie asked, "What do you mean Leo."

"You can't tell me you haven't noticed! He barely eats, he looks exhausted, and when have you seen him smile these past few days! There's something terribly wrong guys!" Leo shouted, finally glad to get that out.

"Leo you worry too much. Like _way_ too much." Raphael snickered.

"No, Raph! I don't worry too much! It's _you_ who should worry a little more!" Leo exclaimed.

"Both of you calm down! Now, Leo, what do you think we should do about it? It's not our fault." Donnie said in a calm matter.

"But it might guys. What if overheard us the past few days. We could be the reason." Leo reasoned.

"Or maybe it's Mikey just being Mikey. He just wants attention. Or maybe he just got a little common sense knocked into him." Raph cried out, looking extremely annoyed.

"How is not eating common sense Raphael! And even if it isn't our fault we're his brothers! Mikey isn't being himself and that worries me."

"How can Mikey not be Mikey. It's impossible for someone not to be their own self." Donnie said, in his 'I know everything voice.'

"Well for starters Donnie, Mikey hasn't smiled the past three days, which I already pointed out. He hasn't played any pranks, read any of his comics, rode his skateboard, or begged for food. His meals aren't creative, they're just plain cheese microwaved pizza! And if you looked at his eyes, you would see they get duller everyday!" Leo shouted, furious.

_How are they oblivious to these signs? Idiots. Wait, now that I think about it, I just realized it today, the fourth day that it has been happening. Does that mean I'm an idiot too?_

"Tell me Leo. If you think it's such a big deal, why haven't you done anything about it sooner?" Raph question.

"Well-cause-I-I-you know. Ugh, I haven't realized it until today. And I'm greatly ashamed in myself for not seeing it sooner, but there is still time we could do something about it." Leo sighed.

"It's ok Leo. You were the first one to notice it. And if this continues for the next three days, then we'll talk to him about it. But you may be overreacting. Let's see how it all plays out first." Donnie reasoned.

_But what if were too late by then? _Leo thought worriedly. But instead of sharing his thoughts, he just said, "Yeah, yeah. Ok. Everything is going to be fine." But Leo sounded as if he was trying to convince himself.

"Come on, training starts in a minute." Leo stated, and then turned around to walk to the dojo, rather quickly, so the others wouldn't see how worried he actually was.

**Raph's Pov**

_In my opinion, Leo is overreacting. But now that he mentions it, Mikey hasn't been himself. But I'm sure everything's fine. What's the worst that could happen? Mikey's stomach grumbled. Wow, it sure is the end of the world if that happens._

As Raph stepped into the dojo, he saw that it was only Mikey and Donnie.

"Hey where's Leo?" He asked.

"Oh, he went to get Master Splinter. He's late for our training." Don explained.

Raph just nodded and sat crossed-leg next to Donnie.

All of a sudden, Leo came out of the dojo with a look on his face. It looked like 'I knew it face.' Mixed with a 'This is bad' look. He would have to ask Leo about that later.

"So, where's Sensei?" Mikey asked. This was the first time he talked since Raph walked in. _That's weird. _Raph thought.

"Um….He had important business to carry and he said to do training without him." Leo said a little too quickly.

"Alright. So what do you guys want to do?" Donnie asked.

"I say we spar. Me versus Mikey. Donnie versus Leo." Raph decided. He had to show Leo that Mikey was fine.

"Well, you and Mikey can spar. I want to work on my Katas." Leo simply stated.

"So Donnie. You want to spar with me next?" Raph asked, smirking.

"Um, no thanks Raph. I'm going to….uh….work on my Katas too. See ya!" Donnie said quickly, and rushed off to follow Leo.

_Coward. _Raph thought.

"So knucklehead, we gonna fight or what? Raph demanded.

"Hold your horses Raph. I'm coming." Mikey mumbled.

Mikey and Raph faced each other, with a determined look on their green faces. They kept on circling each other until Mikey made the first move.

"Booyakasha!" Mikey shouted, but his heart wasn't into it. Mikey looked, what was the word, focused? Ready to attack? Raph didn't know, but the look in Mikey's eyes scared him. He had never seen them like that. The happy innocent look was gone. He now saw what Leo was talking about.

Spinning his nunchucks around, Mikey snapped at Raph's arm, twirling it around his ankle. Bringing in Raph towards him, like his nunchucks were a rope. Once Raph was close to him, Mikey punched him in the face.

"OW! Mikey calm down! This is just training!" Raph shouted, trying to knock some sense into him.

But Mikey just shook his head, and kicked Raph in his plastron. Raphael went flying into the wall, and he could feel a bruise starting to form. It hurt like _shell_, but he had gone through worst. But from Mikey, his little brother, this was something new.

"Mikey! What is your problem?" Raph shouted towards his little brother.

Just then was when Mikey realized what he done. Mikey slowly shook his head, as if trying to get over the fact that he just hurt his older brother, his hero. Tears welled in his baby blue eyes.

Raph _felt_ an aura of regret coming off his little brother. "Hey, Mikey, its ok. I'm fine." Raph soothed in a calm voice, and stood up to prove his point.

But Mikey just kept on shaking his head. "I'm so sorry." Mikey whispered, and rushed out of the lair into the sewers.

"No Mikey!" Raph exclaimed, but Mikey was already out.

Just then, Leo and Donnie came rushing out. "What happened? We heard a loud noise!" Leo proclaimed.

"Well, Mikey and I were sparring. You should have seen the look in his eyes, I don't know how to describe it. It was a mix of fury, confusion, and deception. Then he kicked me and I went flying towards the wall. He just mumbled sorry and ran out to the sewers. He was about to cry.

"Poor little guy." Donnie mumbled.

"This is exactly what I was talking about! But no! We had to wait three more days! It turned out, we couldn't even wait a few hours!" Leo shouted, exasperated.

"Ok Leo, we're sorry. You were right and we were wrong! Now can we please go get him before you get into your lecture!" Raph yelled.

"Yeah, yeah. Ok, let's go. Leo said, and ran off.

"Don't worry little brother. We're coming for you." Raph whispered, and raced off after his brothers.

**So there you have! Why did Leo have that face after he talked to Splinter? What will happen when Mikey is out alone? How will his brothers ever apologize to him? Hahahaha! You'll have to wait at least a week to find out! See ya! And Merry Christmas!**


	6. Chapter 6: Unexpected battle

**Ok, so I was reading the comments and I was like, "Oh no! These people really want me to update!" So, I'm doing this in my car on my new tablet that I got for Christmas, and I have a few hours before I get to where I have to go for vacation! So excuse me for any spelling errors, it's hard to write too hard to write on this thing!**

**Mikey's Pov**

_I hit my brother. I hit my brother. I hit my brother. Not an enemy, but me. I was the reason there is a bruise on the plastron. I was the cause of him being in pain._ Those words kept on swirling around in Mikey's mind. The guilt was unbearable. He tried to change to help his brothers, but he ended up hurting one of them. He ended up hurting his hero. Couldn't he do anything at all? Was he just a mistake?

Mikey kept running, not knowing where he was going, and not really caring either.

All of a sudden, light seeped through the dark and smelly sewers. Mikey looked up, wondering where this bright light was coming from. The moon. The moon was giving him light in the darkness. It comforted him, letting him know it was going to be alright. Mikey needed to get outside, he needed more light coming from the moon. To chase away the darkness.

Crawling out through a manhole, Mikey studied his surroundings, making no one was around. Once the coast was clear, he stepped outside. The breeze helped him calm his nerves, and for a second he was at peace.

Climbing up a latter, his mind wondered back to the day's horrible events. He didn't know why he had hurt Raph so bad. Mikey just felt so angry, confused, overwhelmed. He needed to take all his emotions out on something. Little did he know it would be one of his kind.

Reaching the top of the building, he decided that a little midnight run would clear up his clouded head. Running from rooftop to rooftop, a flash back came back to him.

_The day it all started. This was the same building. The same building that he fell, the same building what caused him to become the monster he was today._

Suddenly, the night air and the moonlight was so comforting. It actually made him feel alone. The moon seemed to be watching him, laughing at the cruelty he had directed to his brother. The wind seemed to whisper to him every mistake he had made in his life. There was now a tension in the air, as if someone were watching him. Or maybe, _following_ him.

Mikey knew one thing, he had to get out of here. But he didn't know where. Not to his place, his brothers defiantly didn't want to see him. He couldn't go back to the sewers, that would just make him feel more isolated. He could go to April's. She would listen to his problems, help him out.

Talking to no one in particular, Mikey mumbled, "I have to get to April's."

"I don't think so turtle." A dark, threatening voice boomed.

Mikey knew that voice, it was the Shredder's.

**Donnie's Pov**

"Where the hell could he be! We searched everywhere in the sewer!" Raph exclaimed.

"I don't know Raph. Hey, Donnie, can we go back home. We could get out T-Phones to see where he last was?" Leo asked.

_Oh yeah, he forgot. About half way through checking the sewers, they realized the forgot their T-Phone because they were in such a rush. But, we decided to keep looking, since we didn't want to go back and start all over again. Gosh, did he hope that Mikey had gone back home, hopefully back to his normal self. He didn't understand why Mikey was acting like that, he could have just asked for help. But maybe he did, we just all ignored it._

He shook himself out of his thoughts. Now wasn't the time to think back, it was time to act. All these questions would be answered as soon as they get Mikey back.

"Yeah, let's head back." Donnie agreed, and rushed back to the lair.

**Mikey's Pov**

"Shredder? Is that you? Show yourself you coward!" Mikey shouted.

The Shredder slowly came out of the shadows, with a menacing look on his face. "I don't think you have any right to call me a coward. You are the one running away from your brothers and your problems. Too scared to face them." The Shredder sneered.

"Shut up!" Mikey screamed.

"You're scared they will not accept you, or love you. But you have no need to think these thoughts Michelangelo. For they never had." The Shredder continued.

"I said shut up!" He shouted.

"They never needed you. Never have, never will. You are just a liability to them, useless. They don't care that you're gone. They are probably hoping you never come back. So why don't we just make things easier for me, you, and your brothers. Let me kill you, you could escape your pain, your brothers would be happy, and then I won't have you as a pain in my thigh." The Shredder suggested.

"No way! Dude, how stupid do you think I am? My brothers may not love me, but with me gone, you'll have a greater chance of getting them! Are you serious, why would you even suggest that?" Mikey exclaimed.

"Fine. If you don't willingly give me your life, then I will _take_ it." The shredder growled.

"You're on." Mikey said, and they charged at each other.

**Leo's Pov**

They were all starting over Donnie's shoulder, looking at the T-Phone, and trying to locate their little brother.

"I got it guys! He's on the rooftop that's on 48th street. Where we were spying on the Kraang a few days ago." Donnie explained.

"Well then what are we waiting for? Let's go get him!" Raph demanded.

"Wait up Raph, he's running at something, or someone. He could be in trouble, maybe facing an enemy." Donnie said worriedly.

"The more of a reason to go. Let's head out." Leo commanded.

_Oh Mikey. What have you gotten yourself into this time?_

**Mikey's Pov**

"Booyakasha!" Mikey shouted as he ran to the Shredder.

Taking out his Nunchuck Mikey twirled them around, making them gain momentum, so when he struck the Shredder, it would leave a greater impact.

"Take this Shred-Head!" Mikey shouted, swinging his Nunchuck on his stomach.

"Oh you little brat!" Shredder roared. Bringing out his spikes on his hand, he swung his hand across Mikey's face. The spikes tore apart his flesh, and pain took over. Putting a hand up to his injury, he felt a warm liquid. Blood.

Noticing that Michelangelo was busy checking the harm he had caused him, Shredder showed no mercy. He punched Mikey in his plastron, and it caused way more than just a bruise. Mikey head cracking, and he guessed that Shredder just broke some of his ribs. Mikey fell to the floor, trying to control his ragged breathing.

Mikey didn't know how long he could last fighting. He seriously needed his brothers right now. But they wouldn't come. Either they didn't know he was gone, which was stupid since Raph had saw him rush out, or they just didn't care. He was on his own.

Slowly, he got up, his eyes focusing on his enemy. He remembered a few months back, Master Splinter had taught him something. _When fighting an enemy, don't look at his weapon, but look in his eye. His sword may lie, but his eyes do not._

"What's the matter Michelangelo? Are you too weak to continue fighting? Or are you still trying to get over the fact that your idiotic brothers aren't here to fight besides you?"

That was it. Shredder had crossed the line. No one, and he meant no one, called his brothers idiotic. If he wasn't going to live pass today, then he would die restoring his brother's honor that the Shredder had just threatened.

With new strength, he charged at the Shredder, Nunchuck spinning wildly, ready to attack. "How dare you ruin my brother's honor!" Mikey shouted, and swung his nunchuck at Shredder's face. Then he violently kicked him in the stomach, where Shredder went flying towards the edge.

"You will pay turtle!" Shredder yelled, and quickly got up. The Shredder quickly went to Mikey and grabbed him by the neck.

Mikey felt the sweet oxygen abandon him, and left him struggling for air. "I will get rid of you permanently." Oruku Saki growled.

_No. This can't be the end. I have so many things to do in my life. I really can't think of them, since I can't breathe, but I'm sure there are a ton. Up until a few days ago, I thought I would die as an old turtle, with tiny turtle babies and grandchildren. Or fighting besides my brothers. I guess this is the second best option, dying while trying to protect my brothers._

Just as Mikey was about to lose conscious, he heard, wait, was that Leo's voice? "Let our brother go Shredder." Leo commanded forcefully.

"My pleasure." Shredder complied, and dropped Mikey off the edge on the building, making him land right on his skull.

"Mikey!" His brothers shouted, and ran towards him.

"I will come back for you turtles. But I'll let you enjoy the torture of your brother being badly injured." The Shredder smirked, and disappeared back towards the haunting shadows.

His brothers held his hand, saying comforting words, and urging him to stay awake.

The pain hurt so much, but for some odd reason he was happy. But why? Suddenly, he knew. His worst fear hadn't come true. He wasn't alone. His brothers had arrived.

"Mikey! I need you to stay awake! Can you see me? Do you know who we are?" Donnie asked.

But Mikey didn't answer. He just said three words. "You guys came." And then he drifted off to unconsciousness.

**Well, I hope that was enough to keep you satisfied until I come back. It's really hard to concentrate on the bumpy road, but I hoped it was good enough! **

**See ya! ;)**


	7. Chapter 7- Breathe!

**Alright everyone, yes I know, it has been 14 days since I updated, when I was suppose too update like 7 or 8 days ago, but I've been going through some hard times since I came back from vacation. So sorry if this chapter is not as good as the others, but I really tried to make it good. I know what I'm going through shouldn't make you get a bad chapter, so yeah, I tried. And please remember, I AM NOT A DOCTOR! I AM SORRY IF THIS CHAPTER THOSE NOT SATSIFY THE NEED OF MEDICAL KNOWING KIDS/TEENAGERS/ADULTS! Hope you still enjoy though!**

**Leo's Pov (Flashback)**

_The wind fiercely blew as he and his brothers raced to the direction the T-Phone said Mikey was. Leo was worried sick, what if Mikey was in danger? Master Splinter had warned him, and he chose to neglect it. If something bad had happened it would be all Leo's fault. Beep, beep, beep. The T-Phone rang, signaling that they were getting closer to closer to Mikey. But the problem was, that it was too quiet. Unnaturally quiet, like the day they had fought the Kraang. But unlike last time, where the silence was just plain weird, this silence seemed to mock them, or maybe warning them to leave. _

_Suddenly, a voice broke the uncomforting silence. "Shredder? Is that you? Show yourself you coward!" Was that, Mikey? Squinting his eyes, he saw that it was indeed Mikey, a few buildings in front of them. Why was he calling out to the Shredder._

_"Guys look! It's Mikey!" Leo exclaimed._

_"Then let's go get him!" Raph shouted impatiently, already jumping to the next rooftop._

_Leo sighed in annoyance, but followed him anyways._

_Abruptly, Raph stopped mid-run. "What is it Raph?" Leo asked curiously._

_Raph just pointed, and Leo gasped. It was Mikey, and the Shredder. 'This is worse than I thought.' _

_"I don't think you have any right to call me a coward. You are the one running away from your brothers and your problems. Too scared to face them." Shredder sneered._

_"Shut up!" Mikey screamed._

_"You're scared they will not accept you, or love you. But you have no need to think these thoughts Michelangelo. For they never had." The Shredder continued._

_"I said shut up!" Mikey shouted angrily._

_"They never needed you. Never have, never will. You are always the first one to go down. You are just a liability to them, useless. They don't care that you're gone. They are probably hoping you never come back. So why don't we just make things easier for me, you, and your brothers. Let me kill you, you could escape your pain, your brothers would be happy, and then I won't have you as a pain in my thigh." The Shredder suggested._

_Raph started balling his fist, but Leo clutched his shoulder. "Wait up." Leo commanded. Leo wasn't sure what was holding back, but he wanted to see how this would unfold._

_"No way! Dude, how stupid do you think I am? My brothers may not love me, but with me gone, you'll have a greater chance of getting them! Are you serious, why would you even suggest that?" Mikey exclaimed._

_Wait a minute, hold up. Mikey didn't think they loved him? Why would that thought even pop up inside his head. Leo took a glance at Donnie and Raph, and saw that they were mirroring the same perplexed faces Leo was wearing._

"_Fine. If you don't willingly give me your life, then I will take it." The Shredder growled._

_Leo knew that this was the time to step in and help Mikey, but he felt frozen to the spot. It was as if he was watching a battle scene in a movie. But Leo knew this wasn't a movie with actors. It was an actual fight between their arch nemesis and their little brother. But still, Leo couldn't find it in him to move._

_"You're on." Mikey said, and they charged at each other._

_"Booyakasha!" Mikey shouted, hitting Shredder in the stomach._

_"Oh you little brat!" Shredder roared. Bringing out his spikes on his hand, he swung his hand across Mikey's face. The spikes tore apart his flesh, and pain took over._

_"Um, Leo!" Donnie screamed urgently. Leo didn't know what was wrong with him, he was frozen. He couldn't move, he couldn't speak. It as if he was paralyzed._

_He punched Mikey in his plastron, and Mikey fell down with a crack. Michelangelo looked as if he was in major pain, which he probably was, but there was a fire in his eyes. The fire in his eyes held flames of determination. And Leo could tell Mikey wasn't going to back down._

_"What's the matter Michelangelo? Are you too weak to continue fighting? Or are you still trying to get over the fact that your idiotic brothers aren't here to fight besides you?" The Shredder sneered._

_Suddenly, something in Mikey must have cracked, because he seemed to have new fury within, and he charged at the Shredder._

_"How dare you ruin my brother's honor!" Mikey shouted, and swung his nunchuck at Shredder's face. Then he violently kicked him in the stomach, where Shredder went flying towards the edge._

_Leo never knew Mikey had this violence inside of him. It was weird how just a few days ago they had a fun loving, innocent, and carefree little brother. Now, in the past three days, they had a determined, angry, strong brother, along with a bit of confusion, and betrayal. The problem was, Leo had no idea why._

_Turning his attention, back to the fight, he saw Oruko Saki holler, "You will pay turtle!" He quickly got up, and in a split second, had Mikey hanging by his throat. Mikey was turning blue, and he looked as if he was in desperate need of oxygen. If he wasn't released soon, Mikey wouldn't make it. He would die. HE WOULD DIE! Ho come Leo have not realized it sooner. It sunk in, through this whole battle, Mikey could have died, and he was just standing there watching it all play out. He had to do something right now!_

"Let our brother go Shredder." Leo commanded forcefully, finally coming to his senses.

"With pleasure." Shredder complied, and dropped Mikey off the edge on the building, making him land right on his head.

"Mikey!" Leo and his brothers shouted simultaneously, and rushed to him. Shredder said something about enjoying torture, but Leo's focus was on his youngest brother.

"Mikey! I need you to stay awake! Can you see me? Do you know who we are?" Donnie desperately asked.

But Mikey just had this small smile plastered on his face, and said, "You guys came." And then he went unconscious.

"NO! Mikey I need you to stay awake! Do you understand me? MIKEY WAKE UP!" Donnie shouted. "Guys we need to get him back to the lair! Carry him carefully, and try not to harm his injuries anymore!" Donnie exclaimed sounding worried. Wow, Donnie, the doctor of the family was worried. And he hadn't even done test on Mikey to see what was wrong with Mikey. This must have been worse than Leo thought. Maybe if they had helped Mikey in the fight earlier, they wouldn't be in this mess. But now wasn't the time to think about the past and what he should have done. He had to focus on the present, and do what he could. And that was taking Mikey back home.

So Leo took Mikey's arms and head, Donnie took his legs, and Raph took Mikey's back, and they took off. Leo was so stuck in his world of worry, that he didn't realize that they went into the sewers until he felt cold water on his feet.

"We need to go quicker guys! This cold sewer air is just going to make Mikey's condition worsen!" Don warned.

So without another word, the three brothers picked up their pace, concern for their youngest brother motivating them. The only sound in the smelly sewers were the turtles' footsteps, and Mikey's ragged breathing, which seemed to get worse by the second.

"We're hear guys!" Donnie exclaimed. Leo would've been excited, but he had a bad feeling that the worst was still yet to come.

"Leo, go get Master Splinter! Raph, I need you to put Mikey in the infirmary, and then get me a wet cloth and some blankets!" Donatello commanded.

_Is this how I sound when I command them?_ Leo thought. Half of Leo was annoyed, but the other half was relieved to have a job to take his mind off Mikey. With caution, he approached Master Splinter's room. A sudden thought occurred to Leo. _What would Master Splinter say when I tell him what happened. He had informed me, of those terrible things that might come, and I neglected it. He would be so disappointed in me._ _He would think it was my fault, which it is. I had the power to stop it but, I didn't._

Well, Leo couldn't just wait here, Sensei would find out today. Plus, he had a job to do, so taking a deep breathe, he walked into the room.

There were two flickering candles illuminating the room. Master Splinter was sitting crossed legged, his eyes closed.

"Yes Leonardo?" Splinter asked, without opening his eyes. _How the shell does he do that? _Master Splinter, we have, ah…. We have an emergency. It's about Mikey." Leo stuttered. He hated how weak his voice sounded.

"Did I, or did I not warn you about this Leonardo?" Sensei asked.

"Yes you did, and I'm sorry Sensei, but maybe you can reprimand me later? Donnie was extremely worried, so we better go check on him." Leo said, trying not to sound disrespectful.

"Yes, my son. You are right." Splinter complied, getting up. Let us see Michelangelo."

Nodding, Leo led Master Splinter to the infirmary. Opening the door, he saw a sight that he wished he never have to see.

**Raph's Pov**

Raph stepped into Donnie's infirmary, with three blankets and a wet cloth in his hands.

"I brought the blankets Don." Raph said to Donnie, who was apparently checking out to see how Mikey was. Seeming satisfied, he walked to his laptop, probably to do some research on what he knew.

"Alright, just place the blankets carefully around Mikey's body, and the cloth on his forehead. I called April, she said that she's going to bring some medical supplies. I can't do much without them, I already cleaned up all his injuries. Let's just try to bring down his fever for now." Donnie briefed without even looking up from his computer screen.

Nodding, he went towards Mikey, frowning as he saw him. Mikey was sweating bullets, but shivering at the same time. He had scratches and bruises all over his body. He was unnaturally pale, and he had a huge bump on his head. Raphael knew however bad Mikey looked, he would be worse. And that chilled him to the core.

Placing the cold, wet cloth on Mikey's forehead as Donnie instructed, he stared at him with sad eyes.

"I know you get in a lot of trouble Mikey, but you have to be kidding me." Raph muttered.

Michelangelo was so quiet and still. Wait a minute. Raphael nervously looked at Mikey's chest. It remained unmoving. Raphael had no idea what to do, so he did the only thing he_ could_ do.

"Donnie! Mikey's not breathing!" Raph shouted in a panic voice.

"What? But that's impossible, he was fine a minute ago!" Donnie mumbled, rushing toward Mikey.

_Push_

_Push_

_Push_

_Push_

_Push_

"Come on Mikey!" Donnie exclaimed.

_Push_

_Push_

_Push_

"Raph! Get the oxygen mask! It's in the top draw in the cabinets!" Donnie shouted.

"Oxygen mask, oxygen mask." He mumbled to himself as he searched the cabinet. It was filled with bandages, medicine, and other stuff Raph couldn't even recognize. _Yes!_ He thought triumphantly as he held up the oxygen mask.

"Handing the mask to Donnie, Raph muttered, "I'm not even going to ask where you got that."

"You would be surprised to see what humans throw away." Don said so quickly that he almost didn't understand it.

Slipping the oxygen mask on Mikey, and switching on the oxygen tank, Donnie continued to do compressions. That's when he noticed that Leo and Sensei had stepped into the room, their mouths wide open.

Turning his attention back to his little brother, he saw Michelangelo's breathing slowly return back to normal.

"Yes! Donnie shouted, slumping down to the floor with exhaustion.

"What just happened!" Leo shouted. His worry was so obvious, that he could have been wearing a sign saying _"I'm freaking out!"_

"Mikey-he-he." Donnie struggled.

Giving a look at Donnie that said, _"I'll tell them_", Raph took over. "Mikey stopped breathing. We had to do something." Raph said, not having to say anymore. Leo and Sensei merely nodded.

"Well, at least the worst is over." Leo said after a few moments in uncomfortable silence.

"Actually Leo, I think it just began. We were lucky." Donnie said, getting up from the floor after catching his breathe.

"How is our little brother not breathing lucky!" Raph exclaimed. "How could it possibly it worst!"

"Well, I don't know! Maybe he could have, died! Maybe he could have been too late and lost him!" Donnie screamed, finally losing it.

A hush of silence settled over the room. "I'm- I'm sorry." Donnie stuttered, tears in his eyes

Leo came, and put an arm around Don. It's alright Donnie, it's the truth. We were very lucky indeed." Leo soothed.

Raph felt a wave of guilt wash over him. Of course they were lucky, things could have been way worse.

"Sorry Donnie." Raph said, almost a whisper.

Donnie nodded his head, and wiped his eyes.

"My son. What did you mean the worst is yet to come? Mater Splinter asked.

"Well, if we had to do CPR, than them it must have been worse than we thought. Without the medical care he needs, things are going to go downhill. And Shredder had punched him in the gut, so with us-me- doing compressions on him, that could just make it worse.

"You had to do compressions Donnie, there wasn't any other choice. Leo pointed out, arm still around Don, just in case he still needed the comfort.

"Yeah." Donatello just sighed.

"Um, Don? Why didn't Mikey wake up through this whole, um….experience?" Raph asked, choosing his words carefully.

"Well, Mikey was unconscious when he stopped breathing, so it's no surprise he remained that way. But if he doesn't wake up soon, that could be a major problem. But for now, it means that his body is getting the rest he needs." Donnie explained.

"Any more questions?" Donatello asked.

"Two more." Leo stated. "One. Do you know any of his injuries?" Leo asked.

One part of Raph had been dying to find out, but the other was scared. What if he wasn't able to handle it? But they had to know. Whether they liked it or not, the truth would catch up to them.

Donnie took a deep breathe. "Well, I barley been able to do research, but based on past research and books I read, I have a few theories. I think Mikey may have cracked a few rips, which would have caused him to pierce his lung. That might be why he stopped breathing. And that huge gash on his head when he landed from the building, I think he might have fractured his skull. Which may result in brain damage, or even…death." Donnie said with difficulty.

"Of course I'm not 100% sure, but if I had to gamble I would bet my life on that." Donnie said.

"How can you know all of that? Raph asked.

"I've read more books on this then we have fought battles." Don simply said.

"Wow." Was all that Raph said.

Raph always thought that being smart and having knowledge would be amazing. But now he saw that there was a huge bad side. With all that intelligence and awareness, you knew what was going to happen, the result of things. And knowing those things can chill you to the core. Raoh was actually gald not to be the smart one at this moment.

The family was quiet for a long time, all lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Donnie finally spoke up.

"Leo, you said you had two questions for me. You only asked one, what was the last one?"

Leo took a deep breathe, as if just saying this would be one of the worst experiences he would have to go through.

"Will he survive?"

Donnie looked down, stayed silent for a while, and then looked up with fresh tears in his chocolate brown eyes.

They all held their breaths, eager yet dreading the answer.

"If you want the honest answer Leo. Probably not."

**So again, I am NO DOCTOR! And yes, I know, one of my worst and longest chapters. Please bear with me, and maybe some of you will still stick with this story after this crummy chapter.**


	8. Chapter 8: A twist

**Firstly, I apologize for chapter 6 and 7 for having a glitch. Please tell me if you find that problem again! And one last thing, who saw the 1****st**** TMNT episode of season 4? I loved it, seeing April and Leo work together was just so amazing! Now enough of my stupid author's note that I always put, and onto the story!**

**Donnie's Pov**

He said it. He finally told his father and brothers his suspicions. How desperately did he want to tell his brothers that he didn't know for sure, that he was just guessing, but then he would be lying. All the signs pointed to that answer. He stopped breathing due to a pierced lung, the bleeding from his skull meant a cracked skull, his cracked rib due to his ragged breathing. And a ton of other factors!

"But, you can fix him? Can't you?" Leo whispered.

"Leo, I'm a mechanic, not a doctor. And I don't even know how I am going to fix him without the right medical supplies. Hopefully April brings the right supplies before it is too late." Donnie hoped.

Suddenly, maybe by a miracle, or luck, the red head walked into the liar woth a old dusty box filled with medical supplies.

"Guys, I came with the medical supplies. Is he- Oh my gosh! Mikey" She shouted mid-sentence, dashing towards Mikey.

"Is he? You know?" April asked.

"No. Not yet at least." Don sighed.

She seemed to get the hint.

"Oh guys." She said sadly. "Do you know what's wrong with him? Is there anything I could do to help?"

"Well, from what I can tell he has a cracked rib which pierced his lung, and a cracked skull that can cause brain damage if not treated immediately. Then, I think he might have a twisted ankle, but that's not such a big deal compared to his other injuries. But it's still essential to fix that up. We have to make sure to keep him hydrated, so pretty much we should wet his lips every few minutes." Donnie listed, counting off the things that we had to do.

"Alright, I'll get a bowl of water." April decided, already heading towards the kitchen.

Turning to Sensei, Donnie questioned as respectfully as he could while trying to get over the fact that his only little brother could be dying right before his very eyes. "Who knows when Mikey will wake up. But, when he does, we are going to have to do a procedure on him. Do you think you could make him some numbing tea?"

"Of course Donatello." Splinter complied, and headed out of the room.

"Leo, Raph, can you wrap up Mikey's leg with the tape April brought. " Don requested.

"Didn't you say that the head is the most important thing we have to fix." Leo stated.

"Yeah, but I need to be certain it is a cracked skull. I don't have an x-ray, but I could do the next best thing. I need to take a MRI, which is like an x-ray on my computer.

Nodding, Leo went to Mikey as April came in with a bowl of shimmering water.

"Thanks April. Just gently put it on his lips." Don demanded softly, without looking up from the computer screen, rapidly typing.

**April's Pov**

"Alright." April nodded, walking towards Mikey. "Oh Mikey. What are we going to do with you?" She mumbled, gently spreading water on his cracked lips.

Mikey was like a little brother that she never had. So filled of light, and even though he could be quite annoying, he was still the most precious thing. It was a true experience, like really having siblings that she once longed to have. It was as if all the light drained out of him. And she felt…Well, she felt as if someone had stabbed her in the heart with a knife over and over again. And she couldn't stop looking at his body, like someone was pulling her eyes open. And she hated feeling like this. _If I feel as crestfallen as I do right now, I wonder how Mikey's real brothers must be feeling._ April thought with despair.

"Um, April?" Leo asked waving a sea green hand in front of her. Shaking her head, she realized she was staring at Mikey, tears slowly rolling down her face.

"Hey, its o.k. April. We'll fix this. Mikey is strong, he'll get through this. _We'll _get through this." Leo soothed in a gentle and comforting voice.

Nodding, April wiped her tears and unwrapped herself from Leo's arms.

Taking a deep breathe to relax herself, she asked, "You need any help with Mikey's leg?"

"Yea, if you could just raise his leg a bit as we wrap the tape around it." Leo requested.

Doing as she was told, she gently grabbed Mikey's and raised it just high enough for Leo and Raph to work. During this whole procedure, Raph had been quiet. He was really distant, it was like he was physically here doing to action, but his mind was elsewhere. He was trying to keep his cool, but April could tell that he felt like breaking down. She made a mental note to talk to him later, but for now she had to give all her attention to Michelangelo.

"Alright guys, are you done wrapping up his leg?" Don called about five minutes later.

"Yeah genius, were finished." Raph said.

"O.k., I need you to step back. I'm going to do a MRI, and I need the area to be absolutely clear, this test is critical if Mikey is ever going to recover.

So Leo, Raph, and April took a huge stepped back, and then a red scanner went up and down on Mikey's head, making a beeping sound, probably giving information to Donnie.

Then the machine died down, indicating that the scan was finished. Donatello carefully read over his computer, and he started shaking his head. "No." Donnie whispered.

**Donnie's Pov**

_You have to be kidding me! Why, why, why, why! Why me? Huh? Why Mikey…_

"Why do I always have to be right?" He screamed to no one in particular.

"Donnie?" April asked softly.

Taking a gulp of air, he steadied himself, and faced his brothers and his beautiful crush. "He indeed has a fractured skull. But it's done more damage than we thought, I have no idea how to fix this! Guys, it cracked right in the middle, where his brain should be. Do you understand how hard this is going to be to fix? How difficult it will be for Mikey to survive this! How am I suppose too fix this, I can't do this! He shouted.

April made her way to him with caution. Holding his hand firmly, she started into his worried-filled brown eyes. "Donnie, its ok. I promise you, we will fix Mikey. And _you _don't have to go through this. Were all in this _together_." She said, motioning her hand across the room, stopping her hand in front of Raph, Leo, to the kitchen where Splinter was, herself, himself, and finally Mikey. April's words calmed down Donnie a lot. She was right, they would do this.

"April, I am going to have to see the medical supplies that you brought." Don said, finding control in his voice once more.

"Alright." April agreed, walking towards her bag, with Donnie and his brothers in tow.

Donatello rummaged through the box, examining the medical supplies April brought. Bandages, a thermometer, elastic surgical tape, a wound closer system, surgical scissors, antibiotics, tubes, and a million other things.

"Wow April! Where did you get all this?" Donna asked, fascinated. All his life he could only dream of having this supplies. He would enjoy them more, of course, if they weren't under the circumstances they were now.

"When you called me and Casey, we were volunteering at a hospital to help kids who couldn't walk. So when I got called there was an emergency, they let me borrow a few stuff." April explained.

"Wow. What luck." Leo marveled.

"Speaking of Casey, where is he?" Raph asked, obviously hoping he would be here, or if not then come soon.

"He went to get his grandmas credit card. I tried to talk him out of it, but he said were going to need money if it was bad." April sighed, evidently annoyed.

"That's just who Casey is." Donnie groaned.

Suddenly, there was a groan coming from the bed. "Ughhhhhh."

_Mikey! No, no ,no ,no ,no! He was suppose too be asleep for at least another twenty-four hours! Someone should have been watching him! _Don thought frantically. This was not suppose too be planed. Something was _horribly_ wrong.

"Mikey!" Raph exclaimed, and rushed to the bedside, with the others quickly trailing behind him.

"Sensei! I need to numbing tea!" Donnie shouted from the room while trying to collect his cool. Even though he knew this wasn't planned, he couldn't help but be excited. Even though it had only been a few hours, it had felt like days since they had seen Mikey's baby blue eyes staring at them. _Here it goes._ Donnie thought, stepping into the room.

**Mikey's Pov**

_Ugh, I feel like I got ran over by the Shell-Raiser, like a million times. Where am I? And why do I hear myself like an echo? Wait, hold up. Master Splinter said something about this before, what was it? Argh! Why don't I pay attention to these things? Hm… Oh yeah! It was something about being trapped in your own mind. Right…_

_WAIT! I'M TRAPPED IN MY OWN MIND?! This is too weird! Get me out of here!_

_Silence was the only thing that responded._

_Shell, how do I get out of here? Am I even able to walk through my own mind? Maybe if I imagine my physical body walking. Ugh! Stupid spiritual stuff that I don't understand! Ok, let's see. If I think I'm moving forward, would I?_

_As an answer to his question, Mikey slowly progresses forward. "Awesome! Now to find my way out of here."_

_After walking what felt like eternity, we suddenly heard a voice. _

_"Michelangelo?"_

_Oh no! No, please gosh no! Not again! Mikey started imaging himself moving forward even faster, and soon he was running, in his mind if that was even possible._

_"Don't try running, I'm everywhere. In your nightmares, reality, and now in your mind."_

_"Shredder! How are you doing this!" Mikey shouted._

_"Not for you to know puny turtle. Now come to me, and you shall be mine." Shredder sneered._

_"No way Shred head! For all I care, you could follow me even when I'm dead, I will never give myself too you!_

_"Why? Isn't it better than living with your brothers? After all, if I do recall, they came a little late to save you, don't you think. And they are always calling you an idiot, and stupid, and they want you to change. Your life will be so much simpler than it is with me than it is with them. Join me Michelangelo." Oruko Saki bribed._

_"How do you even know this! How do you know how my brothers treat me, or even how I think? You can't have access into my life! Or my mind for that matter!" Mikey shouted._

_"Ah, I guess since you won't live long enough, I might as well give you a little information. You see, I have hired some new recruits. Morgan Willow and Obsidian Black, my new scientist and spies. You see, my new scientist have been able to hack into your systems, being able to see or hear anything going on. And that is not the best part Michelangelo. Not only have they found a way to hack into your lair, but your mind too. Soon, we will hack into your Master's mind. You are simply like a test run Michelangelo, but trust me, I will get rid of you once this is through."_

_"But how did you hack into the system with my brother Donnie knowing! And how is it possible to hack into minds. And where exactly did you get those new scientist? What are you going to do to my Sensei and bothers, to me? What do you have planned Shredder?" Mikey shouted._

_"Ah, Michelangelo. So many questions and yet so many untidy answers. And looks like my time is up." Shredder taunted, and disappeared._

_"Shredder wait up! Come back here this instance!" Mikey shouted, but instead he started to rush towards a light. His brothers voices became cleared, and he felt himself becoming consciousness._

"Mikey? Bro…Up!

Open…eyes!

My…son please!

Mikey could only hear bits and pieces of what his brothers and everyone was telling him. He had to warn them about what happened.

He started moving his lips, but no sound got out.

"Shush guys, he's trying to say something!" Donnie commanded.

"Sh-Sh-Shredder."

**And there we have it! Did not expect that to happen, but it came to while writing, so yeah. I must say, after taking all the exams I took this week, this chapter came out better than expected. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I loved writing it!**


	9. Chapter 9: What if

***Dodges shoes and tomatoes being thrown at her.* "So…hi readers. How you doing? Heh."**

***Donnie, Leo, and Raph come storming in. *Raph yells*"How do you think they're doing! You left us on hold with our brother dying, for TWO WEEKS! AND NOTHING HAS HAPPENED! DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH?"**

**"I'm so sorry! Really, I am! You see- *Gets interrupted by Raph* "Ok, so not only do you not update in two weeks, but you bother them with this stupid authors note."**

**"Fine! If you want to know where I've been, it will be at the end of this chapter! There, everyone happy?!"**

**(Haven't done this in a while) Disclamier: I do not own the turtles. *Raph interrupts me, again!* "Thank gosh, or our lives would be terrible."**

**"SHUT UP!"**

**Mikey's Pov**

"Sh-Shre-dder." He whispered. He didn't exactly know who he was talking too, but he felt Shredder was still haunting him, even though he disappeared, and he thought maybe by saying it he would feel a little better and snap him out of his trance.

That is when he realized the distant but certain voices for his brothers. It seemed like they were half way around the world, yet right in front of him at the same time. It was like you were calling a relative who lived far away, but yet you can hear them right next to your ear.

"Mik….open…eyes." Someone called, sounding a bit like Don.

"Mmmmm." Mikey whined, unable to talk, he was surprised he even had the strength to even make that noise. But he did as he was told, and opened his eyes, just to have a rush of blinding light came towards him. Pain flowed through him, the light giving him a major head rush.

"Guys….off…lights." Someone said, but this time Mikey wasn't able to pinpoint who it was.

"Alright Mikey…can….open…eyes." Deciding to take his chances, he slightly opened one eye, and deciding it was safe, opened both of them. He was greeted by the blurry sights of his brothers, a girl with red hair, probably April, and Sensei circling him. That's when the pain rammed into him. His head was pounding, and it was so difficult to breathe. Every breath was a punch to the ribs, and he felt so nauseas. Then, the memories came back to him. Hearing his brothers not want him, changing, hurting Raph, fighting the Shredder. All the horrible moments in the past week ran into him, one after the other. He felt his heart beat quicker, and his breathes were becoming shallow and quick.

"Mikey! Calm down! It's me Donnie, and your brothers. Deep breathes, your safe now." Apparently, Donnie said. He guessed that along with his other senses, his hearing was getting better. The figures of his brothers stated to go into focus, and they were getting less blurry. But every time he could see them clearer, the pain increased.

"Look at me Mikey. Breathe along with me." Donatello said, slowly taking deep breathes to show Mikey. With extreme difficulty, Mikey tried to steady his breathing, and after a few minutes of his brothers urging him, he got his breathing under control, at least better than before.

"Mikey, I am going to give you some painkillers. It won't make all the pain go away, but you should feel at least a bit better than this." Donnie said. All Mikey cold do was bob his head. Which he hoped his brothers took that as an "O.k."

Luckily, his brothers understood, and seeing he didn't have the strength, put the pills in his mouth, and suddenly a stream of water went down him itchy throat. He didn't realize how dry and sore his throat felt, but the refreshing, cold water was like heaven in his mouth. If only water cold cure the rest of his aching body too.

**Leo's Pov**

The pain on his little brother's face was evident. He seemed to be suffering, and it shouldn't be that way. He wasn't suppose too wake up now, heck he wasn't even suppose too be in this situation. If anyone, it should be him_. He_ didn't do anything to stop the fight_, he_ wasn't there to stop Mikey from running off.

But, Leo knew that he couldn't turn back the clock, there was nothing he could do about the past. But Leo knew one thing. _He_ would be there to help Mikey recover. _He_ would not let Mikey die. And _he _was going to make sure nothing like this ever happened again.

"Mikey, you are back home. Nothing bad is going to happen, you are going to alright." Leo soothed.

"Hurrtss. Tireddd." Mikey slurred, unable to say anything else.

"I know Mikey, but _please_ stay awake for a little longer. For us?" Don encouraged softly.

"K" Mikey responded, but still grimacing in pain. Leo grabbed Mikey's hand and gave it a slight squeeze, and Mike's features relaxed just a little.

Leo noticed that ever since Mikey had woke up, Raph had been unusually quiet. He was just looking at Mikey, guilt and pity written all over his face. Leo would have to talk to him later.

"Mikey, I have to put an IV in you, so you'll just feel a slight pinch. I promise, but we need to do it if you want to get better" Don explained while pulling out a bottle of rubbing alcohol, a needle, and some tape.

At the sight of the needle, Mikey panicked. He was terrified of shots, and it was always a struggle to give him one. Fortunately for them, Mikey was too weak and exhausted to fight back, he just laid there with a panicked look on his face. Leo actually thought that was worse though, if he were to fight back, at least they would know he had some strength in him. And he had just encountered the Shredder, Leo knew it must be horrible to face another one of his fears.

"Mikey, don't look at the needle. Look at my eyes, focus on what I am telling you." Leo said, and Mikey brought his attention to Leo. Sharing a knowing glance at Donnie, he began to talk.

"Remember the time you fought those wasp? You were so strong and brave Mikey. You fought with courage, like a true warrior. Or the time we first fought Shredder? We were all so scared, but you went and attacked him with you nunchuka. Even if it meant being crushed by a ten ton sign. You have done so many heroic actions, and we are so proud of you little brother. You never gave up then, so don't give up now." Leo said, blinking back tears.

Mikey gave Leo a small smile. "Thanks." He whispered.

"Done." Donnie announced. "Did you feel anything Mikey?" Don asked, and to his satisfaction, Mikey slightly shook his head. It turned out, focusing himself on Leo made him unaware of what was happening. They would have to try that with Mikey in the future. _If _Mikey lasted that long.

"Ok Mikey. I am going to give you a sedative, which will make you fall in a deep sleep." Don explained.

"Mikey, and as your leader, I command you to wake up when you are suppose too this time." Leo demanded playfully.

"Yes sir." Mikey agreed, and already began to fall asleep. Once he was out, Leo mumbled, "And please Mikey. Don't stay asleep either."

"Ok guys, I need you to step out for a few moments, me and April have some work to do. I can't have too many people here while I'm doing this part of the procedure." Donatello ordered.

"We're his brothers. Why can't we stay?" Raph huffed. _Oh sure. He'll talk to complain, but not to be there for our youngest brother._

"Well, that's because I need to focus. And trust me, you guys can come in just when I am done with this part. You see, I am going to do surgery on his skull, I need to reattach the bones, and I have to remove any damaged tissues that may cause damage. And I need April's skinny hands, and my knowledge to work on this." Don explained.

"Skinny hands?" April questioned. "What do you mean, _skinny_ hands?"

"Well, you know. Smaller hands than ours. Please April, I need your help." Don begged.

"How can I refuse?" April questioned, and started putting on a pair of yellow nurse gloves.

"But-" Raph started to protest, but Leo stopped him. "Wait Raph, as much as it kills me to wait, he need to let Don do his thing." Leo explained as calmly as he could, and getting a grateful look from Donnie in return. When his hot headed brother stayed put, Leo yanked his arm, and started to drag Raph, and he finally complied, trudging out the door with Leo.

As Raph exited the room, Leo whispered "Good luck Don, save our little brother." And followed Raph into to living room.

**Raph's Pov**

_Donnie has no right to kick me out! Mikey is my brother too, who does he think he is, kicking me out! For all I know he could be lying to us, and Mikey can be dying right now! Please let Mikey be o.k. Please, please, please!_ Raph thought with misery, his hope was seeping away ever moment that passed by.

Lost in his own thought, Raph absent mindly sat on the sofa, and put his head into his cupped hands, thinking of _what ifs_. _What if_ they never had that sparring match? _What if_ they got to him sooner? _What if _they had listened to Leo when he said something may be wrong with Mikey? Raph knew his little brother, and Mikey would never go as far as to hurt any member of his family. Was it what they said, could he have some way over heard Don, Leo, and him when they were talking about him? Was that the case, or was it something more? These questions were driving him crazy!

Raph felt the sofa shift under some more weight, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Leo taking a seat next to him. They sat together in silence for some moments, each in there far way world of questions and untidy answers. Finally, Leo spoke.

"Raph, you know he's going to be o.k., right? He'll pull through, he is too strong not to."

"Yeah, I know." He sighed.

"No, you do not. Raph, you never have been one to talk about how you are feeling, but your expression says a thousand words that your mouth cannot." Leo disagreed. Raph felt his cheeks burning, the one time he needed to hide his emotions, and Leo could read him like he was a book. Taking a deep breath, he turned to Leo.

"How…how can you be so sure? What if he dies, and the last few things that we did to him was try to make him change, and make fun of him? What if those were our last few days with him, and that's how we spent it?"

"It won't be." Leo decided, sounding like he was trying to convince himself.

"It won't be, or it can't be?" Raph asked softly. He knew that Leo was trying to deny the truth, that Mikey might not make it, but raising false hopes would hurt more than already suspecting something was coming. The world was just cruel that way.

He sat there patiently, waiting for Leo to say something, for Raph had no words. Then, Leo did something unexpected, tears started rolling down his cheeks, tears that he had been holding in for so long.

"Raph, I can't do this anymore. I know Mikey has a high chance of not surviving, and I need to hope. But there is just so much I can take before I break. I know I have to be strong for you guys, and act like leader and all, but I just _can't." _Leo sobbed.

Wow, this was new. Raph was so used to Leo being the brave one, keeping it together for the team. But now it was a completely different turtle. Leo wasn't the leader, the courageous one he was always trying to be. No, right now, this Leo, he was a helpless, scared, worried teenager, having no clue what to do. It was the Leo that he always tried to hide.

Raph wasn't one who usually comforted others, especially not their fearless leader, but it seemed Leo desperately needed it right now. So, Raph wrapped his arms around Leo, and pulled him to a tight embrace, letting him cry into his shoulder.

Once Leo had calmed down a bit, Raph untangled them from the hug, but grasped Leo's shoulders. "Leo, I'm not saying that Mikey is for sure going to live, but I'm also not saying he is for sure going to die. To be honest, right now I'm only sure of one thing. That you don't have to go through this alone, were going through this bumpy ride together. No matter what happens, for better or for worse, we will always be there for each other. So don't put the burden all on your shoulders, you don't always have to act as a leader. Sometimes, you have to act, who you really are. And let that fake character you're acting for everyone, just let it drop. You don't have to be brave only for us, we all have to be brave for one another."

Leo looked Raph in the eyes, gratefulness seeming to radiate off him.

"Thanks Raph. You have no idea how much I needed that." Leo whispered, so soft that Raph barely caught it.

"No problem bro." Raph responded.

"Your right, we'll make it through these rough times. Just like we always have."

"Just like we always will."

**Yeah, so I hoped you liked it. The beginning was a bit choppy, but I still like writing this. **

***Raph shouts* "Wow! What a way to keep the readers happy, give them a choppy and short chapter. Even after you made them wait two weeks."**

**"Leo and Donnie nod their heads in agreement.***

***I get really angry!* WILL YOU GUYS JUST SHUT UP! YOU BELONG IN MY STORY, AND YOU WILL STAY IN MY STORY! AND IF YOU KEEP PESTERING, JUST KEEP IN MIND THAT I HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE ANYONE OF YOU DROP DEAD THIS SECOND! SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!**

***The 3 brothers look scared beyond their minds.* *Leo speaks nervously.* "We are so sorry. You know what we should do guys? We should go bake her some cookies and then leave her alone."**

***Others nod frantically, plaster on a big, fake smile, and leave the room.***

**"That's what I thought. So anyways, for those who are still reading this author note and actually care, my laptop broke down. Now I need to go over to a friend's house, ot write bits and pieces of it after school in the computer lab. Also, I have a lot of exams, so I stay uo all night studying and all. Updates will come slower, hopefully not this slow, but slower. **

**Don't forget to review! See ya!**


	10. Chapter 10: Are you happy now?

**Wow, more that 100 reviews or my first story! Thanks so much guys, you have no idea how much this means to me! I would list all the people I would like to thank so many people, but that list would be longer than the actual chapter. This took me days to make, but it is finally done! I have to say this was my favorite chapter to write, it's one of the few I actually had planned and stayed that way! About 4, 700 words! That may not seem like a lot to many people, but for me, it seems like a ton! (By the way, this is my second time writing this. My computer reset, and the chapter was almost done! This should have come out like four days ago...)**

**Oh, and I'm going on vacation this week, so there won't be an update. So sorry guys, but I hope this extra long chapter was enough to keep you satisfied and keep thinking about!**

**Mikey's Pov**

_That silence echoed off the pitch black walls as if he was in a cave. As he squinted his eyes, all he saw ahead of him was a never ending hall way. _

_"Hello?" Mikey called out, but quietness was the only thing that responded back to him. "Is anyone there?" Mikey tried again, but once more the silence greeted him back. Deciding there was nothing else he could do, he took the only path he could, forward._

_It was weird walking. He was moving his legs and all, but instead of moving forward, the walls seemed to come to him. And every time that he thought he had made it out of this maze, an opening would pop up, and he would have to continue walking._

_After what seemed as hours, who knew, it might actually have been, a blood red door popped up a few meters ahead of him. Finally! It wasn't his brothers or someone to tell him where he was, but it was something than dark oblivion! That had to count as something, right?_

_Mikey started moving his legs even faster, and the door starting advancing towards him quicker and quicker, and right before the door was going to crash into him, it opened up, showing a scene of him and his brothers the day they first went to the surface. It was like an opening scene in a play, but in fast motion, because then, the images started changing. Starting from there, it showed all the mistakes he made all the dumb questions he asked, his brother's reactions towards him. It was as if he was watching a movie being fast-forwarded, but he was unfortunate enough to see all the parts he desperately wanted to forget._

_Mikey kept watching, unable to take his eyes off of the scene in front of him, when suddenly he wished he turned away when he had the chance, for he saw a sight that he was tried to eliminate from his mind for the past few days._

_There were his brothers, arguing after that horribly gone wrong mission. Next, it showed his brothers talking about how they knew Mikey couldn't make it, and then showing Mikey trying harder, but never feeling good enough. Every terrible event that had happened the past few days showed, and the images started changing more rapidly than before, when suddenly it stopped. Mikey was surrounded from the darkness he thought he had eliminated just a few moments ago. That was, until a silver form started shimmering, until it completely formed, and Mikey gasped at who stood before him. Oruko Saki._

_Hadn't Mikey suffered enough from the hands of this horrible man, or should he say, monster. Hadn't he been traumatized to the maximum already? Or was the world so cruel, that it decided he hadn't gone through enough?_

_"__Why hello, puny turtle." The Shredder sneered._

_Taking a deep breath, Mikey said in a neutral voice. "Why are you here Shredder? I'm really getting tired of you. Leave, now."_

_"__My, isn't someone filled with confidence today. You see, I would be more than happy to oblige to your command, but sadly I cannot." Saki said with pretend pity. "Because, it is not possible for one to leave a place that truly doesn't exist."_

_'__Doesn't truly exist, what does he mean? You can't be in a place that truly doesn't exist. That makes no sense. Oh, if only Donnie was here. He would know what it meant. Mikey was so tempted to ask these questions, but he wasn't about to give Shredder the satisfaction of confusion._

_"__What do you want Shredder? I have no time for your mind games." Mikey said. Wow, it sounded like he were Leo at this moment. That was something new._

_"__What do you mean you don't have time? As I said once, I repeat again, this place doesn't exist. And in a place that isn't real, there is no time. Time doesn't matter now, unlike in the real world." Shredder stated, an amused look in his eyes, searching to see if Mikey was perturbed yet._

_"__You are stalling Shredder. What is the real reason you came here?" Mikey asked, his voice surprisingly calm. Of course, most of the time, the way your voice sounds doesn't mean that is how you feel. Never had that been more true, for in this case, Mikey felt the exact opposite from what he was sounding. But some how and some way, he was able to keep his composure._

_"__Ah. So you are not as dumb as you act. Very well turtle, I am here to give, you a warning."_

_"__What type pf warning?" Mikey asked with caution. He knew that Shredder wouldn't be here to have a tea party, but to warn his enemy, that was not what he expected._

_"__You see Michelangelo, I have something huge planned. Do you remember me new two recruits, Obsidian Black and Morgan Willow? I told you they had hacked into your systems, which you denied to believe. Well, not only have my new brilliant scientist come up with a way to hack into your system, they have found a way to hack into your mind."_

_"__Hack into my mind! But-that's-how…You can't to do that! How's that's possible!"_

_"__Oh yes I can Michelangelo. And it's perfectly possible, but I'll spare you the details. I have something huge planned, something that will make the human race mines!" Shredder roared._

_Building up some courage, something in Mikey clicked. "There is one flaw in your plan Shredder. I already know it, you told me last time I saw you in my…er...nightmares, mind, wherever it was. The point is, once I get out of here, I could warn my family."_

_"__That is where you went wrong turtle. Do you think I was really stupid enough to tell you my whole plan? What I told was a measly piece of the puzzle. Really nothing to what I really got planned." Shredder taunted._

_"__Then what are you up too Shredder? If not hacking into my father's mind and taking control of him isn't your plan, then what is?" Mikey questioned, but he knew there was a high chance he wouldn't get an answer._

_"__I am not here to tell you my master plan Michelangelo. I repeat for the last time, I have come to give you a warning. Your time is almost up, now that I have control of your mind, I can keep you trapped in it. Basically, you will be physically dead, but trapped in the horrors I will create in your mind. So say goodbye to your brothers, for it is the last time you will ever see them. And if you dare tell any of your family, especially the annoying know-it-all Donatello, I will come for them next. Understand?"_

_Mikey just stood there, speechless. So to sum it up, Shredder has a menacing plan that no one but him knows about, he had been deceived of Shredder's plan the whole time, and was being told in his face that he would die soon. Great, just great._

_"__I said, understand?" Oruko Saki growled._

_This was such a difficult choice. Tell his brothers so he might be saved and live happily ever after, just to have Shredder take over their mind, or keep his mouth shut, not tell his brothers he knew his life was going to end, and never get to see his family again. What the shell was he going to do? But then, little by little the answer started to become clearer. His brothers wanted for him to change, which turned out instead of succeeding, he instead hurt them. They said they wanted another brother. Well, he may not be able to make that happen, but he could get rid of one brother for the. Himself. Plus, they would be safe for the time being. Sure, he knew Shredder would take control over their mind sooner or later, he wasn't stupid. But maybe it would give them enough time to realize what was happening. Mikey wasn't sure how they would figure that out, but with him out of the way, they could figure it out._

_Yes, it was all coming to him now. It was time to stop caring for his life, quit being selfish, and look out for his brothers. Grant the wish they tried to hide from him until that awful night._

_Looking Shredder in the eye, he said, "Understood."_

_"__Very well, looks like our time for a chat is done Michelangelo." And Shredder started to dissolve. This time, Mikey wasn't scared or surprised. For an odd reason, he was at peace. Maye it was because this had somewhat happened before, or maybe the feeling as if he finally did something right. Yes, this one wish he would grant for his brothers would make up for all the mistakes he had made._

_A blinding light rushed towards Mikey, and he knew that was going into consciousness. This was it, the last time he would ever wake up. The last time he would be greeted to see his brothers' face. Because he would die tonight, he knew his fate was sealed. Shredder's words rung through his head. "Say goodbye to your brothers, for it will be the last time you see them." Whether he was ready or not, this was the last day with his family. 'Here goes nothing.' Mikey thought, and he woke up._

**Donnie's Pov**

He had finally finished hooking Mikey up onto all the machines, and he was absolutely exhausted. Deciding what harm would it be to take a five second rest, he slumped to the floor, and listened to the machine he had just hooked up on his youngest brother.

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

Ah, the only sound that reassured his that Mikey was alive. Not o.k., but at least alive. He had finished the difficult surgery, and while he was at it, probably scarred his true love's (aka April) eyes forever. The surgery had taken hours, and had left them worn out. So he sent April home, promising that he would call her if anything happened. Leo and Raph were still in the living room, doing who knows what. Leaving Donnie with unconscious brother. Donnie was sorta glad to be alone, he needed to organize his thoughts.

_No, you're not alone. Don't think like that. Mikey is right there in the bed, a few feet in front of you. Don't treat him as if he were...dead…he is right there. Right here! So why do I feel like he's not. _

Then Don finally realized why it was so weird. Mikey was usually up and about, bugging him to get out of the lab and hang out with the family. Or ruining his experiments. He was always was running around, cheerful as one could be, with a light in his eyes that could never be put out. There was always a joyful atmosphere. But now, it was dull and quiet. He had always wished for some silence, but now Don realized he could actually concentrate better with noise. The loudness in the lair was comforting, assuring him that his brothers were alright. But the silence was mocking him, reminding him that everything was wrong. Basically, everything was the exact opposite that it should be.

Donnie's thoughts were interrupted as a soft groan. _Mikey was awake! _He thought frantically, pulling himself to his feet. For a second, but it felt as it was an hour, he debated whether or not he should call the guys. And he would. Just not yet, he needed to talk to Mikey. They were the closest as kids, and there were a few questions he wanted to ask, _alone._

Running towards the bed, he kneeled down to Mikey's level. "Hey Mikey. Glad you woke up when you were suppose too this time."

Mikey cracked a small smile, and slurred, "Me too." Good, his speech was better than when he first woke up. Taking a closer look at Mikey, he saw despite the smile, Mikey had a sad look in his eyes, but Don shook it off. No one would be particularly happy if they went what Mikey had gone through.

"Mikey, do you feel any better?" Don asked, wondering if the surgery and pain meds had helped at all.

"Depends. What's your definition of better? Cause if you mean having a throbbing headache, feeling nauseas, and being sore from head to toe is better, then I feel like a prefect ten!" Mikey joked, mustering up all the enthusiasm he could. Wow, Mikey was really something! Even after a fight to the death, he still found the energy to joke around.

"You know what I mean." Don said, returning a smile.

"Well, I don't feel like I got ran over by a train fifteen times. Only like I have been an over by a massive truck ten times. Which is better than before!"

"So in real language, you still feel horrible, but just a slight bit better." He translated, getting a shaky thumbs up from Mikey.

"Alright, Mikey. I just need to do a quick check up, and I'll call the other guys." Don decided, grabbing a flashlight from his desk.

"Alright Mikey, open your eyes really wide." Don commanded, and Mikey obliged. Shining the flashlight into his baby blue pupils, and saw they didn't react to the light. Knowing that the surgery may take a few days to help the brain recover, he wasn't surprised.

Doing the rest of the basic procedures, such a checking his heart rate and replacing the bandages, he and Mikey just waited there in uncomfortable silence. After a few moments, Mikey finally spoke.

"So, D. You gonna call the other guys, or keep me captive here?"

"Actually Mikey, I need to talk to you first." He said.

"And can't you say it front of Sensei and the other guys?" Mikey asked, obviously nervous. Yep, he was definitely hiding something.

"No I cannot. Now Mikey, I know you don't want to talk about it, but why did you punch Raph? Not that it caused any damage or anything." He quickly added. "I just want to know."

Mikey didn't answer right away, as if he were thinking of some excuse. Finally he said. "Donnie, I'm really tired and not in the mood. Can we talk about this some other time, like tomorrow or something?" And he ended the conversation.

How badly did Donnie want to continue the argument, and he could see that Mikey wasn't going to tell him why anytime soon. So Donnie made a decision.

"Fine, but tomorrow we talk about it, no exceptions. I'm sorry, but we need to know."

To his surprise, Mikey seemed pleased with his answer. Don had expected him to roll his eyes, or huff in response, but Mikey seemed perfectly content. That was odd, but if Mikey wasn't going to fight back, better for him. Not that Mikey could do much in the state he was in anyways.

"Alright, I'm going to call Splinter and our brothers in." Don said, heading out of the room. Before heading out though, he turned his head around and said, "Mikey, you can tell us anything. We won't be mad no matter what happened or what was going through your head."

Don tried searching Mikey's face for any expression that might give him an answer, but his face gave away nothing. Giving a sift sigh, he went to go get the others.

**Leo's Pov**

He could still not get over the fact that Raph had let his tough guy act drop, just to comfort him. When Leo sat on the sofa, he was planning on being there for Raph. But somehow, the situation took a turn, and it ended up being the other way around. Leo had always tried so hard to keep his true emotions in, because he had always told himself that if he were to be leader, he had to be strong for everyone. Not only that, but he was scared that of his brothers saw how he was really feeling, they might think he was weak, or that he was not qualified to handle the role of being leader. But a few hours ago, Leo just didn't have the strength nor energy to keep it in. And even though he was terrified how Raph may react when he saw the true Leo, he just couldn't keep the tears from flowing. But, Raph didn't act the way he thought he would. Instead of being teased and being called a baby, Raph hugged him and comforted them. Raph was there for him when he needed him the most, and he realized that Leo was the luckiest turtle alive to have a brother like him.

All of a sudden, Leo heard a door open, and Don walked out of the infirmary, with confusion and sadness written on his face. Seeing the sullen look, Leo and Raph both jumped to their feet.

"What's wrong Donnie, did-" He started, but was cut off when Donnie brought his hand up, singling silence. "He's fine, well as fine as he could be. But I tried talking to him, trying to find…answers, but he won't tell me anything. He said he will tell me tomorrow, but I just have a bad feeling." Donnie explained. "But he wants to see you." And Donnie led them inside.

Quietly walking into the infirmary, he saw Mikey looking at them with wide and eager eyes, studying them intently.

"Hey buddy. Glad to see you're awake." Leo said.

"Yeah, dreams and darkness get a bit boring after a few hours, so I decided I might as well." Mikey joked.

Seeing that Mikey was fine, he relaxed a bit and sat in the wooden chair next to Mikey's bed. Seeing Raph lingering by the door way, he tried to make eye contact, but Raph refused. Apparently Mikey noticed too, because Mikey called Raph over.

"Raph, you could come a bit closer you know? I mean, I know you think I'm disgusting and covered with germs, but it's not like I'm gonna get you infected or anything."

Leo saw relief flooded through Raph's features, as if he was glad Mikey wasn't mad at him. But why would he be scared that Mikey would be angry at him? Whatever the case, Raph smirked, and walked to stand next to Mikey.

"Don, what time is it?" Mikey asked, with a tiny hint of worry and eagerness hidden in his voice. Getting odd looks by his brothers, he exclaimed as dramatic as he could, "What! So just cause I'm on bed rest, I don't have the right to know when it's dinner?!"

"Leaning towards Donnie, Leo asked. "Was that medicine you gave him suppose too make him feel this better? Not that I'm not glad, but, you know. Is it?"

"I have no idea. But that doesn't matter. As long as he is happy, he'll make a better recovery." Don whispered back.

Turning his attention back to Mikey, Raph answered "11:30. Almost mignight."

"Am or Pm?" Mikey questioned.

"I don't know. The night skies and moon out just doesn't give it way." Raph said sarcastically. "_Almost midnight._ Pm, squirt. What do you think?" He asked playfully.

"Wow, I was out longer than I thought." Mikey stated. Leo thought he heard Mikey mumble something under his breath, something like "I'm running out of time." But he shook it off as his mind playing tricks on him. This wasn't the first time worry got the best of him.

"Well, then, before I go back to my beauty sleep, there is something I need to tell you guys." Mikey said, his face turning from happy, to dreading and serious.

Why did Leo suddenly have a bad feeling?

**Raph's Pov**

"Um…ok. What do you have to tell us?" Raph asked. Why did he have a dreading feeling in his gut now? It just came out of the blue, and Raph couldn't just shake it off.

"I'm sorry." Mikey finally said.

Wow, that was random and out of the blue. How did they go from joking to the time, to apologizing? He was so confused.

"Sorry for not knowing the time?" Raph questioned slowly.

"No. You know what I mean." Mikey replied. But the thing was, Raph didn't. This was just so weird, why was Mikey saying this? Did the medicine cause him to be woozy or something?

"No, Mikey. I really don't." Raph tried again.

"Raph."Leo said, catching his attention. Giving a wave to Raph and Donnie, Leo motioned them forward.

"Raph, I think he is apologizing for punching you earlier." Leo explained. Realization dawned through Raph. He still didn't know why Mikey did that, but honestly, it was just a minor bruise and a bit of shock. Nodding to indicate that he understood, the three brothers headed back towards Mikey.

"You mean about punching me earlier? It's alright, I already forgave you for that." Raph said, not sure how he should direct the problem.

"It's more than that." Mikey said, with now tears quickly budding up in his eyes, but Mikey wiped them quickly, and turned his body left, to face Donnie.

"Donnie. I may never say this again, so I want you to know, I'm sorry. For making you work endless hours to fix my mistakes. Every time I got hurt, you would always take care of me, even when you were low on supplies, and patience. I'm sorry for annoying you to countless ends, every time I said something stupid, you would still attempt to explain it to me, no matter how much I got on your nerves. And I'm sorry for when I ruined your experiments, I know how hard you worked on them. I and so thankful that I had you to talk to when our brothers got into fights, most of the times you heard me out, let me share my side of the story. And I love you. Just promise me that you will spend more time with the family, don't cope yourself up in the lab all the time. Please eat and drink, and sleep when you need to. You are not going to get anything done when all your focus is in attempt to keep awake. And don't be afraid to make mistakes, you'll learn from them, k? Oh, and one more thing. I know you'll have luck with April, don't give up on her. She is an amazing girl, you're a fantastic turtle, you'll make it work.

"Mikey what are you-" Don said worriedly, but Mikey silences him by facing forward, looking at Leo.

"Leo, where do I start, you were not only a phenomenal leader, but a brother too. You always knew what to do in situations, and were able to keep your head. You were there to guide me when I had no clue what to do, always there to give me advice. You kept giving me more chances, even though I messed up a lot. You knew the consequences, but you always let me come along. Most of the time, you were the only one with common sense, you taught me how to draw the line between fun, and just plain dangerous. Whenever I needed to be calmed down or just relax, I knew exactly who to go to. Plus, when I felt like annoying someone out of the heck of it, I knew you were the least one to try to kill me on the spot. But Leo, relax sometimes, it's ok to break the rules and have fun. Sometimes don't act like a leader or ninja, act like a teenager, and enjoy the few years you have left."

"Michelangelo why are you saying-" But once more, he shushed him.

Suddenly the machine started beeping a little quicker.

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

"Hold that thought!" Donnie said quickly, and rushed towards the machine. He tried pressing different buttons, changing the settings that gave Mikey the different medications, but nothing was happening. It was as if someone or something were preventing him from making Mikey healing process.

"No! No! No!" Donnie shouted. Mikey, did you know something would go wrong? What the shell? Why isn't anything working!" Donnie's screams echoed through the lair.

"Donnie." Mikey said softly. "Please, I'm not done. One final request.

"Michelangelo Hamato, you are not saying what I think you are saying! Stop this right now, I have to fix the machine, something is wrong!" Don shouted.

"Don, nothing is wrong with the machine. Please, try to fix it, but give me two more minutes." Mikey begged.

"Mikey!" Donatello began to threaten.

"Please! At least listen to me. If you really care you will listen! I know what is happening, but I have something to say!" Mikey exclaimed, and the room fell silent except for the rapid bating the heart monitor was showing, and Donnie desperately pressing buttons and working on the settings and medicine.

Before Don could protest again, Mikey faced Raph.

"Raph, I don't even know what to say. All these years you have been my protector, chasing all the monsters away. You gave me that extra boost of confidence I always needed, and were there to root me on. Even if you did show it in different ways. I always have looked up to you Raph, you have been my hero for who knows how long. I have always loved you, no matter how many times you have called me names, hit me, tease me. Please try to keep your anger under control, it may lead to consequences you don't want to face. And I'm sorry I couldn't be the brother you always wanted, but I can do the second best thing.

_(Flashback)_

_"__Well maybe sometimes I wish you weren't my brother!_

_So I wouldn't have to put up with you! _

_To get some peace and quiet for just one friggin day!_

_To get some help in a battle other than you just shouting insults! Is that too much to ask? _

_For a brother__ like __that once and a while!"_

_(End flashback)_

Mikey said he was going to do the best second thing. Mikey somehow, some way knows he is going to die, and he is just going to accept it? Why? Sure Mikey could be an idiot sometimes, but this was taking it too far! Why, why? Why, would he think that?

_Because that is what you basically said._ A voice in his head said back.

"Mikey, that's not what-" But of the third time in the past dreadful twenty nine minutes, he silences him.

"Please guys, I'm running out of time. Please know I love you all, and I hope this will repay you guys for every mistake I made, every prank I played. I was stupid, I know that now. I just didn't think I would need such a big wake up call, but now I know. You won't have to deal with me again.

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

"Mikey! No!" Raph shouted. "Stop this right now!"

Donnie was furiously trying to fix Mikey's condition, but nothing was working. He had tears shining his eyes, sweat beading down his head.

"Michelangelo Hamato, stop it this instance!"

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

"Goodbye guys. I hope you're happy. And Raph, congratulations. I hope your wish came true."

_Bbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppppppppp._


	11. Chapter 11: Gone

**Hey my wonderful, patient readers! Guess who got a new laptop and can now update regularly without having to borrow someone's computer? Not me! Sadly, my laptop still won't work, and I am typing on a laptop that takes 5 hours to work! Not to mention everything on my USB flashdrive got erased, so when I DID have this chapter written, it got erased. Yay, aren't I the luckiest girl ever when it comes to computers? Now enough of this A/N and onto the story!**

_Donnie's Pov_

_No! No! No! I'm going to fix this, I can save my brother. Come on Donnie, you are the doctor in this family, the life-saver. I can do this! _

And then, the machine made a piercing sound, _bbbbbeeeeeeeeepppppp._ And those thoughts demolished, because the machine had just proven his thoughts wrong. In fact, it proven that his whole purpose in his family as the doctor and smart one, had also been wrong.

Suddenly, a scream of anger came from his brother.

"NO! MICHEANGELO, WAKE UP! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! STOP THIS SICK JOKE, IT ISN'T FUUNY MICHELANGELO!" Raph shouted in rage, pleading his youngest brother to come back to life. Trying to convince himself that this event had not happened, not accepting this horrible misfortune. But, not answering Raph's pleas, Mikey remained lifeless. He didn't jerk up, saying it was a joke and apologizing for taking it too far. He didn't flash one of his cheesy smiles, or bug Raph on how he sensed that he was about to show his soft side. No, he did the exact opposite the real, living Mikey would do. The only thing that looked like Mikey was the small grin on his face, the one he was wearing when he said his last sentence, his last goodbye.

"Mikey…please." Raph whispered, falling to his knees. "Please." Raphael attempted one last time, only to get mocking silence in return. And Raph did a surprising thing. Instead of throwing fists of rage to the wall, or shouting at Leo and him, big, salty tears started to roll down Raph's face.

"No. This isn't possible. Please, bro, come back." Raph said quietly in between sobs, grasping Mikey's hand as tough there was some sort of lifeline in there.

"Raph, it's going to be-" Leo started, but stopped mid sentence as tears also started to roll down his cheeks, and few to the floor. Sobs wracked through his Leo's body, and his shoulders were shaking violently. And that's when the full reality of this problem hit Donnie. Raph dropped his tough act, Leo couldn't be the 'Fearless Leader,' ready to help his brothers get through any sort of predicament. He couldn't fix this dilemma, couldn't think of any solution. And Mikey was, well Mikey was gone. It was over, all over. This could be the end of it all, their light was gone, and there was nothing they could do about it. There was no hope.

He had nothing to say, there was no words, no sentence he could say, to express his pain, his sorrow. There was _nothing _he could do And just like his other brother, he sobbed. Sobbed for their lost, sobbed for his failure, sobbed for the world. He cried for everything that wasn't right in their lives, wailed for his dear brother who was now lost in time, Michelangelo Hamato. Michelangelo, their light, their stress reliever, their hope in the darkest hour. Michelangelo, their guardian angel.

The three hopeless brothers gathered around Mikey's bed, weeping next to him. And this went on for hours, until the sun came up. But the sun wasn't bright, instead, it seemed like the cruelest thing that could happen in this situation. The sun was just a reminder how for everyone else, it was a new day, with renewed hope. It showed happiness, joy. And that was just _wrong_ and _heartless._ Because in their case, this showed the first day they would have to go through without their precious, baby brother.

**Splinter's Pov**

_Fire. Fire blazed everywhere, devouring whatever came in its path. The flames were deadly, like an animal stalking their prey. Suffocating him, causing panic to erupt in his chest. For when he squinted through the flames, he saw his beloved wife, Tang Shen, laying on the floor, motionless. _

_"__NO!" He shouted as he hugged his beautiful loved one, stroking her smooth straight hair, begging her to come back._

_"__Saki!" He bellowed in rage, for the one who had ended his dearest's life. Getting no reply, he saw his enemy, which at the moment, no longer thought as his brother, ran off, seeming to have something in his hand._

_'__Wait a minute, where was the baby? Where was Miwa? No, no, no! Was she gone? No she couldn't b4 gone. But there was no sight of her. She was indeed gone. The two things that made his life complete were gone, he was alone. He had no family._

_"__Miwa!"_

Splinter woke up jolt, shaking from the horrible, vivid nightmare that he seemed to suffer from every night. Taking deep breathes, he tried to get his breathing under control.

_Calm yourself Yoshi. It was just a dream. This happened in the past, it is gone, there is nothing to get worked up about._ He told himself. Nevertheless, he found the desperate need to go check on his sons. Rising from his resting place, he made his way toward the infirmary, where he predicted all his sons were.

Walking towards the doorway, he called, "Donatello, Raphael, Leonardo, Michelangelo, I am coming in." Just in case his sons were in an important procedure, he did not wish to startle them. After giving them a warning, he stepped into the room, and he felt his heart skip a beat. His three oldest sons, Leonardo, Donatello, and Raphael had tear-stricken faces, and they looked depressed. He brought his stare up to the bed that his sons were mourning around, and saw his youngest son Michelangelo. His chest was not moving, and he was as pale as snow. It was as if when his goofy, cheerful face that brought color to the world was gone, his son's color was gone too. It was as if his liveliness was a part of him, but was now long gone. The only thing that remained was a faint smile, who Michelangelo was able to smile while passing away, that would be a mystery.

"Michelangelo." He croaked, his chestnut eyes filling up with tears. No, this could not happen again. Not after losing Tang Shen, and having his only daughter being raised by his arch nemesis. No, this was too much, even for the strong rat he was.

"Father?" Leo said, as his three others sons looked up to him. _ Of course. Who could understand the emotional pain the three brothers were going through._

"My sons." He replied, walking towards them, and pulled them into a tight embrace. He felt hot moisture fall onto his fur, but it didn't matter. Tears fell down his own eyes, and he hugged his sons even harder. He held onto his sons for dear life, because they were the only family he had left. _They _were all that everyone had left.

No words were said as the family hugged one another, they just sat together in silence, trying to offer as much comfort as they could to one another. They all stared wistfully as their youngest brother and son, wishing, that there was some way, this wasn't real.

_? Pov_

_A dark void surrounded him. His body flared with pain, everything hurt. It felt as if a dozen knife were piercing him, and his throat felt constricted, and he felt himself suffocating._

_"__The nightmare has begun…Michelangelo."_

**What do you think? Evil enough to make up for my absence? Trust me, I will try so hard to update, but it is getting harder to find people to ask. Hopefully, I'll get my laptop fixed soon! Oh, and I apologize for this short chapter. Really, even though it was short, it was essential to this story. See ya!**


	12. Chapter 12: Horrors begin

**Ugh, these updates are coming so slow, it seems like every chapter I have to apologize! I'm debating whether to just drop this story until I get a new laptop, or just continue with these updates that take forever! What do you think, just leave your answer in the review or pm me please! And make it an honest response, I don't want you guys to lie just because you don't want me to feel bad for slow updating, so thanks!**

_"The nightmare has just begun…Michelangelo." The words rug in his ears, leaving a piercing ringing sound in them. Who was there? Was he dead, or just dreaming? Racking his brain, trying to clear his foggy mind, pieces of the puzzle he had to build in his mind started coming together._

_He started to recall the conversation he had with Shredder. And a dreading feeling washed over him as he replayed the words to himself. "Basically, you will be physically dead, but trapped in the horrors I will create in your mind. Your time will be up by the end of tonight."_

_The horrors in his mind…did that mean his time was up? And what did that mean, there was no monsters anywhere to be seen. In fact, there was nothing to be seen. 'So wait, does that mean I'm still alive since there are no horrors? Maybe I'm just asleep, I just have to wake up. Yeah, sure, let's try to wake up!' Mikey thought to himself, with new bound hope, feeling stupid he would ever fall for Shredder's stupid taunt. 'Stuck in my mind, sure.' He thought, as he softly pinched his skin, expecting to wake up to the blurry figures to his brothers. To his dismay, and confusion, he stood in the same place. Squeezing his skin a bit harder, he still found darkness around him, just as before._

_"Alright, real funny dreams. Now that's enough, you can cut it out." Mikey chuckled nervously, calling out to the open. Finding himself in the same position, his heart rate began to beat faster and faster, gaining speed and tempo each second. 'Okay, seriously freaking out here.' Mikey thought, when an idea came to him. He really didn't want to do it, if he was wrong, it would hurt a ton. But, he couldn't be wrong, that talk with the Shredder was just to scare him, and it couldn't hurt in a nightmare, right? So, reaching for his belt, he felt for his nunchaku, feeling it wasn't there. In fact, he had none of his weapons. _

_'Guess I'll have to do it the old fashioned way' Mikey told himself, bringing his fist up. He would punch himself in the gut, really hard, and he would wake up, and the pain would fade into the dream. Therefore, he would only feel the pain in his stomach for a second, the time it would take him to wake up. So, without further hesitation, he punched himself with all the strength he could muster, determined to awaken._

_Pain coursed through his gut, Mikey hadn't realized how much force he put in the punch. _

_One second…_

_Two seconds…_

_Three seconds…_

_Why wasn't he waking up, why did he still feel the pain? Usually, when he had physical pain in his dreams, he would wake up right away, realizing the pain had only been in his mind._

_Wait…his mind. That couldn't mean…no. He was being paranoid, that was impossible, you can't be trapped in your mind._

_Bringing his fist up once more, a voice cut through the silence, like a knife._

_"No, Michelangelo, stop this instance. You know the truth, there is no point in causing pain for yourself, that is my job. You know plain and well what has happened. Your time is up."_

_'No, no, no, no. This is impossible, even for an opened mind person like myself. You cannot, under any circumstances, hack into a person's mind.' Mikey thought frantically._

_"That's not true! This is just a nightmare!" Mikey replied._

_"Alright then, answer me this Michelangelo. If this s a nightmare, what do you see? You can't see anything, just pure darkness. Does this seem like a nightmare to you? And if it is a nightmare, why haven' you woken up yet, explain me that. Deep down, Michelangelo, you know what has happened, and hurry up and accept it, don't think I'm giving you any more time to be able to."_

_"It's-but-how." Mikey stuttered, not knowing what to say, not having anything to say. So, this was real? It seemed so much easier to accept back then, in the last moments. He felt like it was the right thing to do, the right path. Now he wasn't too sure. This was actually happening, no matter how hard he thought, he couldn't think of another way. There was no possible way to deny it._

_As if reading his thoughts, the Shredder laughed with satisfaction. "I told you puny turtle. I follow through with my threats, anyone who believes otherwise is stupid. Though, coming from you, I can't say I'm surprised you don't know your greatest enemy that well. Never really did pay attention._

_'Ha. You can't hurt me with those insults, Shred-head. Everyone has used them in the past week, I' already know I'm stupid, you can't hurt me with that, especially when it's coming from you.' Mikey thought, brushing Shredder's words aside._

_"Really, Shredder? That's the best you got? Come on, where are the horrors, or is that all you have planned to use against me." Mikey sneered._

_"What Michelangelo? You mean, you don't see it? It's all around us, every monster is surrounding you." Shredder said._

_'What? There wasn't anything around us, just pure darkness. Now that I think about it, I can't really see Shred-head Just hear him, weird.' Mikey thought, strangely to himself._

_"There is nothing around us you Tin-can. I mean, do you have any brain under that helmet of yours, or do we have to go find one for you?" Mikey teased._

_"What, Michelangelo? I am shocked, you do not see what I do? Too bad, guess my fun with you is going to be over before it started. Here it comes." Shredder said._

_"There is nothing there!" He shouted, exasperated, Shredder was really starting to confuse him…and scare him…for some strange reason. He couldn't locate the source of fear, but nevertheless he started to panic. His hands became clammy, and his heart race quicken, ten times worse than when he first arrived here._

_"What's the matter Michelangelo? Scared much? I thought there were no horrors." Shredder taunted._

_"What are you doing to my mind, stop making me feel fear for no reason!" Mikey yelled._

_"You pathetic, idiotic turtle. Even controlling your mind comes with limitations. I can make you see things, sense objects and actions that are not really there, but I cannot control emotions. No matter how hard the smartest scientist works, one can never control emotions. Each and every being control their own emotions, no one else can force you to feel something that isn't there. Therefore, you are feeling the fear because of you, nothing more." Shredder explained, and Mikey could have sworn he had a sly grin on his face if he could see._

_Having no words, he felt the fear racing in his veins. Building up, making him want to curl up in a ball, call out for help, but he had no idea why. And that was the worst part. At least if you knew what you are afraid of, you could attempt to keep your fear at bay. But when you have no idea what you are afraid of, you can't control it. And not being able to do that caused him to panic even more. He didn't understand it, how could he be frightened by nothing?_

_"Shredder, at least answer me this. What exactly is your horror?" Mikey pleaded, desperate to find out._

_"Very well. My horror, is nothing." Oroku Saki replied bluntly._

_"But…why am I afraid? No one can be afraid of nothing! That doesn't make sense!" Mikey exclaimed._

_"On the other hand, you would be surprised, you, along with others, are deeply afraid of nothing. People like you need something to reassure them, to know something is there. They need to know there is something in the world, whether it be good or bad." Shredder explained._

_"I-I don't understand." Mikey cried out._

_"Alright, let's see. You hate being alone, do you not? So you need something to see, something to assure you that no matter what, you are not by yourself. Whether it may be a lamppost, a street, a person, no matter what, you at least know there is something in your world. You need to see something, or else you feel all hope is lost. You need your world, need to know you can still see things, that there is something out there. Or else fear consumes you. For example, let's say you are drowning. At least you know what is happening, you know if your life is going to continue, or end. But let's say you can't see, all you feel is yourself suffocating. And you don't know why, you can't see that you're drowning. You have no idea why the oxygen is leaving you, and you don't know the situation, therefore not knowing at least a bit of the outcome. You have no idea if you're going to live or die, simply because you can't see what is happening. And after searching your mind, that is a deep fear, that no one but you knows about, until now." Shredder said._

_Mikey had no words, no way to respond to this situation. He didn't realize this fear until now. All this time, he thought his worse fear was seeing his brothers hate him, which had come true. He couldn't imagine a worse possible scenario, until now. He had looked at his brother's body features while they talked to him. He could see it in their eyes, in their movements, that's how he could always tell emotions so well. But if he couldn't see the way his brothers moved, that would be worse. It was hard to tell just by their voice what they meant, because he had always relied on sight. But, if he couldn't see them, he couldn't tell if they meant what they said or not. His brain would be competing whether or not his brothers loved him, and he would always be wondering if what his brothers said was true. He wouldn't be able to ever trust them. Just because he couldn't see them._

_"No...Please, no! You can't do that Shredder, you can't!_

_"Yes I can, Michelangelo. Therefore, your horror number one…is blindness. Shredder sneered, and then, there was silence._

**Splinter's Pov**

Our family has been lying together throughout the whole night, unable to get any rest, trying to get as much comfort as we can from one another. We all stare sadly at the deceased body of our beloved Michelangelo, and I know there is no more hope for this family. It was like we were a small room and Michelangelo was the lightbulb. Not in smart wise, but light wise. Once the power went out, the room slowly began to get cold, and the room slowly fades away, becoming an old, dusty closest in a mansion. Michelangelo was the light, we were the room, and the mansion was our world. And as much as I never admit defeat, I know it is over for us, no matter how strong we are, we cannot continue anymore.

I know all we have is one another now, and we must stay with one another. But it saddens yet surprises me that just because there is no lightbulb, there is no room. There will still be food, but without light food will rotten. There will still be beds, but there will be no light to warm up our blankets when it is cold. I never thought much of our light, but now I glance up at the lightbulb dangling from the fan, which is hanging from the roof which much interest and gratefulness.

Knowing that they couldn't stay lying on the floor forever, he rose from the floor, dragging his sons up with him.

"My sons, I know it is painful, but we must unplug the machines, they cannot stay on forever, and waiting is not going to make it hurt less." Splinter explained and he and his sons looked expectedly at Donatello, for he was the only one who knew how to work such a contraption such as this.

Eyes still budding with tears, he trudged to the heart monitor, with Raphael and Leonardo standing side by side with him, understanding how hard it must be to be the one to turn of the machines, the only thing that had kept their brother alive. Donatello would feel like he is the final one giving up on Michelangelo, and I am glad his brothers are there to support him.

With his finger hesitating, Donatello slowly brings his finger to the bright red off button, tears now streaming down his face. Leonardo and Raphael are trying very hard not to let the tears flow, a struggle each and every moment.

That is when my ear starts twitching, and a feel a buzzing sensation. A dark purple aura, representing fear, came from the bed, where Michelangelo laid, unmoving. Hs spirit is frightened, and is feeling panic. Not knowing how this must be, but knowing I must act, I exclaim, "Wait a moment!" Just as Donatello was about to push the button.

"Sensei?" Leonardo asked warily, concern etched on his face.

"Do you not feel it?" I asked, hoping one of my sons might be sensing what I was.

"Feel what?" Raphael asked, all toughness sucked out his voice, now sounding broken and lost.

"Michelangelo's aura." I struggle to say, not wanting to give false hope, but knowing my sons should have every right to know what I am sensing.

Leonardo, Raphael, and Donatello look at me with perplexed but not accusing faces. They know me well enough to understand I would not joke about this, especially in this circumstance, but they still seemed as if they couldn't believe it.

After a few silent moments, Leonard finally found the ability to talk. "But Master Splinter, you said that once a person…passes away…their spirit goes along with them. Which means since Mikey is, you know, dead, he wouldn't have an aura." Leonardo said, saying what had happened to his brother with extreme difficulty, that only the strongest ones can say after such a short time after a horrible even like that occurring.

"I am as confused as you are my son, but his spirit remains. We must investigate on this, and grasp on to those so amount of hope we have. Since his spirit remains, we may venture into it, although it will be extremely difficult. But, if we can go to his spirit, then we can find out where his living source remains, if there is one." He replied.

"I will do anything to have at least a small chance of bringing Michelangelo back." Leonardo agreed immediately.

"Well…it doesn't seem much possible, but I am willing to give up logic of I can save him." Donatello slowly said, nodding his head in agreement.

All pairs of eyes turned towards Raphael.

"I don't know guys, I mean, Mikey is dead, he died right in front of us. I don't want to raise false hopes for nothing, that would hurt too much." Raphael said, sadness clouding his eyes, defeat evident in his voice.

"But Raph, what if it isn't for nothing, what if we can bring back out brother?" Leonardo pleaded, trying to convince his younger brother.

"After he passed away right in front of us, Leo? Do you really want too, are you ready for that? Because…I…I don't think I am." Raphael muttered, and it pained me to see how easily he was admitting defeat. Raphael would usually not pour out his emotions, but then again, this experience has and will change us all.

That is when Donatello grabbed Raphael's shoulders. "Raphael, listen to me. Me and Leo, we are as scared as you, but we are a family. And as a family, we will stick together, always. No matter what happens."

That surprised me, I truthfully did not expect Donatello to be the one to comfort his older brother, but it warmed my heart how they were there for one another.

Finally, Raphael gave a nod, and a determined look found its place on each brother's face.

"When do we start?" Leo asked.

"We start, _today." _

**So, what do you guys think? Honest answer please. Constructive criticism is welcome! But don't say "This is horrible." You can say, "This is horrible because blah blah blah blah." Thanks, see ya! ;)**


	13. Chapter 13: Nightmares

**Okay, so you people told me to continue despite the wait, so I have to say thanks so much! You're the most patient people I have ever seen in my life! I decided to give you an extra long chapter to show my thanks. Plus, you know when you get the moment of inspiration? Well, I was eating pancakes and randomly got one of those! I had to run to my room in the middle of breakfast to write it down.**

**I would also like to thank InsaneDutchGirl, AmericanPyscho, Athese, phoebe,gimenez.7, Zelgadis55, Bluestar-TMNT-Warriors, slings and arrows of fortune, Pistachio Lover, and PorkchopUno for your constant reviews! (Have you guys ever heard of a simple name, like Bob?) Also, thank you to those who follow/favorite/read my story. You guys are amazing, patient, and my inspiration! I would still be writing in my journal, thinking that the chance of becoming an author was just a fantasy and far away thought that would never come true if it wasn't for you!**

_Nothing. Stillness. It consumes me, tears me apart. It's not darkness, when there is darkness, you can still sense there are things that are there. There are stars, the moon, a bed, a blanket. In darkness, you can either see the outline of objects, or feel them there. So I wouldn't call it darkness, but it's not light either. It's the thin line that rarely anyone finds themselves on, nothing. It is the brief transition between darkness and light, and I have found myself standing right in the middle of this line._

_What was going on? What was happening? Was there something there that should cause hope? Should my feelings be hurt? What was going on around me? I don't know what to feel, because I don't know what was happening. The only thing that gives me reassurance that everything, including myself, wasn't completely gone was the fear coursing through my body, filling every pore, consuming every other emotion my body has._

_When Shredder said horrors, I imagined my brothers hurting me, taunting me. Maybe I wasn't as terrified as I am now because at least I would still see his brothers, in one form or the other. But I wasn't expecting this. No, this was what I was least expecting. And Shredder said this was just horror number one. But what else could Oroku Saki do if everything was already nothing? It was truly confusing. Oh, there you go. Another emotion to add to my two-item emotion list. Confusion. Goody, because that helps._

_Sitting in this void of nothingness, you have quite some time to think. So, thinking about this, I remember Shredder said I was just his test subject for his bigger plans. So once he is confirmed his machine works, what will he do to me? Will he have to stop the machine that is controlling me in order to continue his plan? If he does, what will become of me? Will I die mentally too, or will my physical body rise with me? Or maybe Shredder has another device, maybe he will keep this mind-hacking control on me. What if I am actually part of his plan, what if I am more than his guinea pig? And what even is his overall plan? To control New York, my family, or more? It is probably something even more devious, he wouldn't conduct a plan someone like me could figure out. These questions and so many more, and yet not one was an answer. But one of the biggest questions is how is Shredder even doing this, and how did he do it without anyone noticing? You just can't randomly hack into someone's mind without the person figuring out something is wrong. _

_I just don't know. What I am sure of is that there is no rescuing coming anytime soon. My heart has stopped beating, my body has stopped moving. My mind is the only thing alive. Auras come from the soul, I don't even know if that is alive. Sensei the soul is connected to your heart and mind, so would that mean half of my soul is dead, yet the other alive? Would the others still be able to sense my aura then? If they could though, they couldn't do anything about it. To travel through an aura, the soul would have to be completely alive, because the soul is a fragile thing. I just don't see how my family could do it. And I'm not even sure if they could see mu aura! Or if they would care…_

_I don't know the plan. I don't know if they are happy now. I don't know how the Shredder is controlling my mind, yet I have control over my thoughts. I don't know a lot. I also didn't know my next horror was about to come._

_But suddenly, a menacing voice booms through the nothingness. "Turtle, I am bored of hearing your confused thoughts. Time for horror number two."_

_That is the first time I know something other than me is still here since Shredder has told me I have become blind. And the message I get leaves me more confused – as if I need more of that. So Shredder can hear my thoughts. They always say the safest place to hide something is in your mind. Well, my mind isn't safe enough. I am completely exposed to the Shredder, my arch nemesis._

_"That is right turtle." Shredder snickered, answering my thoughts, even though I asked him nothing._

_I don't know what to say. I don't want him to show me his next horror, but I know there is no point in pleading him not to. It is over._

_"Michelangelo. When you heard my voice, you felt reassurance. You knew something was there, that the world wasn't all gone. I do not like that." _

_No, no, no. You are not going to do what I think you are, please don't do what I think you will._

_"So pathetic turtle, you are now deaf. You cannot hear the outside world, only your thoughts. And you'll be lucky if you can hear those too in some time." Shredder said, and then like his mind was on mute, everything was silent._

_"Hello?" I call out, and my heart skips a beat. I only felt his mouth move, I didn't hear myself. "Hello?" I try again, and once again, I don't hear anything._

_I don't hear __**anything.**__ I can't even hear silence. And yes, silence has a sound. Many people thing silence is the definition of hearing nothing, but that is not true. Silence is quiet. And quiet is not nothing. You have the comforting silence, when no words are needed but you still feel joy, you have the sad silence, when you take in everything, and have the weird silence, when no one was anything to say, and many more. Silence has many jobs in life, it is not one thing. And it is definitely not nothing. Silence sometimes carries the most meaning in the world._

_But this, this isn't silence. Now I do not only see nothing, I hear nothing. I am drifting farther and farther away. And that's when I realize it. Shredder did not make me alone by separating me from my brothers, he made me alone by separating me from my senses. And without my senses, I am separated from the world._

_I am alone._

**Leo's pov**

_Splinter, he saw it. Mikey's aura. I don't understand how, all my life I have been taught that once a soul dies, the aura dies with it. And a soul is connected to the heart and mind, and Mikey's heart stopped. So how, how?_

Sensei sees my confused look, and motions me over.

"Leonardo? Something troubles you, are you not happy we have such a wonderful opportunity that your brother is not gone?" Splinter asked.

Shocked by the question, I shake my head rapidly. "No! Not at all Sensei! I'm just wondering…How can you sense his aura? Mikey…he passed away right before our very eyes. Yet you are telling me he's alive? Does that mean his soul is alive even though he is physically dead?"

"Those are questions I cannot answer Leonardo. But I do know his aura is weakening, disappearing. And if we do not hurry, it will be gone." Splinter explained.

"Alright then, so how we gonna do this?" Raph asked, him and Donnie joining our conversation. With new bound hope, Raph sounded more like himself now. I couldn't stand to see him if we failed, I couldn't stand to see the _family_ if we failed.

"Alright, my sons. I am not going to lie to you, this will be difficult and dangerous. A body should not have an aura or soul once it is dead, yet Michelangelo does. So somehow, something in him is triggering his soul to stay alive, because there is no way an aura can stay without a soul. But this will be very unstable, I know that much. There is a source keeping the soul alive, and does not feel natural. So something might be controlling it, and if we are sensed it may break." Splinter cautioned.

"But what's the source? What's controlling him?" Raph questioned, rather impatiently.

"You are asking questions I just cannot answer. Now let me continue." Splinter sighed.

"Michelangelo's aura is black, meaning fear. In past times when we have meditated, his aura has been white, meaning innocence, safety, goodness, purity, and cleanliness. As you can see, there is a major difference, probably the two most different auras and emotions one can change from or have. Since Michelangelo is feeling a deep fear, you must too in order to better connect to Michelangelo's emotions, and be able to travel within him. I will be warning you now, it will be a terrifying experience, rocking you to the core. It will twist your reality, make you see things. You will not be able to tell or remember that this is just a vision. You will see and feel pain and hurt like it is reality. You will be filled with memories that did not really happen, remember things that did not occur. Only once you have reached the core of Michelangelo's aura will you see things normally. But consider yourself lucky, you will be together to get over your fears once you reach your destination. I do know two things, whatever is happening to Michelangelo, it must be terrifying, and he is facing it alone. So I will ask you one last time, are you sure you want to do this? And are you ready to face the fear and danger that is to come with it?"

A moment of silence hushed the room, it was evident each brother was thinking hard about their decision. And they weren't thinking if they were going to do it, or if it was worth it, of course it was. They were thinking about how the experience was going to be, and if they were strong enough to do this.

"Yes Sensei." They all answered in simultaneously.

"But one question." Donnie said. "You said, are _we_ ready for the challenge. Aren't you coming too?"

"I cannot Donatello. I planned too, but this aura is becoming less stable by the minute. It can collapse and disappear any second, so you must seize the moment. I will just be a burden to this trip and limit our time even more. There is no need to risk that. I will be here once you return. Now go the Dojo and get ready. Sit cross legged like we do when we meditate together."

"Hai Sensei." My brothers and I complied, and headed to the Dojo.

"A word, Leonardo." Splinter requested, as I was trailing after my two younger brother.

"Yes Sensei?" I ask, making my way back towards him, and looking at him in the eyes.

"I cannot stress this enough, you will have to face your worst fears, horrors you hope and pray every night you would never have to face. It will feel like reality, and will be enough to drive you insane. I am reluctant to send you on this trip, and I fear for all three of you, I fear for you like I haven't ever before. I have heard the stories from old Japanese warriors, how when you enter someone's aura who is feeling great terror, that the process is enough to break you. But you have to promise me to protect your brothers. This is about saving Michelangelo, not risking your lives. But you must be there for your brothers, they are not as strong as you, and they will need guidance, not from a leader, but as an older brother. So please Leonardo, protect your family, including yourself, on this mission."

I look down as I take this all in. That was so much responsibility to place on my shoulders, but I know my father does this because he has faith in me. And while that makes me happy to know he trusts me as much as he does, it makes this more of a nightmare. Now I know that if I fail, I won't just be letting down Mikey, but the rest of my family too. It would be game over for me. And from what Sensei told me, not only will I have to worry of not breaking myself, I have to make sure my brothers don't go insane either. How was I suppose too do this?

Splinter must have seen my expression, for he grabs my chin, and tilts me head until I am looking at him in the eyes once more.

"Leonardo, I have complete and total faith in you. And if you fail, yes, I will be devastated, but not at you. Because I know you will do everything in your power to protect your brothers, whether I had this talk with you or not. And knowing your brothers, you will not have to support yourself only. They will be there for you too because you are family. I am just saying this to you not because you are leader, being leader has nothing to do in this situation, but because you are the oldest. And being the oldest comes with responsibility unknown to the younger siblings. You have a burden my son, but I believe in you. Now come, let us go to your brothers."

As we walk to the dojo, I am numb, yet a dozen thoughts are crashing around in my brain. I feel scared, numb, energetic, and so many other feelings that you shouldn't feel at the same time. But I do. And I'm ready to be there for my brothers and conquer this. I just hope that they are too, because I can't do this alone. And I just hope that father was right, and that they will be there to support me too. Because I can't go through this alone.

"I want you to imagine your Crown Chakra, a light purple ball glowing on top of your head. This connects you to spirituality. Every time you take a breath in and out, your chakra becomes more cleanse, preparing you too travel deep into the spiritual realm. Now I would like you to picture the area in between your shoulder blade and spinal cord. This is where the basics of fear is kept. Now travel deep into that section of the body. Imagine it glowing a dark, black color. Allow your fear to travel around you, let this eternal darkness fill every pore of your body, except for where your Crown Chakra is. Feel this fear, let it consume you. You are traveling farther in the spiritual realm, and the deeper you go the more intense your fear is. _Anata no tabi ga hajimatta._

_ It's quiet. Everything around me is drowned in a midnight black color, except for six silver cages. They glow in the darkness, but the glow is blinding. It makes me want to look away, I need to get out of here. But then soft moaning voices come from the cages. I can't make them out, but I know there is something important. Taking a few cautious steps towards the cages, I realize they are not empty. There are hunched shadows, barely moving. The smell of blood swims in the air and clogs my nostrils. I feel death, but I want to stop it. So I take a few more steps forward._

_"Leooo." "Leooo." "Leooo, help us. Save us." Voices fill the air, and I recognize them in a heartbeat. My three brothers, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo. My father and Sensei, Hamato Yoshi. And two humans who I think of as family now, April O'Neil and Casey Jones. My loved ones, trapped, calling for me to save them. The only things that show is their eyes, begging for me to help them, the seemingly bright red blood that stands out in the pitch blackness, and the cages. I hate the cages, they are the only thing standing between me and my loved ones._

_I take a few more steps towards them, I'm so close. I just have to reach out my arm and I can grasp their cages. I don't know why but suddenly I feel exhausted, and everyday movements take all my strength. This tiredness hits me out of nowhere, but I know I can't quit now, not when my family needs me. Their calls and pleads for me keep me going. Their eyes have new bound hope, seeing me there. They believe that I can save them, they have faith in me, and that is exactly what I plan to do. Slowly reaching out my hand with all the energy I could muster, I am inches away from grabbing the bars of the cage. When suddenly, pain flows through my back, and I fall to my knees. Blood is flowing freely down my back, like a waterfall. I feel it puddle around me, spreading in every direction. I don't know how this happened, I was alone._

_The blood. It is everywhere. But I have to get to them! I have to save them! They believe in me, they need me. I can't give up. But I can't move, I am stuck. No, I have to move. I have to get to them. I __**need**__ to get to them._ _They need me._

_"Leo help us. Please. We cannot survive much longer." _

_'No! Please don't die! Just let me try to move. Please wait for a little longer, I'm stuck!' I try to talk to tell them this, but my mouth won't move._

_"Leo, you are out fearless leader. Please help us."_

_'I will! You guys just need to hold on for a little longer!' The ground and blood are like chains. I cannot move, no matter how hard I try. They don't know this though. I cannot tell them._

_"Leo, are you giving up? Don't you want to try and save us?"_

_'Yes I do! Please, I'm not giving up. I want to save your lives, but I'm stuck, I can't move!' They think I am giving up on them, but I'm not. If only I could move something, anything! I could tell them I'm coming, I can pry myself out of here!_

_"Leo…why don't you love us? Why don't you come and save us?"_

_'No! I do love you, I love you with all my heart! I would sacrifice me for you any day!' But all the energy is drained out of me, and my attempts to move are pointless. _

_"Leo. Our time is up. You have let us down. We thought you loved us. You told us you cared. You lied Leo, you didn't even try to come rescue us. We were wrong. You don't love us. You don't care for us. Goodbye."_

_'No! No! No! You guys, come back! I do, I love you more than anything in the world. You don't understand, I am stuck! Please…come back.'_

_But there is silence, their bodies are limp against the cages. I strain my eyes, but I don't hear a breath, nor a heartbeat. I squint my eyes, looking as hard as I can, but I don't see their chest move. _

_I have failed them. I did not try hard enough. I should have tried harder! I could have done something! But it is too late now, they are dead. Everyone I have learned to love and care for, they are gone. All because I wasn't strong enough, wasn't determined enough._

_I am a failure. And I couldn't even say my last words to them. They died thinking I didn't love them. And I am alive, but alone, knowing I could have done something. _

_It is all my fault. I will never see them again. Never hear Donnie geeking out or swooning over April. There will never be explosions coming from the lab anymore. There won't be anyone when we...I… come home from a battle to check on me and see if I have any injuries. I will never argue with Raph or fight against enemies with him when I need to blow some steam. I will never hear him beating up the punching bag and destroying the lair. I will never see his soft side when I am sick or hurt. I will never hear Mikey's joyful laughs when he pulls a prank or has fun. I will never see the glint in his eyes that tells me he did something. I won't have someone to just chill out with, to make me feel better when I think I let down everyone. No one will be there to surprise me with my favorite meals, or say something stupid just to make me feel better about myself when I am down._

_I won't hear Master Splinter advise me when I need help, never smell the scent of his burning candles when he is meditating. I will never train with him again, never hear his soothing voice that calmed me down in any situation. Even more, I won't have a father to support me in the darkest times. Technically, I am an orphan now. I won't advise Casey not to do anything stupid, or stop him from fighting bad guys that he surely cannot beat. I won't see him give me a thumbs up and walk out of the liar with Raph, letting me know he will calm my hot-headed brother down and make sure he will come home safely. I won't hear April telling us she is off to get us pizza, and I won't argue with her that it is fine and that she doesn't have to waste money on us. I won't have her to keep a level head when I feel like I am going to go crazy._

_ A bright, white light started to come to me, but I was to busy thinking about what had just occurred. Everything I look forward to life is gone, life isn't worth living. I wish I died, so I don't have to feel this pain. But more importantly, I do not deserve to live. I let my family die right in front of me. I will never be the same, I will live with guilt living me down every day, and I will be breathing, but not actually living. There is nothing to look forward to in life, no one to lean on, __**everything**__ is gone._

**Raph's pov**

_I am in the middle of a battle field, and anger courses through my body. It feels fuzzy at first, but then I remember, I came off here to blow some steam. My brothers, they pulled a prank on me a dyed my mask pink! Do they have any idea how much my mask means to me! They tried telling me it would come right off, but you still don't do that! My mask means the world to me, it represents me, has always been with me no matter what the situation! And they think it's okay to dye it? What is with that?_

_The more I think about it, the angrier I become. Every punch I throw is stronger and deflects more damage. I am fighting the foot, so it really doesn't take all the strength I am putting in to defeat them. But all I am seeing is red, I need to release my anger out somehow. _

_To some it may sound stupid, getting this mad over a mask, but that mask was my life. It carried all the memories I had when I was fighting, and now it is destroyed. I feel like if I wash it off, I wash off the memories with it._

_Over punch, roundhouse kick, stab, repeat. It's the same process over and over again, but I'm not even close to diminishing my anger._

_That's when I see three figures, and a small voice comes out from one of them._

_"Raph? We're really sorry. Please come home with us, we got something to show you." The voice sounds familiar, but it is hard to make it out with the ringing in my ears. And I feel like I have seen these figures before, but it is hard to make things out when all I can see is a raging red._

_I grunt in response, whoever it is wants me to leave these stupid gang of foot soldiers alone, but I won't. They are the only thing keeping me from not trashing the city, I have to continue what I am doing._

_Over punch, roundhouse kick, stab, repeat. Over and over again. I think of the reason I am mad, then I release my anger and take action. That is the only way to calm me down, but I'm not even close to that stage._

_I go for another punch, when I realize there are no more foot soldiers. They all lie on the floor, unmoving. But I am not satisfied, I need something to hit, I do not feel controlled. There is rage in me, and I need to take it out on something. That's when I realize, the three figures are still there. Have they been watching me this whole time? What if their a spy? No, I bet their laughing at me. Their laughing at the ninja turtle with a pink mask. Well, I'll show them who'll be laughing._

_I imagine my anger going into one big ball, and picture it going on my Sais. When I strike, I will release all my anger out by stabbing these three figures with the Sais that hold my anger._

_"Raph come-" One of them tries again, but I don't let them finish because I charge._

_"You want me to come with you? Here I am!" I scream, one Sai pointed on the one at the left, the other Sai pointed to the one at the right. I can see they didn't expect this, because they don't move, not that they have time to. They didn't have any time to process what I am doing, because my Sai plunges into their chest, the blood coming out at once in an ever going stream._

_The middle one screams my name, but I barely hear him. Anger still courses through my veins, I am still furious. Lucky for me, I can release the last bit of my anger on the middle one. The middle one is still in shock, looking at me, to his two companions. I rush towards him, not giving him time to move even if he wanted to, and gave him the same faith I gave to the other two. I send my Sai into his chest where his heart would be, and stab him multiple times._

_It felt nice, I felt good, I felt no more anger. My sight started to adjust again, the buzzing in my ears disappearing. Wanting to see my prey, I look down, in gasp in shock. They are my brothers, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Leonardo. They are lying on the floor, and only the one with the orange mask, Mikey has a shallow breath. The others are unmoving._

_I stare at them with my mouth agape, not processing what had happened. I kept telling myself, I did this, but I could not get over it, I could not believe it. I am frozen, staring at the unmoving form of my family. Then, I feel a hand place itself on mine, and I follow the hand with my eyes, up the arm, and to the face, and see it is my youngest brother. I could tell it took great strength to move, and even greater strength to stay awake._

_"Ra-Raph-Raphie. Why did y-you do th-this?" He asked, a broken look in his eyes._

_"Mikey…I didn't mean to. It was an accident! I was just so mad…and…you…maybe a spy…I needed to release anger…" I tried to say, but it was so hard to gather my thoughts and state them._

_"I'm so sorry." I finally say, unable to speak anymore._

_"It-it's al-alright Rap-Raphie. I…I deser-deserve this. The mask…" Mikey whispered, and I could tell it was getting harder and harder for him to speak._

_"What! No! Don't forgive me Mikey! Hate me, want to destroy me, do something!" I scream, but then think over what he just said._

_"No…no….no! You think you deserve this for a stupid mask! Michelangelo, don't you ever say you deserve to die over a stupid mask!_

_"I have to go now Raphie…ti-times up." Mikey muttered._

_"No! Mikey! Don't you dare do this, I can't live without any of my brothers!" I scream, but it does no good._

_"Bye Ra-Raphie. Pro-promise me you-you'll take care of your-yourself." Mikey stuttered, and then went limp._

_"Michelangelo Hamato, please! No! I beg you, wake up! Donnie! Leo! Somebody! Anybody!" I cry to the night air, only to have the wind howl back at me. Taunting me. Mocking me. I hate that wind, blowing around the smell of blood, the smell of defeat, the smell of the dead._

_And then realization hits me, the impact is much harder now that I got over the initial shock. I murdered my brothers. Not a villain, not age, but me. Raphael Hamato, brother and protector of Leonardo Hamato, Donatello Hamato, and Michelangelo Hamato, killed them. _

_There was a blinding light coming towards me, but I was too caught up in one thought to realize it. I was a murder._

**Donnie's Pov**

_Seven weeks. Seven weeks they had been in a stupid coma, but I wasn't about to give up hope. I swore on my life that I would cure them and wake them up. And I would, just like I promised them right before they fell into the seemingly, and quite possibly, never ending sleep._

_Everything in life was wrong. Casey and April became a couple, my father, or as he taught us to call him, Master Splinter, had died in a battle against the Shredder. Sure, Oruko Saki had died, but so had my dad. Today in fact, marked the anniversary since the day he died. His death weighed heavily on my mind, and I was struggling not to break down without my brothers. But, today was also the day I promised myself I would save them, seven weeks ago._

_I remembered the day the fell in a coma like it was yesterday. It started out normal, well as normal as it had been since father died. Since Shredder was gone, we didn't venture out of the lair once, but today was important, at least to April and Casey. Casey had called us, saying he planned to ask April out on her first date, and even though he knew we were still devastated by our loss, he asked if we could help out. We could hear how important this was to Casey, since his dad died, and all he had left was his little sister, we decided he needed tome hope and came to the conclusion that we would help._

_As we headed towards Casey's place, I remember wanting to do anything to go to Casey's, he was the least person I wanted to see. I would have no chance to go out with April if she said yes. But my brothers insisted, saying he was one of our closest friends and we needed to help out. What I would do to hear those pleading voices once more._

_That's when it happened. Karai. She had lost her mind, another thing that was wrong with our life. She attacked us. Over the years she had gotten stronger, and she apparently had venom we didn't know about. The venom was deadly dangerous, and no one, not even Leo, was able to snap her out of it. She bit Leo, Mikey, and Raph, and she just missed me. We were lucky that they didn't die right on the spot, but my brothers were strong. They still are, or they wouldn't have lasted as long as they have._

_Once we got to the lair, Mikey told me something was wrong. That you needed to get the medical things ready. It was a whole new Mikey, he seemed psychic or something He made me, screamed at me to set everything up. I can't remember how scared and confused I was. I didn't know what was ging on, but in the end I did it. The only thing that made me do it was the look in Mikey's eyes, plus this had happened before, when Raph got really sick. And I'm happy I did too, or else there would be no hope._

_Moments after I set up the infirmary, Leo weakly called me over. As I stepped into the lab Leo whispered please save us, and then he and my brothers slipped in a coma._

_Now, here I am, seven weeks later, about to try a cure that will decide their fate. It was extremely dangerous, could kill them, but if used correctly, I may be able to save their lives. And I am confident I will, I wouldn't spend seven weeks, almost two months, without my brothers, working on a cure if I wasn't sure I could do this._

_Grabbing the cure, I put the bubbly, dark purple liquid in a syringe, and got my brothers ready for me to insert it in them. Luckily, they can't feel pain in comas, or they would be crying for mercy. And I couldn't be able to hear their pleas, it would hurt too much._

_Inserting the needle, to each of my brothers' arms, I hold my breath. This was suppose too react in the next minute, so I watched over them for the longest sixty seconds of my life, bouncing from one foot to the other, awaiting their awaken._

_After what seemed like the most anticipated minute I have ever gone through, their eyes start to creak open. Olive green, sea blue, and baby blue pupils slowly creak open, and I want to cry from joy._

_Yes! It worked! All those seven weeks without my brothers, barely sleeping, hardly eating, living on coffee, it was worth it! Now I just needed to hear to voices, I had to make sure this wasn't a dream. If it was…well, the world is just cruel that way. It's happened many times before, but they never talked, so when I heard my name I was sure this wasn't just a dream that would taunt me when I woke up._

_"Don-Donnie?" Mikey whispered, unable to say anymore._

_"Yeah, little brother. It's me." I said, tears of joy now running down my cheeks. They were awake! They were actually awake!_

_"Don-Donnie. We miss-missed yo-you." Leo stuttered, but I didn't care, I was just happy to hear his voice after so long._

_"Yeah, I missed you too big brother." I sighed, never happier than I was now._

_"Th-thanks for sav-saving us." Raph smiled, and I grinned back, and I had a feeling it was going to take a long time to wipe this smile off my face._

_Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. The machine repeatedly beeped, each one faster than the last._

_Wait! What! No! I just saved them, probably something wrong._

_"Wh-what's hap-happening?" Mikey whimpered clutching his chest._

_"Nothing! Nothing is suppose too be happening!" I shout, unable to quiet down my voice, I am too consumed in panic to control my volume._

_Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep._

_"Donnie!" Raph shouts as loud as he could, looking worriedly at Leo and Mikey, and finally at me._

_I quickly run to the machine, trying to locate what the problem was and what was going on. I don't know what else to do, my mind has drawn a blank. I somehow feel…dumber…no that's not the word. I know I have as much knowledge as I had before, I just __**can't**__ think. My mind is clouded with emotion, and I am not allowed to have any thoughts._

_"Don y-you prom-promised you would sa-save us." Leo mutters, tears in his eyes._

_"I am! I did! I don't understand what is going on Leo!" I exclaim._

_"You lied to us." Leo whispers, before going still._

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppppppp._

_No! I want to run, do something, but my knees become jelly and give out. I crumble down to the floor, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't do this, there was no one to support me, I couldn't save their lives._

_I was the doctor, the one they all counted on in these situations, and I couldn't do this one thing. I let them down, everyone was gone, the word was messed up, and I didn't have any friends. It was over, everything as over._

_Three thoughts swirl in my head as I approach a light, but I don't see it._

_I have nothing._

_Everything else is nothing._

_I am nothing._

**Splinter's Pov**

I look sadly at my sons, their auras get darker and darker. I know they must be feeling so much pain, but they are strong, and they will pull through this.

But I know once they come back, because I refuse to believe that they will not, I must have someone to call upon to assist me. I have heard the Japanese legends of this happening, and when one awakens it is troubling.

Dialing the number, I just hope this person will be willing to help me out.

**April's Pov**

I couldn't believe Mikey was gone, he was like the brother I never had. And I know it must hurt for the actual family, but it kills me too. I will miss him so much, he was a ray of sunshine. Sure he made some mistakes along the way, but he had a kind and strong heart, and even though his brothers couldn't see nor appreciate it, he did a lot for the family.

I just cannot imagine how we are going to get through this. Casey went home a while back, stating he needed to be alone, and I don't blame him. I think we all need a little time by our self. Now that I think back on it, I feel bad for him. He was there to comfort me, the guys and Master Splinter had each other, but no one was there to comfort him. I didn't think about how he must be feeling back then, but now I feel like coming over. There is no one to support him, his family doesn't know about the turtles. And even though he doesn't show it much, I know he cares for the turtles. They are the closest thing he has to a family until he could find his dad and little sister.

I feel consumed by guilt now, how could I just let him go? I reaching for the phone to tell I'm coming over despite his protest, but suddenly the phone rings. _Ding, ding._

Sniffling, I answer the phone. "Hello?"

**_"April, is this you? Did I work this complicated machinery correctly?"_**

**"**Master Splinter! Yes, it's me!" I call out into the phone.

**_"I need you and Casey to come over to our liar immediately! I desperately need your help!"_**

"Why, what's wrong?" I ask. What could have possibly happened after this catastrophe?

**_"I will explain once you get here. I do not know how much time we have left."_**

"Alright, don't worry. I'll be right there!" I insure, and hang up the phone.

_Looks like comforting Casey will have to wait, _I think while dialing his number.

_I wonder what could have happened._ I thought when suddenly the phone clicked.

**_"Hello?"_**Casey asked. His voice is raw from crying and is filled with emotion, and a wave of guilt washes over me.

"Casey, it's April. I need you to get over here quick."

**So, what do you guys think? If it is a bit OOC, tell me, please! I really love adore the chance to improve in my writing! 7,000 words! This is officially the longest thing I have written on Fanfiction so far! I hope it was enough to fill up for the wait! Reviews make me ask random family members for computers sooner, xd. See ya!**


	14. Chapter 14: Hope and Fear

**Hey readers! Sorry for the wait, but I actually got a reason to why I'm so late! So, I wrote the next chapter for this story and my other story, right? And I did that four times, because I was never happy with it. And then when I am ****_finally_**** as satisfied as I could get, I start editing. In the middle of me editing, THE POWER GOES OUT! Everything got erased because I hadn't saved it yet! EVERYTHING! And my Microsoft Word didn't even auto save it! Does anyone know why that may have happened, I know nothing when it comes to laptops or computers, or pretty much any electronics. Then, it was test week, so I had to study and all. You guys get that, we've all been there. So yeah, but now test week is over, and I'm praying the power doesn't go out, so take five of me writing this! Action!**

**Oh, and I felt like I was disrespecting some people with this. I'm not a spoiler, but if are not comfortable not knowing if there is character death, pm me, and I'll tell you. But ****_do not_**** tell other readers, please! For those who don't like a story to be spoiled, like me, go ahead and read. I hope you like my character torture, muwhahahaha! Ahem...Does anyone have a cough drop? I don't think I'm meant for evil laughs...**

**Mikey's POV**

_ I can't hear anything, I can't even hear the silence that sometimes filled a small part of this nothingness. When I heard the silence, it didn't make it all better, but I heard something. Now, nothing. I feel my mouth moving, my throat hurting, so I'm guessing I'm trying to scream, but I am not entirely sure. Because I don't have my sight and hearing to tell me._

_I feel panic bubble in me like a volcano when it is rumbling, preparing to bursting and let out everything it has been keeping in. I try to scream again, but I see nothing. I hear nothing. There is nothing._

_I feel wetness go down my cheeks and drip onto my arms, and I think I am crying. This is when the ashes and smoke of a volcano start to rise up and fill the air with its dirty scent making it extremely difficult to breathe._

_I feel my mouth and vocal cords scream, I feel myself try to pry my eyes open, hoping it is just them being forced closed. My sobs clog my throat while the air is trying to force its way to the lungs. I feel them have a battle. I feel my eye lids squint, feel my mouth move, but I cannot see or hear anything, despite my attempts._

_Now can I not only not see the nothingness, I can't hear it either. Which was weird, since there was really nothing to hear in the first place. But this is different, when I had my hearing, I knew I could hear if I wanted too. I felt comforted knowing I had a sense left. And I remember that Shredder would sometimes, torture me and would hear something from my past. And it hurt, it hurt like hell to remember the things I tried so hard to forget. But with torture, came something in this empty void. No, I can't even call I an empty void. Even if the void is empty, it is still there, it is still going. Nothingness is the only word that can describe where I am. But, with deafness and blindness, comes nothing. _

_And what makes this so hard is that I know what I am missing on. I remember how it was to hear, the joy of being able to see. I would always look or hear the world, and with what I saw or heard, I would try to turn it into something positive or wonderful. But without being able to see or hear the world anymore, how do I stay bright, how do I live? And knowing how I used to be able to do that, and now I can't even see or hear the little things that I sometimes have in this nothingness, it kills me. Who knows, I may being tortured right now, maybe I'm suppose to see my brothers smiling or hear them screaming at me, but I can't experience the sensation. I use to have nightmares of being tortured, and I would wish every night right before I go to bed that I never would have to experience that again, that I would go through anything than those nightmares. I regret that now, I can't go on with nothing, I need __**something.**_

_The only thing that keeps me anchored to the nothingness where I am now stuck on is when I feel myself, and around me. This nothingness would take different shapes, sometimes I would float, sometime be stuck on the ground. Maybe there is something new since I lost my sight. But no matter what form it took, nothing would always be nothing._

_I feel my gut, it is empty yet full of pain at the same time. It is impossible to explain what I mean. Someone would only know what that meant if they had experienced it before. The closest it feels like is when I was in bed. It was like I was aware of all my surroundings, I felt the bed under me, the blankets covering me and keeping me trapped in their warmth. But at the same time, I don't. I feel myself floating at the same time, drifting off to sleep's own little world. It sort of feels like that, except these two feelings I have cause me pain._

_The emptiness makes my gut hurt. And the emptiness holds the pain. It is like a two in one package. I want to scream, I want to cry out, but I think I am already am. And it still doesn't make me feel better._

_My mouth moves in patterns, shouting certain words over and over again, and it is only after many repeats that my brain recognizes what I am saying. Something, wait, something is there. I know this, I have done it before._

_I keep doing what I was doing, screaming, crying, and it hits me like a full blast force of ice and snow. These are words I've called out before, "Leo, Raph, Donnie, Dad." Sometimes I even feel myself call out the words, April and Casey, but the first four are called out way more often._

_I know I am saying these words, because in the past, saying these names are like a routine to me. It came so easily, and no matter what the circumstances, my brain just triggered them. Made me remember what I was saying. And even though I still cannot see or hear my mouth moving or saying these names, I know by the motion of my lips that I am calling out to them. And for a split-second, I feel happy. I just recognized something in this nothingness. But then guilt swallows me up, and my brain has a battle. And I have no idea which side I am on._

**_ The few words you recognize you are calling out to is your family? Isn't the whole reason you started this was to get away from them to make them happy and safe? And now you're being selfish and calling them back?_**

_I know, but it's so hard. I'm sorry, I really am, but I can't. I just- I didn't think-I_

**_Exactly, because you didn't need to think. After all your brothers have done for you, even after everything they thought about you, you just had to do this one thing for them. You want to bring them to this hellish nightmare too?_**

_No of course not! But I really can't do this anymore. This nothingness is going to kill my mind. I tried, I did, but-_

**_But what? Even if they wanted to come and save you they couldn't. They think you are _****_dead. _****_How are they suppose to know you are alive in your mind and that you are suffering? Does that even sound like something they would consider?_**

_Well…no…but they could…_

**_You know you are lying to yourself! False hope will get you no where! Now be honest with yourself, do you really think they are going to come?_**

_…No._

**_Exactly._**

_And with that final though, the hopeless, yet realistic side of my brain won. And how could I prove that side of my mind wrong? It was right._

_It was as if I was a towel, and someone was wringing the water out of me, but the water was my hope._

_My brothers had used to tell me, "Fear will always be easier to have than hope. But fight, fight as if you were fighting for your life for that hope, and once you have it grasp on it with all that you have. Because in the end, hope will always be stronger than fear." And I always believed them and thought of their words, that's how I was able to face fighting Shredder, face LeatherHead when he was on a rampage, be able to see Raph storm out of the lair and force myself to know he will come back. But now, in this nothingness, where I can't see or hear and know that no one would come for me, even if they knew, could, and wanted to. But they can't and they don't. What is there to hope for?_

_I feel myself lay down, apparently this nothingness has a floor today, and wrap my arms tightly around my stomach, as if to stop some of the pain. I feel the wetness come out of my eyes fiercely, and I feel myself rock back and forth. _

_I am so close to breaking, I don't even know if I had yet. I don't know how being broken feels like, I don't think I have experienced it before. At least, that's what one side says to me. The other says that I know perfectly fine how it is to feel broken, because I am right now. But I can't help but refuse it, it is so hard to face the fact that I am broken, that I am gone. I couldn't. But then again, I thought I couldn't face it if I was ever deaf or blind. But I am both. But, in the end, I'm not facing it. I'm being pushed through it. _

_And I don't need hearing to know the one word I mumbled before I couldn't force myself to talk anymore._

_"Help."_

**Leo's Pov**

_I only realized the blinding light when it was right in front of me, and that was because I had no choice but to. The tears that blur my eyes makes the golden light shift, as if it were a lava lamp, but with black bubbles floating around in it. The black orbs slowly advance in numbers and they grow larger by each passing second, until there is only one speck of gold that shone bright in the middle, only to get overwhelmed by the pitch black balls too. Then, the balls slowly change their shape, blending together, until they took a form as one, and I realize I am in one solid shape of darkness._

_I sit there, mouth agape for a few seconds, until my brain clears up just enough to let he questions run free inside of me. Where am I? How did I get here? Where did the light come from? Where is my…family? _

_My family. _

_The cages._

_ The Blood._

_Their death. _

_At first it is a blurry memory, like a far away dream, but then I remember it more clearly, and my heart picks up it's pace._

_They died, all of them. And I wasn't able to save them. That horrible day all started when…when…when did it start? How did they get to those cages? What…what happened? I sit there, shaking slightly, on my knees, urging myself to recall the events, but after what I believe was a few minutes, I still remembered nothing before seeing them in cages._

_How…how does something like that happen? I'm positive it wasn't a dream, I just had this feeling inside. I know I'm suppose to remember something, I am guessing this is how it feels to have amnesia . There is something deep down telling me that I'm suppose to remember something or someone, but I don't know what. Suddenly, a voice says two words out of no where. Mind and reality._

_Reality. Mind. As soon as I think those words, I feel so close to remembering something important that someone told me, but in a flash it disappears. No wait…it…it was…._

_Suddenly, I hear wind approaching, and I see them, I see the black and gold orbs again. They're forming. Are they there to take me back to my hellish nightmare, or reality, or will they give me some answers? No, I don't think that's it. I don't feel the stretching and light-headed sensation I felt before. It either doesn't have to do with me, or something different is happening._

_I feel the floor fizzling, so I look down due to curiosity, and see a form looking like it was made of gas particles. The orbs must have brought something into this darkness, as it has brought me. Was this how I looked when I was first delivered here? Slowly, the particles began to take shape, and I gasp._

_No…they were dead, right? Or…did something happen? It has to do with something I was feeling earlier, doesn't it?_

_ Mind. _

_Reality. _

_Mind. _

_Reality. _

_Mind. _

_Reality._

_I keep repeating those words to me, knowing they mean something. I stare intensely at the figure taking shape, and that with the words I'm saying get me closer to letting me know what really happened before I saw my brothers in cages._

_Mixing up my mind and reality. Yes, I feel as if I can just reach out my hand I would find the answer. But, I actually didn't need that._

_Because the full answer finally came to me, when I saw Donnie._

**Donnie's POV**

_I feel myself be absorbed to the light, it is pulling me away and I don't even fight it. Maybe I am dying from a unknown reason, maybe fate has it that me and my brothers always have to be together. Or maybe it is a punishment for not being able to save them. Whatever it is for, I don't have the fight or care left to go against it. What's there to fight for now anyways? They're gone._

_My body feels fuzzy and my head seems to anchor me down. The fuzziness inside me slowly diminishes, and that's when I feel the cold solid ground that I am laying on._

_"What…" I start to ask, a million questions flowing through my brain, but a voice interrupts me. _

_"Don't even think about it. Trust me, I got a major headache when I did." The voice sounds raw and familiar, and I wonder why. As my eye sight finally adjusted, I look up, and see a green figure staring back at me._

_My breath hitches as the figure starts to come into focus. Green. Three fingers. Blue mask. He was dead. My cure didn't work. Yet, here he was, standing right in front of me with tears in his eyes._

_"You…you were dead." I whisper, tears beginning to clog my vision. I...saw you…"_

_"Don? Do you remember how we died?" Leo asks gently._

_I can't do anything but nod, the shock and the effort to hold back tears takes all my strength. Leo looks confused at my answer, and mumbles, "It must have created more memories for you."_

_I want to ask what he means by that, but I have more pondering and important questions to ask._

_"Am I dead? Are we real?" I finally say._

_"As far as I know of, no, you're not and yes, you are." Leo states. _

_"Then…then how?" I question, shaking my head. I lost my family yet here one of them are, speaking to me, and saying we are real? How?_

_"Donnie, while you were coming out of the orbs, I was already here. I started to remember bits and pieces of events. Do you remember what….Splinter…" I could see Leo's voice get caught on that word. "Do you remember what Splinter said?"_

_"Master Splinter? No…he…he and Shredder." That was all I was able to say, but Leo seemed to understand me._

_"No Donnie. Think, think harder. Do you remember before all that started, about confusing mind and reality?" Leo questioned._

_Mind._

_Reality._

_Those words, I don't know why, but they seemed so important. Like…like something I need to know…_

_Mind._

_Reality._

_Confusing mind…and reality…_

_I look of realization crawls its way on my face._

_"You mean…this is what Sensei was talking about?" I ask, remembering what memories were created and the pain I felt no too long ago. Leo gave me a slight nod, answering my question._

_So everything I saw was fake? Casey and April weren't together, Splinter and Shredder didn't fight, my dad didn't die, my brothers didn't pass away, it wasn't my fault?_

_I feel tears prick the corners of my eyes, and I smile from relief. "Thank gosh." I mumble, and I am compelled to hug Leo, but just then the dots that have carried me on my journey have arrived. And the look on Leo's face told me that someone had arrived. Turning my attention to the figure forming, I know exactly who it was._

**Raph's POV**

_I feel something burn my eyes, but I don't look up too see what it was. I am swallowed by grief and guilt. I murdered them. I killed my brothers. If only they left me alone, if only they didn't follow me, if only they didn't play a stupid prank on me, if only…_

_If only I controlled my temper, if only I realized it was them, if only I thought before I did things._

_If only I wasn't the person I tried to hide from them._

_I feel light headed and dizzy, but I don't care. I beg the heavens to give me actual torture, that I deserve it. I want someone to kill me or capture me, a monster like me deserved to be locked up and dead._

_"I'm sorry…" I whisper, for about the millionth time, but I know apologizes will not change the past, and will get me nowhere in the future. "Please…" I beg, not finishing me sentence. I was begging them to change time, bring them back, but I knew it was for nothing. My courageous, understanding, calm, and supporting brother didn't deserve to be dead. My geeky, smart, and creative younger brother didn't deserve this. My happy-go-lucky, innocent, cheerful, and kind youngest brother didn't deserve this. None of them should be dead. I should, I was a monster, an Akuma*, I didn't deserve to live, but I didn't deserve to die either. I didn't deserve to die, then all my sorrows would go away, and that wouldn't be fair to anyone else. I didn't deserve to be alive in the first place. I was a devil dressed as a hero._

_I feel a cold, smooth floor underneath me, but I didn't care to look where I was. It was for sure a place I didn't know, so I must be somewhere else, as a pet, or in captivity, who cares? I'm glad._

_Suddenly, I feel a hand, a hand I know and memorized, on my shoulder. I try to block out the feeling, no, it was just something that felt like the hand. Like my brother's-no, I don't have the right to call them my brothers-like the hero's hands._

_I hear a familiar voice calling out my name. I grasp my head with my hands, trying to block out that voice. "No, Stop it. Go away." I pleaded._

_"Raph, I need you to look up." A soothing voice requested, softly yet firmly. It was like there was an unyielding force that made me slowly bring up my head and like whoever had got or saw me in the eye. And when I did, I immediately regretted it._

_"No, no ,no, no, no! Please, go away. I know your mad at me, please, go ahead and do what you like. But don't make me look at you again, please don't." I begged, tears still streaming down my face, as I instantly look down again. _

_"Raph, whatever happened, it wasn't real. Please look at us." Another voice tried again, and I realized it was my former brother, before I ruthlessly slaughtered him, Donatello._

_No! They are lying to me, out to get you because of what you did. It's a trick.' I tried to convince myself, but the kind voice, it was too much for me to handle, no matter what, I just __**had **__to look._

_As I painfully bring my head up to take a glance at them, I realize they don't look like the ghost I imagined that wanted revenge. They looked solid, and they weren't see through, and they had kind and concerned looks on their faces._

_I try to look down, but I can't. They look like they have to say something else to me, and no matter how painful it is, I needed to know. What if it was their last wishes, or something important?_

_"Raph. Whatever you saw, it wasn't real. Remember, were in Mikey's mind, we made the journey through his spirit. Remember, Master Splinter said that we would have nightmares and get filled with memories, that never really happened." Leo explained._

_"What-" Is all I'm able to get out before I grasp my head as all the memories violently smash me back._

_Mikey, he died. So we thought. We were saving him. I didn't kill my brothers, I wasn't a murder. It has just in the mind, it wasn't reality. I recalled, everything clearer now, and my shoulders slumped in relief, and I started to shake._

_"Raph…Raph…what's wrong?" Leo asks, he and Donnie going at knee length so that it was easier for them to look at me._

_"You were dead, because of me. But it wasn't real, it was all in my head." I cried with relief. _

_"I thought you were dead, that I murdered you. That I would never see you again." I cried, softly wrapping my arms around my gut, cringing at the memory. I feel two pairs of arms encircle me, and I don't even have to look up to see who they belong too. I don't attempt to stop the tears that flowed down my cheeks, because I felt my brother's tears splash on me too. They were here, that's all that mattered._

_I didn't kill them. They were alive. And apparently they had horrible nightmares where we were gone too, because we all kept tell telling us how we were scared, they we were sorry, and that we were here now._

_After hugging and crying for a few moments, just getting over the fact that what we just experienced wasn't reality, we helped each other up._

_"Alright guys, this has been…crazy." Leo said, choosing his words carefully, because he knew that all of us were still affected by that we saw. And I think we always will. Because even though it didn't really happen, the pain, sorrow, and hurt was clearly felt, and that will never leave our minds no matter how hard we try to get rid of it._

_"But, we came here to find a way to save Mikey. So that's what we are going to do. Yes, we are reunited, but we will never be family knowing our little brother is still alive somewhere, and we're going to go save him." Leo announced. I couldn't believe how confident he sounded after the trauma we went through. As much as I hated to admit it, he really was a true born leader._

_"So how are we suppose to save him?" Donnie asked._

_Leo seemed deep in thought. "We make his soul as pure as we can get it, and bring him home." Leo decided._

_"Oh, wow. Thanks for the information, oh wise one." I said sarcastically. If Leo and Donnie were going to try to be their geeky and courageous, then I will try to be my sarcastic self. We all had to be brave. No matter how scared and affected I felt. I felt an unknown courage go through my veins, and I felt as if that was just what I needed._

_"You'll see what I mean." Was all the Leo said, and started slowly heading forward, but in a slower pace than he usually does, as if he doesn't want to be separated by us but doesn't want to seem weak. Yep, that's my brother. Don and I take a hint and run up to him, with a new purpose and some sadness heaved off our chest, replaced with hope that we got by going through our worst fears, no matter how terrified we were and still are._

_The world seemed lighter to carry on our shoulders. Yes, I knew we had a huge task at hand, and our little brother's life may depend on this, but as we always told each other, "Fear will always be easier to have than hope. But fight, fight for that hope as if you were fighting for your life, and once you have it grasp onto that hope with all that you have. Because, in the end, hope will always be stronger than fear."_

**Splinter's POV**

Now that no one is here, I allow myself to show my true fear and anticipation, switching my sight to my sons in their meditating position, to Michelangelo, to the doorway, and back again. I am tired and I know perfectly well why, but I need April and Casey to arrive first. It wasn't as if I could rest even if he wanted to.

Suddenly, my ears prick up at the new sound that invaded the rhythm of the beeping clock, footsteps. Turning my direction to the door, even though by now I would be staring at Michelangelo, I see April O' Neil and Casey Jones rush into the lair, I look of utter worry written of their expressions.

"Sorry we're late Master Splinter, we"-April starts to explain, but I cut her off.

"It is fine, whatever the reason, at least you are here. Now please, take a seat." I ushered them inside, pointing to the sofa.

"But…didn't you say this was urgent?" April asked. "Noting to take offense to Master Splinter, but I don't think we have time for tea." April acknowledged.

"It is. But first you must know the whole story to understand why." I explained, and sat In front of them, and began the whole story starting from a few hours after they left.

Except for the occasion gasp, or reaction, they did not interrupt. When I finished, I looked at them, expecting them to have questions, and I was not disappointed.

"So, someway the mind and the soul are connected, even though the heart died? And you don't know why?" April asked, even though I had explained this earlier, but I give her a nod as if giving her a final answer.

"And you have no idea how this is happening? But you sense that this is not natural and something bad is happening to his mind and soul?" April questions again, and I give her the same answer I gave her to her previous question.

"And you said you meditated, and made them realize the difference between mind and reality quicker than it should be? So you literally sent them courage and realization from part of you and part of their other chakras?" April wondered, as she seemed to be full of questions.

"Yes, if I would let them sit there and let them figure out what they saw didn't really happen, I'm afraid it would take them too long to recover from it and believe it. So I took some emotion from me, and their heart chakra which is protected along their crown chakra-to bring them back home- to make the process go quicker and realization and hope dawn on them. It is not natural that one should recover from an experience they saw and felt such as their worst fear as the did, but it was essential."

Casey and April nodded in understanding.

"So…the guys' physical body is here…but their mental mind is traveling through Mikey's soul and into his mind?" Casey asked uncertainly, wearing an expression of unbelief.

"Yes." I answered bluntly, and stay silent, waiting for another question to pop up.

"So…are the guys merged with Mikey now? Are they like a part of him? Like, does Mikey now feel the emotions they feel, or does he even know they are traveling through his soul?" Casey asked, and his question actually surprises me.

"To answer both of your questions simply, Casey, no. The brothers are like mere travelers, they spiritual bodies keeping their own emotions to themselves. If two people merged, as you say, I think that person would corrupt. Imagine, two different beings sharing the same mind. That would be as if Shredder and I shared the same mind. It would be impossible." I state.

"Well yeah…but not long ago I thought this was impossible too." Casey defended.

I see April sharply elbow Casey, and he sends me an apologetic glance. "Sorry… he didn't mean to make that sound rude. It's been a long day for you." April says out loud, which I am predicting is what Casey was trying to say with his eyes.

I look at these two children sympathetically, even though they were not biologically part of this family, they still were treated as one and felt like one, and I knew the death of Michelangelo as affected them as well. "It has been a long day for all of us." I state, as if telling them not to worry.

We sit there in awkward silence, until April brings the attention back to the matter at hand. "So…what do you need us for?"

"I have meditated a little while before you have arrived. I have sent energy and courage to my sons, and I made them remember the words "Reality" and "Mind," knowing by their auras that they needed help. But sadly, that has drained all my energy, and if I do not get rest soon I am afraid I will not be able to assist them on their next part of their journey. I need you to watch over them, one of you watch Michelangelo and the other watch the three brothers. If there is even the slightest change, you must come wake me. If not, get me in about two hours, maybe a little less. I am positive that will be around the time I am needed.

"Master Splinter, one last question. What if the guys can't save Mikey, or if they're stuck there? April asks with great difficulty, but I new this question was going to come sometime around.

I take a deep breath, and let it out as a long sigh, preparing myself to deliver the answer. "If they fail, they may all pass away or they will all be stuck in my son's mind, and eventually, their spiritual selves will wear out, and they will become nothing. Since my sons are traveling through Michelangelo's mind and soul, when they perish, Michelangelo will perish with them." I justify.

"But you just told me they don't become one with each other…" Casey trails off and silently urges me to explain.

"Think about it this way. Let us say Leonardo, Raphael, and Donatello are travelers with deadly diseases. They come into Michelangelo's house, who is already dying and becoming weak as it is, and they sleep in the same room. The deadly disease will spread through the room by breath, and all four of them will then have the disease, all leaving them to die. They were not in Michelangelo's body, true, they couldn't kill him if they or him were not sick, but they were. That is how this works. When my three oldest sons go into Michelangelo's soul and body, their strength slowly slip away, which is like having a disease. That affects Michelangelo as well. That is the best way I can explain it." I conclude, and while Casey still looks a bit confused, he gives a nod anyways.

"So…how do the guys stop it?" April finally asks after a moment of silence.

"That is up to them. As much as I hate to admit it, they know more about their brother than I. How to get him out of the trance that is taking over his mind and soul, that is up to them. Once his brothers has 'woken' Michelangelo up, I will bring them back. But I cannot interfere with their job. I know how to get them in and out, and how to even give them some of my emotion, but the rest is up to them. " I answer.

"That's some responsibility for some teenagers." Casey whistled, but otherwise look concerned.

"Desperate times calls for desperate measures." I state. "Now as much as I hate it, I know I must rest, or I may not be able to get the brothers out of there, and they will be stuck there for eternity." And I walk off.

I know I am suppose to rest, but I am curious if the teenagers will say anything they were scared to say in front of me once they think I am gone.

"He says that so casually, you would think he does this sort of thing every week." Casey joked, sitting next to Michelangelo's bed, but the atmosphere of the air stays the way it was before, with tension and worry. But I know that if I concentrate hard enough, I can sense a speck of hope for the future too. I wish that things will go our way, and that I the future that speck of hope will illuminate the room and make their way into everyone's heart.

The two teenagers sit in silence for some while, and just as I am about to leave, I another hear another voice.

"Do you understand what Splinter meant by he can give them emotion and take them in and out of places, or about the brothers dying in the soul?" Casey asks.

"Not entirely, but I understood what he was trying to say." April said, looking too exhausted to say more. Apparently Casey understood.

A few long seconds went by, and I was about to go to my room to finally rest, but for the second time today, a voice stops me in my tracks.

"April?" Casey asks.

"Hm?"

"Do you think they'll make it?" He whispers, and the fear is evident in his voice.

April lets out a slow, long sigh, as if trying to relieve her stress.

"I don't know Casey, I just don't know."

**Shredder's POV**

_I watch with interest as the three brothers walk in my hostage's mind. They came later than I thought they would, they gave me more that enough time to complete what I needed to. This is perfect._

_Go ahead, take the young turtle, bring him back life, it's better for me. I'll even make a path leading you to this turtle's nothingness. I just need you to find your brother._

_My job is done, at least in the turtle's mind. For now at least. But now, to carry on with the next phase._

_I never thought Hamato Yoshi could be so idiotic, he is making my plan so much easier for me. _

_There is just one thing left that I have to do to the young turtle, in his mind at least. Then I can advance forward._

_Paralyze him._

**And I'm still not happy with this, but you know what, I'm not writing this chapter six times! Five was already enough, thank you very much. Well, I don't think this will ever be as good as my forth time, but this has taught me to save at least ever twenty minutes. Thanks for the life lesson stupid power, could you have made it any clearer!?**

**In the end, I had a rough time with this chapter. But I tried my best, so yeah. Thanks for reading though, you readers are awesome! Everyone is awesome! *Starts singing song from The Lego Movie: Everything is awesome! Everything is cool when you're part of a team! Everything is awesome, when you're living a dream! How is that not one of the catchiest songs ever?!**

**See ya! ;)**


	15. Chapter 15: Leaving

**Hey guys! Not much to say, except, enjoy! Oh, and thanks for the reviews, guys! They mean a lot! Can we get to 200? Psh, yeah right! *shrugs* Eh, it was worth a shot. **

**Oh, and I would like to welcome all the new readers that came in the past few chapters! Thanks for being here, all new and old readers! ;) It means a lot!**

**Mikey's Pov**

_Something has changed, I feel it in my gut. Something is different. Maybe my deafness, perhaps my sight. I try to open my eyes, make them squint, but it still seems the same. No, it has nothing to do with my sight, the gut feeling is still there, slowly gnawing on my insides. My mouth tries to move in a motion, probably saying something I don't quite remember feeling my lips say, but still, the nothingness clogs my hearing, as if it was water after I had showered. No, it is not my hearing. So what is it? Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me, maybe after all the fighting I have done to not go insane in this nothingness, I have finally lost. Is that even possible, to go crazy, when there isn't really anything around you to torture you?_

_I try to ignore the swirling feeling in my stomach, but it grows stronger and it won't leave me alone, like it was a young child asking for an ice cream cone, and I was the parent saying no. The cries and pleads for me to say yes or to pay attention grows stronger each time I block it out, until I feel like punching my stomach just to get rid of the nasty feeling._

_I try to snap at it and I might have, but I don't hear or feel my mouth moving…_

_Wait, hold up. I…I don't feel my mouth moving…Wait…what?_

_I…I can't feel. I finally become aware of my lost sense. I cannot feel _anything. _What, what's happening? I try to move my any body part, finally going with my legs, at least, I hope I am trying too, but I feel nothing._

_What's wrong with me? Where did the sensation go? No, no, no, no! How did this happen? I had my feeling a minute ago, I felt my arm moving to brush away my ever-flowing tears. Now, I don't feel anything, nothing at all! That's not possible, that doesn't just suddenly happen!_

_It is getting more difficult for me to breath, my throat is closing up, my heartbeat trying to break through the barrier of my chest. No, I tell myself to move any part of my body, any part at all, but as I wait for a sensation of movement to flow through my veins giving me knowledge that I still had _something**_,_**_ but it is not there. The gut feeling that told me that there was something new, something wrong, was immediately replaced by a panicky feeling filling ever part, corner, and hole in my small, defeated body._

_No! Why and how do my senses keep dropping one by one, giving me nothing? Is Shredder doing this, or is this what naturally happens when you are psychically dead yet mentally alive? Is this a sign that I'm dying, that my mind can't go on like this anymore? Will that mean I'll feel again once I die, or will I remain a corpse with my last memory of me is being stuck, feeling and being in nothing, without my family?_

_No matter how bad things get, I don't want to die. Not yet. But I don't want to be stuck in my mind, without feeling, forever either. I want to go back, I want to be alive. I want to go on with my days, with my brothers not hating me. I want to know in the end, what's the main thing I did wrong. How I could have fixed it. What else I could have said. Since I have been stuck here so long, so many regrets, so many ideas on how I could have made things better without making myself stuck here formed and took over my mind._

_And I also want to complete everything on my bucket list. I want to see the world without being judged, I want to defeat the enemies, I want to make more friends, I want to go through the ups and downs of the actual life, I want to _live_. But not here, not here I don't. I can't live here. Not before, not ever. And especially not now._

_I want to scream, I want to hear my voice and my sobs. I want to see the tears running dorm my cheek, splashing onto my arms. I want to wrap my arms around my stomach and try to make warmth, try not to break. I want my senses back. I __**need**__ my senses back._

_The panicky feeling in me does not dissolve, and I can't believe I am stuck in the situation I am. Can you imagine, not knowing what you are doing? Not knowing if you are waving, if you are stomping, if you are screaming, if you are laughing? That's how it is most probably going to be for now on. This, this is true torture. Not words slicing through your soul, not seeing images of your lost ones, that's heartache, that's sadness. This, this is a whole new story. This is what the real definition of torture is. Bu nobody knows it but me. So everyone is blinded by what goes around them, they think that is torture. They're not even close, I should know. I felt what they were feeling before too. I've felt both, and even more.._

_My heartbeat, not the physical one, the one that is trapped in my mental body, thumps, and the inside of my head is dizzy. My breath picks up the pace. I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't breathe!_

_And that panicky thought is all I remember, before I fall into the depths of unconsciousness._

**Leo's Pov**

_I don't know how long our spiritual bodies have been walking through the mind of our youngest brother. Seconds, minutes, hours, maybe even days? All I know is that we are getting closer, I feel the darkness, the hopelessness, that fills the air around us. And as crazy as it sounds, I think this melancholy is affecting me too. When I was once filled with hope after seeing my brothers once more not so long ago, clouds of doubt now filled my mind._

_What if we were actually going the wrong way? What if we don't make it on time? What if we find something we won't be able to handle? What if we find nothing at all?_

_Now, it was rational to feel doubt on a mission like this, but these hesitations were stronger. When I first started this journey, my mind was set, I knew we had a task, and I knew we would complete it. That knowledge was even stronger once I was reunited with my brothers. But now that we ventured deeper into Mikey's mind and soul, the uncertainty and fear seemed more powerful than ever before, and it seemed as if it was trying to control me, tell me where to go, make me give up at a certain spot or time._

_But I wouldn't let it. We had to move forward. This was an opportunity, a very unlikely, unbelievable opportunity, but I wasn't just going to give up knowing that my brother, deep down, is still alive and has a soul somewhere. Plus, my brothers were here. Those two things together was my fuel, the thing that made me not fall into the restriction of all the little voices hidden in this darkness._

_Now that I focus more on it, I realize that I didn't feel this earlier in the trip. I wonder if that is because the beginning of Mikey's mind is happy, or protected, or us being there made the darkness momentarily clearer and happier. And as we traveled deeper, dark and hopeless thoughts varied more in numbers. Or it was just coincidence. But over the months of traveling on the surface and getting involved with all this madness, I learned that nothing is ever coincidence._

_"How long have we been walking?" Donnie questioned, snapping the silence of endless and troubling thoughts into millions of little pieces._

_"I don't know." I mumbled back, and though Donnie's question made sense in this situation, everyone knew the meaning behind it._

**_Do you think we're too late?_**

_No, there it was again! That stupid, nagging voice of doubt! It's going to keep getting stronger if we don't find Mikey's mental body soon..._

_Wait. Something is different. Something is wrong. Things were not the way they were before. It's hard to explain it, but the way the air surrounds makes me feel like everything was suddenly..._gone. _Where was everyone's doubt and worried thoughts filling the air? Where was the darkness? Where was...everything?_

_"Guys?" I call out hesitantly. "You feel that?"_

_"You mean the emptiness?" Donnie bluntly asked._

_"Yeah...that." I answer._

_"Oh...then...yeah. I feel it."_

_"Um…hello?" Raph calls out into the oddly empty air._

_"Sh!" I automatically shush, out of habit, and then feel a blood red blush creep over my face like a shadow does when the sun first slowly rises. It wasn't like anyone was going to hear us._

_"Leo...there's no one-" Raph starts, but I stop him, holding my hand up._

_"Yeah, I know. Sorry." I interrupt quickly._

_"So...where are we now?" Donnie asks, the confusion on his face reflecting my expression._

_"Beats me. I barely knew where we were before." Raph mumbled._

_I was about to give a snappy comment about if he was paying attention when Splinter was talking, but the nightmare I had gone through as it was reality planted itself in my mind, efficiently shutting me up._

_"Earlier, Sensei said we would be traveling through his soul.-" I start._

_"Which was weird since Mikey's heart was dead, and he had been taught a soul cannot live without a heart." Don reminded, confirmed by me nodding my head._

_"-So maybe we finished the journey through his soul and we finally landed his mind._

_"Gosh. I know I said he didn't have a brain, but I didn't mean _this_!" Raph muttered, spreading his arm around him, acknowledging the emptiness around him. _

_"Raph! Now is not the time!" I scold, but I am secretly grateful that he is able to act like himself to the best of his abilities. His sarcasm and insults calm my nerves down, it made it seem that part of us were still intact, that we weren't completely damaged after what we saw as Sensei warned. That we weren't stuck in our youngest brother's mind, with his life riding on us getting him out. It made things feel as right as they could in this situation._

_Our eyes scan this wide world of emptiness, trying to look for something that may help us out._

_"Anything in particular we may be looking for?" Raph asked._

_"Whatever looks like it would help." I mumble, taking a few steps forward._

_"Thanks genius." I hear Raph mumble, but nevertheless trailed behind me. The concentration and tension of our lookout fills the air for one moment, as if it were strong enough to defeat it, but then went back to its original state quicker than it had happened._

_As our footsteps took us deeper into this emptiness we were stuck in, a sudden wave of despair hits me at full blast, almost knocking me off my feet. A ton of jumbled thoughts came rushing towards me, Shredder winning, my brothers' death when it wasn't their time, the nightmare. I have the unexplainable urge to collapse to the ground and cry my heart out. It was terrifying and so unexpected, yet the sadness left me a few seconds as it arrived, almost as it decided its melancholy was not meant for me, and went on to go and find another target._

_I felt the same after that. It was so strange. It felt like as if the sadness was at it purest form, making up any reason for you to become sad and overwhelmed, even if nothing happened. I open my mouth to ask what the heck that was, but the quickly, yet firmly, locked it shut. If it happened to the guys, I didn't need to ask what was that and if they felt it, they would know. If they didn't, well, there was no need to bother them with that. Too many peculiar things had happened today, what's one more to add to the list?_

_"Guys, look!" Donnie shouted, pointing off to somewhere in the distance, sounding eager. "I think I may have found something!" _

_"What? Where?" I question, sounding a little too anticipated than a leader should, but then again, this was a family mission, not a ninja mission, there is no leader now. _

_I squint to where he is pointing out, seeing nothing but the emptiness we have been surrounded with, but then the outline of a petite, slumped figure, and from this distance it looked as it was unmoving. There really was so evidence that it was the mental image of body, but honestly, what else would it be? What else could it be? There really was no other option or choice, it just __**had**__ to be him. And if by any chance the universe decided that our luck wasn't bad enough, and it wasn't something they were looking for, it was still worth investigating, right?_

_"Good work Donnie." I complimented, and headed off to the shadowy figure, my brothers just inches behind me._

_As the finally got to this dark figure, I stopped dead in his tracks, and I could have sworn his heart had stopped for a few seconds. It wasn't a joke, it wasn't a lie. He was there. Lying on the floor, looking like he did as he did in his physical appearance. After all we have gone through, the gnawing feeling of doubt, the nightmares, he was actually here. _

_And I had told himself over and over again that we would succeed, but as I looked back, I mostly said that to motivate myself. But, now that I was actually here, seeing my little brother, mentally alive or not, it made things all so real. I wanted to cry from joy, _we had actually found him._ Now we just had to take him home, something Sensei said would happen naturally. We did the hard part, now we just had to focus, and make Mikey go in a relaxing state, and leave this horrible place. Now that I thought about it, I actually didn't know how we were going to escape, but Sensei had obviously stayed home for an important reason. A gut feeling in my chest told me to trust whatever Splinter had prepared, he obviously wouldn't have sent us here without a full plan, and to just do my part. _

_I wanted to embrace him, ask him how all this happened, question him how he knew how he would pass away that night, I wanted to kiss his cheek and sing him a Japanese lullaby I sang to him as a kid, before I decided we were too old for that. But Sensei had told us we had limited time, and I honestly had no idea how long we had been here. We had to focus at the main task at hand, no matter how strong the wanting and longing is._

_"I think...somehow…he's asleep." Donnie whispered, a look of shock and happiness that matched Raph's and mine._

_"His mental body is asleep in his mind?" Raph questioned slowly, trying to ask it in a way that made sense. _

_I gave a half-hearted sigh. "Give it up, Raph. Nothing make sense today." I say, while crouching down to attempt to 'wake up' Mikey. I feel jealousy radiating off the two brothers, I could tell they wanted to wake him up. They wanted to be the first one their brother saw after whatever made his aura so dark, they wanted to be the first reason he felt comforted. But I feel as if I claimed this right. Don't ask me why or how, I just do. Maybe that's just my heart fighting back, getting jealous that if I didn't kneel down first, the other two may have the role I am have right now, or maybe it's just the greediness that is hidden in every being's heart coming alive. _

_Ignoring them trying to hide their scolds, I slowly place a hand on Mikey's shoulders. A chill courses through my veins as the heat of the moment comes to me. Was I ready to see those baby blue eyes, mentally or physically, right after I witnessed him pass away right before my eyes? Would he be scared? Would he want to see me? Would he feel let down that we hadn't come sooner? Did he even know we were coming? Would he even remember me? _

_I shove these thoughts aside, now was not the time for them, they would just slow me down._

_Taking a deep breath in unison with my brothers, I slightly shake my youngest brother's shoulders. "Mikey?" I whisper._

His name._ After seeing him flat line on us, I thought I would never have the ability to say his name while looking at him ever again. Afraid that that would make it real, that he was gone. Maybe it wasn't all happiness and joy to be the one calling your brother after everything we witnessed, it came with an additional fear they couldn't understand if they weren't in my position. But I wouldn't give up the position I am in for the world, I _had_ to do this._

_The no response and continuous stillness coming from my youngest brother makes me breathing come out ragged and labored, and a deep, dreading feeling in my gut formed and took over. What if we were too late? Sensei said we were running out of time, that Mikey's soul may corrupt. Has that happened? Are we too late? What's going to happen to us?_

_'__No, try again. Your worry and fear is just getting the best you, Leonardo. No one wakes up when their alarm first rings, so why would Mikey wake up when you first wake him? It's fine…it's fine. Just try again.' I tell myself, shoving my uncertainty and anxiety down, no matter how much it resisted._

_I realize my brothers have not said a word, probably awaiting me to try again. They definitely aren't lost in thought, their eyes show that their mind is _here_, in this reality we are living through._

_"__Mikey. Wake up." I say a little louder, rocking him back and forth a bit more harshly than I meant to. My breath got stuck in my throat as I looked at him expectantly._

_Still nothing._

_No! I refuse to give up, he's still here! I hate the feeling that swarms in my chest, the feeling as if we had lost him all over again._

_"__Mikey! Wake up!" I nearly scream, and shake him, all cautions of being gentle vanished._

_Still no reaction._

_Why won't he wake up? What's wrong with him? Could it really be that-_

_My mind didn't let me finish that thought, I knew what it was going to say anyways, and I hated it._

_No, that isn't true! We did not come all this way to bring him back, only to have lost him again! Why, what have we done in this situation to deserve this? We were heroes, maybe overly careful, short tempered, geeky, and goofy heroes, but still heroes nevertheless. We of all creatures should not deserve this!_

_I realize these are the thoughts that go through everyone's head when a traumatic event happens to them, no matter how selfless you are: __**What did I do to deserve this? **__And people rack their brains, looking for something at such an extreme level that they did, trying to match the experience they are going through, like I am. And maybe we really didn't do nothing, and it just happened. And yes, I know that life is unfair, but is it really _this _unfair? Isn't this a little too much, even for the cruel person we call life?_

_Donnie's broken voice breaks the heavy silence. "So…what-" He starts, but stops almost immediately._

_"__What, what?" Raph asked, his voice fragile and small, it scares me. This isn't suppose too happen to him. This wasn't suppose too happen to Mikey. This isn't suppose too happen to _us.

_All Donnie can do is shakily point forward. Follow the direction his is pointing with my eyes, I see his target is landing on the body of my brother. 'Thanks for the reminder.' I think annoyingly, wondering what heart he had at the moment if he was going to point that out._

_But wait…something was different. I scan my baby brother's body, looking for any change, or something that Don may want to point out. I suddenly feel guilty for my earlier thought, Donnie wouldn't point out something in a situation as devastating as this if it wasn't important. But what?_

_As my eyes trail up to Mikey's face, focusing intently, and absorbing everything they see, and when I finally see what Donnie pointed, out, _I actually fell back _in surprise._

_Instead of the calm, still slits of Mikey's eyes blurring in with his face, piercing baby blue eyes* seemed to pop us from Mikey's eyelids as if they were 3-D. Scrambling to get back up to my kneeling position, I slowly, shakily, reach out my hand to touch him, making sure this is real, not a mirage or my imagination._

_"__Hm…" Mikey groans, his voice oddly sounding muffled though there is nothing there to block it. Maybe the sleepiness in his voice mixed with the environment we are in makes it sound that way._

_"__Mikey?" This time, it is Donnie who speaks, getting up the courage to talk to him while he is awake._

_But Mikey doesn't even acknowledge us, instead, his eyes are still staring forward. I see his awkwardly move his arms, like I do when they fall asleep or have pins and needles._

_"__Hello?" He calls out, after a momentarily period of silence._

_"__Mikey? Lil' bro…we're…we're here." Raph stammered, looking hopeful, confused, and worried all at the same time. I didn't think those three emotion could ever go together, until now._

_"__Hello?" Mikey repeats, a little more loudly, still staring off to oblivion. He says it as if there is no one here._

_"__Mikey…?" I say curiously, now knowing exactly what to ask, just knowing I wanted to know what was wrong with him. Did he not see us?_

_"__Hello?" Mikey practically screams this time, but none of us are unnerved by the scream. We're too worried. Worried and confused._

_We all sit there, none of us making a move, seeing if he will notice us. He seems to have given up crying out, whatever he was trying to do._

_Now he rapidly flashes his hand back and forth right in front of his open eyes, but doesn't react to the motion. He doesn't flinch, doesn't even blink, as someone would normally do. What's up with him? Was being in his own mind affecting him?_

_"__Mikey? Dude, what's up? What's wrong with you? Answer us!" Raph demands._

_I know we shouldn't be pushing Mikey like this, but I know that's Raph's way of handling things, .no matter what the situation. But, especially when he is confused. And I know I should stop him from talking that way, reasoning we should start out gentle, but I don't. Because I'm confused too. And in the end, I have no idea what to do. _

_Suddenly, Mikey goes still again, except for the occasional twitching. This is how he would act if he was in his thinking mode if we were in reality. Who knows, maybe he is thinking. Maybe he's not. I don't know how this place works, how being in your mind feels like, how it takes toll on you. And I don't let myself forget that Sensei said that someone must have been forcing this, that the mind and soul cannot stay alive without a heart. Whoever did this must be a genius, or stupid, I don't know which, maybe a bit of both, knowing how to trick or force the mind and soul like that._

_"__Leo, what's up with him? Is he even able to see us?" Raph inquires._

_Before I am able to respond, Raph points out, "But, we're able to see each other."_

_"__True that." I mutter, and then add, "And I have no idea what's up with him. This is all so weird, and face it guys, we honestly didn't know what to expect once we found him."_

_"__Maybe since he's the one in _his_ mind, he can't see us?" Don hypothesized._

_I shrug, saying, "Your guess is as good as mines."_

_"__Well we just can't stay here. If being in his mind is affecting him, there's more of a reason to go home. What do we do next?" Raph asks._

_"__Well, I think we get out the way we came. Except without the nightmares, or Sensei would have warned us." I said quickly, taking notice of my brother's horrified expression of having to go through their true horrors all over again._

_"__And who knows, maybe Sensei will help us out since he knows more about this than we do." I try to reason, sharing to them what I have been telling myself this whole trip. Though, now that I say it out loud, it sounds more like a guess rather than a confirmation. Now that I think more into it, Sensei didn't tell us much about how to get it out. So he must do something, right? _

_"__And how do we get…Mikey…out of the mind with us?" Donnie quizzes, and I can still tell it is hard for them to say the name. How can I blame him? Saying it makes it official, and they are scared that if they say it, it will turn out to be one cruel nightmare. I get it._

_"__Like I said, how we did it earlier. Sensei didn't explain how we'll get out, so he will for sure play a part in this part of the process." I say with as much confidence as I can muster. I pray to every single Japanese god I know that I am right._

_Raph looked skeptical, but realizing there was no other way, his shoulders slumped. "Whatever you say fearless." For once, I don't object the name. I need to hear that, it gives me confidence. I _am_ fearless, if he believes that, so will I. Confidence surges through me at the nickname, and I feel myself turning back to the task at hand._

_"__I hope you know how this works." Raph mumbled, as we all sat down, feeling as if we were floating, cross-legged, grasping Mikey's arms and making him interlock hands with us. Making a tight semi-circle, the four of us once more, as brothers. I just hope that this works._

_It better._

**Mikey's Pov**

_I don't know how or why I woke up from my unconsciousness. All I know is that someone or something forces me, because it doesn't feel natural, the way I woke up. It oddly reminds me of how Leo would wake me up when I was late for training. And that memory stabs my heart, but I hold onto it, because while it destroys me it also brings me warmth, remembering the past after the nothingness and despair that has surrounded me for so long. Plus, I never know when I could lose that memory, if I will ever fully be gone._

_I tell myself to try to move, try to speak, try to hear. My vocal cords move and buzz as I talk, letting me know I must have said something, I just didn't hear it. I'm still blind. At least, I like to think I am. If I think that I have my sight back and the whole place is just dark, the doubt would crush me. No, better to have a final answer than to not have one at all. As for moving, I can't tell. I don't feel anything, I'm stuck to the ground._

_I feel myself about to panic again, I don't think I can ever stop myself from doing so, but something stops me. Something different. Not an outside feeling, no. Every sense was the same as before._

_But something is not the same as it was before. Something inside of me feels strange. And then it starts to surround my body, even though I can still not move. It stops me from panicking, and I don't know why. It makes me feel at peace, assured, wanted. It felt nice, and distracted me from the reminder of the loss of senses._

_I try desperately to discover what has given me something new, and something that doesn't seem torturous, unlike my deafness, or paralysis- that is what I finally decided to call it, seeing it has no other name. _

_I ponder what this is for a few more seconds, when I finally come to the conclusion that it is an emotion. A new one. One I have not felt since I have arrived into this horrible place. I rack my brain, trying to find out that distinctive word that I haven't thought of in a while. . ._

_Kindness._

_That's the word. That amazing yet in some cause horrible word. In my opinion, that word is the reason I am stuck here. I did this for my family, so they could be protected and feel happy. That came out of my kindness. And maybe I should blame that stupid word, no, I've been saying that word, that__** emotion**__, but I don't. Deep down, I know I had no other choice. Even if I didn't do this for their happiness, I had to do it to protect them. If I told them what would happen the night so long ago, Shredder would come for them next, and they would be here. Tortured, by their own mind, like me. Pretty ironic, really, how the mind can protect you and keep you sane, yet kill you off bit by bit._

_I stay still, at least I think I am, focusing on the rare emotion, because I never know when I will feel it again. I absorb it all up, taking it all in-_

_And it's gone. No, not exactly gone, something has just been added. My memory stirs up, and I know I should know what I'm feeling, I've had this combination of emotions so many times before. It reminds me of when I got sick or got hurt, and my brothers would be there with me, taking care of me and comforting me when we were younger._

_It's concern. Yes, that's it! I miss it, I haven't felt it in a while, at least, it feels like a while. It depends on how long I have actually been stuck in this nothingness._

_It confuses me why it is so hard to pinpoint this emotion, it shouldn't be, no matter how long it's been, and it couldn't have been that long, at least, not long enough to forget certain emotions. I try to think why, but I can't really focus at this moment. Almost all my attention goes to these two emotions, I want to grasp it, I want to keep it in my cage of my heart and never let it go. I don't feel as scared as before, if I'm really stuck here, I want to feel like this forever. Because I think it is the closest thing to ever feeling better here._

_I really wish I could discover the source of these two emotions, I need to know where they come from, why they are here, and when they are leaving. Will they cause change? Is this a sign? Or is this one of Shredder's tricks? That would make sense, actually, where else would it come from?_

_This is one of the moments where I question the quote about hope and fear. See, why would I have hope, if it just crushes me and hurts even more when I'm so close to finding out the truth? It doesn't make sense. . .but I have to trust in the past, and what it told me. That's all I have left, after all. There doesn't seem like any future. And, there is no present. Is there even time here, in this nothingness? I don't know, but I know I'll have a lot of time to think about that._

_My breath hitches all of a sudden, something is so different. Something is so new! I didn't know whether to be scared, happy, or fearful, but mostly I am confused. Nevertheless, this is the most emotion I have felt since I got here. Today –if there even is such a thing as today here- is so weird, and new. I try to tell myself that this is Shredder's tricks, that he is trying to do this to me on purpose, but hope bursts out of me. I guess my heart was looking for just the right timing to seize this emotion and take control of it. Well, it seems as if my brothers were right about one thing. Hope is so much stronger than fear. My hope is throwing that in fear's face right now._

_There is a gut feeling in me, saying something is about to happen. Could it be right, or is my hope just hallucinating me, making me delusional? _

_And what could possibly happen? Nothing could…except something bad. _

_Wait a minute, I realize something. In every one of these gut feelings something torturous would happen to me. Becoming blind, gaining deafness, getting paralyzed, every single time, I would get a gut feeling just like this one. No, what if something happens to me again? No, I can't, not another. I could barely deal with blindness, I can't do another. Please!_

_As of someone out there hears my prayer, kindness and concern spreads throughout me, specifically starting in what I am guessing is my hands, since that's where I first felt it. Now this is something new coming from my gut feelings, these emotions never came to me the last few times. Does that mean something, or am I just looking for any detail to calm me down? For a second I wonder why I am being so blunt with myself with these emotions, but that is just my mind wandering to another subject, and I focus back to my original thought._

_These emotions have still not left me, how long will they stay, and are they for good or bad? And why are they here? Those are my main questions right now, but I have no answers, and I don't know if I ever will. Is this how Donnie usually feels, with unanswered questions? An extra, not so hurting emotion travels throughout me, and I feel warmth at the memory of him stressing out when he couldn't figure an experiment out. Yes, I need those memories. I need to keep them. And I will. I feel myself grab that precious memory and lock it away for safe keeping, buried deep within. Hopefully, no one can read and take control of it, as they did to my mind._

_Do these emotions mean change? Do they-_

_No, I'm tired of asking unanswered questions. For now, I will take in these emotions, before they leave me, something this welcoming and kind can not last forever, not in this horrid place it can't. But before I silence my mind the best I could, one more though makes itself shown._

_Why does this happen now?_

**Splinter's POV**

I woke up from my dreamless sleep not too long ago, my body finally not being able to handle it. I know I should be getting my rest, but I know I'm lucky, and a bit surprised, knowing I got the hour and forty-five minutes of rest that I did.

Now that I am all alone, in this quiet room, doubts and fear flows into my brain, and for one of the first times in my life, I can't block it out. My family's life depends on me getting them out, and if I fail, their nightmares, their troubles, our hope, will all be for nothing. _Our_ family will be nothing but a distant past.

I hear footsteps arriving, and a hesitant knock echoes from my door into the soft l illuminated room. April walks in the room, and I am glad both teenagers had the common sense to both not come. Common sense was a rare treasure these days.

"Master Splinter, it's time to- Wait! Aren't you suppose too be resting?" She asked, hands on her hips, a disapproving glare taking place in her eyes, and for a minute, I felt as if our roles of child and Master have been switched.

"I have gotten more than enough rest. Now, enough talk, it should be time to get my sons out of here." I state, and walk out of the room, with worry bubbling in my stomach. We did not have the time to argue, we needed to act.

"But…we barely even did talk." I hear April mutter, following me. I guess I am doing and saying things a bit rushed today, but I cannot help it if my actions match my beating heart, rapid and nervous.

I step into the room where my four sons laid, and I immediately knew they had done their jobs correctly. Michelangelo's aura has lighten, I could sense it, and if I were to be honest with myself, I never would have expected it to turn lighter, just calmer. I wonder what they have done to succeed this way, and why it does not feel…as natural as it should…

That worries me, but I must concentrate on the task at hand, helping me sons escape from the horror they have gone through.

"Master Splinter?" April questions, and I understand what she is asking.

"You and Casey can stay here, April. I need help once the process is done, just try not to disturb me, please, because any interruption may disrupt the process, and end up in consequences we do not want to face." I warn, getting a nod saying that they understood my instructions.

Without another word, I place myself down in front of the bodies of my three oldest sons. Focusing, I begin the process.

_Focus on the three bodies before you. Call their souls, contact them. Bring them back where they belong, in their bodies, in their mind. Focus on the crown Chakra once more, imagine its purple light calling back their souls._

_Wind so rough it seemed as it belonged in a storm started spreading, and I could have sworn the room has just gotten ten times chiller than before. But not cold enough, the signal must be stronger. Come on Yoshi, focus._

_The Chakra's light is absorbing them, taking their spiritual self to their original body, back where they belong._

_It took all my energy, all my strength, to make the chakras call out their light, putting everyone's self where their physical bodies laid, including Michelangelo._

_Slowly, their spiritual souls starting forming, a misty blue creeping up into the air, as if they were in slow motion._

_Yes, the Crown Chakra started to get bigger and grow brighter, calling the spirits back, knowing it needs them back to live on. The process flows on slowly, but surely, but, my energy drains out by the second, this was obviously zapping away more of my strength than I realized it would._

_But I should be able to hold this up, I need to get them back, once I get the chakras into full motion, then their spiritual self's just have to do the rest-_

_No, all of a sudden, something seems terribly wrong. Something is fighting back. An emotion, I sense one of the aura's have a different color mixed into them, but who, and why? I told them to stay calm, and to let Michelangelo know to block out all emotions as best as he could, or else this wouldn't work._

_Feeling each of my son's aura while trying to bring their spiritual self back is complicated and tiring, but I must know who is feeling this emotion so I can work harder to bring them back._

_Michelangelo's. I honestly did not expect him to be devoid of emotion, who knows how it was like for him, but why is it so strong? Didn't the brothers explain to him? And what confuses me the most is why is his aura yellow, the color of curiosity. If things were explained, he should not have such a strong curiosity for what is going on around him._

_Either way, this is making my job much more difficult, how am I suppose too bring him back if his other emotions keep fighting back at me? The chakras will not take their spiritual self and place them in the body like this, it just doesn't work that way._

_But, I know here and now that his curiosity is too strong to tame and it won't be settled unless he gets whatever will quench his inquisitiveness._

_I must work with it, I must get them out._

_So I focus, harder than any man has ever focused before, though I knew I was pushing myself past my limits. But I couldn't stop. Not now. Not ever. Not until I get them out._

_I _have_ to._

**Shredder's POV**

_No, why must Hamato Yoshi weaken now at all times, if he does not take the youngest out, my whole plan will be for nothing. How will it move forward if the brothers are stuck in the youngest one's mind?_

_It seems as if I have to be…generous in this situation, and add a little strength to him…of course, not mine._

_I call my two scientist that have helped get me where I am._

"Ms. Willow, Mr. Black." I call through my ear piece, authority covering every ounce of my throat.

"Yes, Master?" Morgan Willow responded, voice firm and steady, never giving away any emotion.

"Lower the settings on invention 16 C." I command.

"Master, are you sure that is wise? It may over heat from the sudden change in settings." This time, Obsidian Black's voice came through from the ear piece. This one was the one always questioning my authority. I would get rid of him if it weren't for the fact that he was the only one who knew how to be invention 16 C together. Morgan was the scientist, Obsidian was the engineer, I was the Master. The others, they did nothing for me right now.

"Yes! I'm sure, or else I wouldn't have said so! Next time don't question my authority!" I bark. I think I know enough of my own plan to know what's right to do in this situation or not. They don't even know the whole plan yet. It takes a lot to earn my trust, they haven't succeeded in that yet.

Obsidian still sounds hesitant, but agrees anyways. "Yes, Master. Sorry, Master. It won't happen again." He replies, and the speaker goes silent.

Suddenly, things get clearer and brighter, and my senses work in overdrive, taking aware of everything around me. Good, that means they have done their job.

"Good. Now let me finish, continue working on project MB3, and work hard. We don't have all the time in the world." I snap.

"Yes, Master." Both voices reply simultaneously, and the line goes silent.

"Let's see if Hamato Yoshi can figure this one out." I mumble, and march out to the room, to prepare for the next stage of the plan.

**Donnie's POV**

_Nausea coursed through my body, and the urge to retch was almost irresistible. The world was spinning as if it were the world's quickest top, and my spiritual body felt as if it were being stretched and twisted into every way imaginable._

_This went on for who knows how long, getting worse by the second, but then, almost immediately, like a camera's unexpected flash, the world stopped, and the nauseating feeling faded away for the most part. I felt more grounded to the world, I wasn't floating anymore, just lightly drifting._

Slowly, I opened my eye just a crack, but instantly snapped it closed when the light in the room decided to invade my eye with its razor sharp brightness. It was times like this where I wished I was momentarily blind.

I closed my eyes for a couple more seconds, first calmly still, then feeling antsy, and then suddenly I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to know what happened, I needed to know where I was.

As if we were a movie set to the highest level of slow motion, I break my eyes apart, forcing them to adjust to the piercing light.

Carefully cracking the other one open, I rubbed at my eyes and blink a few times, and everything came into focus.

The lair was in place and so was…

Wait, the lair! We….we weren't it that empty freaky place anymore! We were home!

Not trusting my sight, I put my hand on the rugged floor, half expecting it to dissolve and some random hobo to come out and yell "April Fools!"

But, no. I felt the solid ground, it didn't turn into thin air and no freaky hobo came out, admitting he had played a prank on me…I've been hanging around with Mikey _way _too long. . .

It scared me how slow the realization came to me, and only when I let it firmly take place in my head is when I full reacted.

Mikey! The whole reason we left the lair! Did…did we succeed? Did we bring him home?

I shot up, that thought fueling me, and the realization that it was probably a bad idea to shoot up like that with my pounding head came, and disappeared almost as quickly. If we didn't succeed, but I didn't take action, it would all be for nothing, and then a pounding head would be the least of worries.

Blinking away the last remainder of blurry spots, I quickly scan the lair, trying to remember what direction the infirmary was facing, and then once I got my navigation straight, dashed to the infirmary's door. I past my brothers, and for a second I pondered if I should bring them with me, but they still seemed in more of a daze than me, and if time was needed, I didn't have any to spare. So instead, I gave them a quick little wave, though I was not sure they could see it, or anything right now, and continued racing to the infirmary.

I finally reached the door, and it wasn't until now that a wave of nervousness and hesitation washed over me. What would I find? What did I even expect to find? Would it be anything good, anything we were wishing and hoping for? How would I be able to tell?

I stood there, hand grasping the door knob but, refusing to turn it, and I finally decided it was too late to think this through. I knew whatever happened, I had to be in that room, and I needed to be in it _now_. Or something I was most definitely regret might happen. I would just have to go with the flow, and deal with whatever awaited me behind that door.

So for the first time ever, I didn't think things through.

Turning the knob before I could find an additional reason not to, I pushed the door open with my shoulder, and took a step into the room.

And right then and there, my knees turned to jelly, and I would've almost fell if it wasn't for the wall that was there to catch me.

Mikey still laid in his bed, the sheets organized the way they were, the snow white pillow still slightly crooked to the left side, Mikey still out in his original position.

Except his chest rose and fell, and the cardiac monitor was beeping along with the heart, at the rate any healthy person would. And the most freaky part was that his baby blue eyes were wide open, staring at the creamy white wall so hard, I thought he was trying to burn it down.

I honestly didn't know what to expect, but I definitely didn't expect this. After all we have gone through, I still didn't think that once we got there it was going to be as easy as bringing him back to be alive. No CPR? No nightmares? No screaming? It just didn't seem right. Yet, here it was. And here it's happening.

I made a hastened dash towards the cardiac monitor, just to make sure this wasn't some sick, cruel joke. As a kid, I would have thought life couldn't be that merciless, but over the years, I've been proven wrong.

But, no. The heart monitor was beeping, the readings told me so. Now, there was just one more thing I had to check. But not without my brothers. I couldn't.

I glanced at the door, knowing I should go out and get them, but I was scared that if I left, all of this would disappear, like a dream does when you first wake up.

Luckily, I didn't have too, because all of a sudden Leo and Raph staggered in. They looked exhausted and confused, but anticipation, worry, and panic took over their eyes. I wondered if that was how I first looked like when I finally got the strength to get up and walk from our journey. Though now that I put some thought into it, that probably wasn't the safest nor best idea.

"Donnie, there you are! We were-" Leo started, but I scooted over to the side, letting them see the sight I saw when I first arrived. Both of their mouths went agape, and I knew that would be their reaction, this was truly unbelievable.

"But...how...huh?" Raph stuttered, shock not allowing him to state a full sentence.

"I don't know, I got here, and..." I trailed off.

We just kept staring at Mikey, and I know our initial shock was blocking our true emotions. I knew, later on, we would burst into tears, scream from joy, and all pile in and hug Mikey. But for right now, we didn't know what to do, what move to make. We just stood there, like a bunch of idiots, not sure what to say. And the peculiar part was, Mikey also just kept staring ahead. It seemed as if he were ignoring us, he wasn't even looking at us. Maybe he was in shock too? But wouldn't he at least take a glance at us, acknowledge us?

In the end, I knew I would have to make the first move. It kind of made sense, I was the smart one, I would be the closest one to knowing that to do in this situation. This was my area, this is where _I _was leader.

I knew I should walk up to him, or do _something_. But there were three things missing. Three important things. Yes, even the last one.

"Father? April? Casey? Where are they?" I ask.

"They were past out on the floor, all three of them. I don't understand why." Leo responded, shaking his head in confusion.

_Pass out? Why? What did they possibly do that could make them all pass out. And why now, of all times?_

No, I don't have time to dwell on this. I have to make a move with Mikey, and now. I guess all three of us...no...all _four_ of us, had to do this on our own.

I take a few tentative steps towards my younger brother, and I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding when Leo and Raph follow me. Knowing they would just be standing next to me as I decide what to do will make things easier, even if they aren't actually helping or giving advice.

My palms started getting sweaty, and I hastily wiped them on my knee. I can't get more nervous than I am, then it will be even harder to think of what to do, and there was more of a probability I would mess up…whatever I was trying to do.

I take notice that I am standing next to Mikey's get, literally inches away from him, and I feel fearful, yet hopeful. There is no time to think of what to do anymore, I must take a move, whatever I do, and do it now.

Slowly, I grab his hand, and rub it with my finger. It's warm and feels a bit rough, as it always did. It wasn't cold and lifeless, like before. That made me want to cry, but no tears arrived in my eyes, instead, a nameless emotion ate at my gut.

"Mikey?" I say, a little louder than I intended too. _Donnie, any of your brothers could have said his name! Nice going genius, now do something that will help!_ I scold myself.

Oddly, I get no reaction, no response, no recognition. _Just like before._

No, that was in the past. Thing weren't right there, that wasn't reality, that didn't make sense. This is different, this _is_ reality.

"Mikey, I need you to respond." I command, or at least, I hope it sounds like a command. I hope I am sounding like I know what I want, that I actually knowing what I am doing.

Still no answer.

I felt an odd sense of deja vu, this has happened before. Or at least, is extremely similar to what happened before. That memory of no response scared me, and I wasn't able to shove it completely down this time.

"Mikey, I need you to answer!" I exclaim, and I lost control of my voice, making it sound panicky. I couldn't help it, I honestly couldn't. Just remembering the memory, and feeling the once old fear fresh again was too strong.

"Don, what's wrong?" Leo asked, in his calm leader voice I envied. How does he do it, he does he teach his voice that _he_ is the master, and that _it_ does everything he says? My voice won't listen to me, why does his?

Taking a deep breath, I answer the best I could. Which wasn't very good. "I don't know. He should at least respond. His eyes are opened, his heart is beating, the machine says the readings are fine." I answer, taking a glance at the machine to make sure nothing changed. Nope, as far as I could tell, everything was fine. Of course, that machine can only record certain things. Could something else be wrong?

"So in other words, you don't know what is wrong?" Raph asks, and I'm scared that he may turn hysterical. It wouldn't be the first time, especially when it comes to his brothers.

"Raph!" Leo whispered-shouted harshly, jabbing him in the ribs, and sending me an apologetic glance. But I don't blame Raph, he gets like that, and why wouldn't he? We went through hell and back, and now, at this point of our journey, I'm telling him something is wrong. Anyone would act like that. In fact, I'm surprised Leo can keep his composure in a situation like this, and I wonder how long it will take him to finally crack or turn panic-stricken, either one.

"Relax, maybe he just can't see us." I try to reason, but is comes out desperate and pathetic.

They don't argue against my point, but I already know they don't believe it. They're not stupid, they can tell a white lie when they see one.

Abruptly, Mikey's eyes move left from right, and his hand moves up for a split second, and if no one looked close enough, they wouldn't have been able to notice the sudden change. But we were, and we did.

"Mikey!" All three of us exclaim at the same time. Despite the circumstances, it kind of felt nice, saying our youngest brother's name together at the same time. It made me feel like we were more connected…united.

"Hello?" Mikey calls out.

"Mikey we're here bro!" Raph shouts, and turns to run to him, but I pull him back. As much as I want to embrace him too, something feels off. After working on my brother's injuries so log, plus being a ninja, you learn to notice the small things, and your sixth sense gets stronger. You notice small hints and signs floating in the air, calling out to you. And right now is no exception.

Raph looks at me, a broken look on his face, like a five year old who just lost its puppy, and it breaks my heart to stop him, but for some reason I just _had _to. What perplexes me is why he listens to me, maybe it's because he knows I know best in this situation, even though right now, I secretly don't know much of anything at all.

"Mikey, I need you to do that again" I say, telling myself I told him to do that because I had to do it for some medical reason. But buried deep into the dusty file cabinets of my brain, I know the real reason. I have to see him move again, I can't handle just seeing him lie there anymore. It makes me frightened, and I hate it, I want to destroy my stupid fear, but I can't, fear is a natural part of my body and it feels as if it could show up whenever it likes. It can take a thing as silly as seeing my brother lay down, to making me remember that we saw our little brother _die_ in front of our eyes, laying the same exact way. It wasn't expected to see him like that once more after we had so much hope of bringing him back.

Then, as if going back in time, I get no response once more.

"Why isn't he answering? He obviously could speak, and his eyes are working, so why? _Why?_" Raph cries, angrily, turning to me, wearing an expression needy for answers. It worries me, how much Raph is shaken up like this, there are few times in my life that I have and ever will see him like this, and this is one of the few. And of course, the one time it does happen, I don't have what he needs to calm down. I don't have answers. Ad it kills me inside, tears apart my bones, rips my heart to shreds, especially for something as important as this, with our whole family riding it. But I don't. And for the moment, I don't see anything that can change that _if he doesn't even acknowledge us._

I realize Raph, now joined with Leo, are staring at me, waiting for me to do what I always did, make the situation and understanding better by giving them answers.

But for their first time in their lives, they'll be disappointed.

"I'll figure it out." I state. Saying that, it made it so much easier than saying "I don't know," out loud. But they get what I mean, and they finally come to the realization of things.

"So…you don't know." Leo whispers, and I wouldn't have caught it if I wasn't looking out for that statement.

"Yeah, Leo. To put it short, that's exactly it." I reply sadly. No use in denying the truth, not when they figured it out.

I stare at each of my brothers, wanting to see their reaction to the news I shared. Leo looks defeated, confused, but he doesn't seem angry, almost…understanding…Raph, on the other hand. He was about to blow.

"But I can figure it out." I repeat quickly. I can't have him raging at me, complaining how I'm suppose to be the smart one of this group. I know that, I don't need to hear it from one of my own family members. Not now.

Raph still looked furious, face turning red, breath coming out panted and angry. He doesn't look any more settled with my lame excuse of assurance.

"You'll have to trust me on that." I say quietly, gazing at him softly. _I have to trust myself on that._

Those few words seemed to carry a miracle, for they lowered his anger level, which was nearly impossible in a case like this, Slowly, his features changed. Sure, he still had that enraged look in his eyes, and his faced still glowed red, but it was as if the atmosphere around him had changed. Still angry, yes, but at the same time, more trusting. More hopeful that things would change. That I would actually figure things out. Now, I just have to hope that I could actually show him I meant what I said. The problem was, I had no idea where to begin…

We are stare sadly at the figure of our brother, looking for some movement, some reaction, some change.

This time, luck wasn't on our side.

**Mikey's POV**

_That's it, I had enough of waiting. Nothing good nor bad happened, the emotion I had didn't mean anything. I came to that conclusion a few minutes ago._

_I tried speaking, I tried looking, I tried speaking. Still nothing. _

_This was the part I was talking about, where having hope was hard. Where that hope had failed you, and it all comes tumbling down on you like a bunch of bricks. _

_To think, that I actually though something may happen, something would change. That the emotion I felt might have lead to something that actually did me some good, it was all ridiculous. That didn't mean anything different. That was me, being desperate in a hopeless situation, looking for something, _anything _that would help._

_I was wrong._

_I'm still here, in this nothingness._

_Nothing has changed._

***Before you smart people come and tell me people who are blind don't have eye colors, don't even go there. I did my research! That only happens when your cortex is affected, and in a natural situation. Is what happening to Mikey seem any what natural to you?! Not enough good explanation? Fine, we'll say the cortex is affected. Sorry for those who didn't even notice that, xd. You never know when those picky people show up. (Not that I don't appreciate if you point that out, just wanted you guys to know! Don't have nothing against picky people! ;) )**

***eye starts twitching* That's…that's it! I'm done with the chapter? Finally…for real? Are you serious? This isn't a joke?**

**YES! 10,700 WORDS WRITTEN ALL IN ONE CHAPTER! Thank you world, THANK YOU! I'M FINALLY DONE! I think you can see that me being a slow typer + 10,600 words= long wait for readers. Sorry about the wait guys, but I honestly did not expect this chapter to be that long! Well, it's long considered to me, in fact, it's the longest chapter I've written in anything. Don't know about you guys.**

**Questions, comments, concerns, constructive criticism, go ahead! Please guys, review, I really tried hard to make a 10,700 WORD chapter flow well! It can even be like, I don't know, a little emoji or something, like my winky face I usually put at the end of my A/N! **

**Speaking of winky faces, see ya! ****_;)_**** (See guys, that's not so hard!, xd)**


	16. Chapter 16: Before and After

**Hi everyone! I'm sorry to say that my update schedule won't exactly take longer, but they will come at more random times. Due to some unexpected problems, life just took a turn, and I don't know how that will affect my writing schedule. I'm not even sure how updates will be in Summer (Which is in three days). So yeah, I'm sorry for this. Hope you can forgive the weird writing schedule, but hope this heads up does some good. Again, so sorry. **

**But, for now, onto the next chapter! **

**Splinter's POV**

_I feel so exhausted yet so alive. Energy rushes out of me, wasting no time to leave my body and travel into my sons, as if I were some horrifying beast that captured it and it needed to escape. But, at the same time, the thought to see what was going around powered me. Throughout the whole process, the memory and thoughts of the of seeing my sons, all of them, stuck onto my brain, and I never forgot it, no matter how exhausting the process was. Now that it was over, my brain felt like it needed to see the results, after all the energy it gave away as a price. The problem was, my mind knew the need to see the results were stronger than my exhaustion. But, my body wouldn't comply._

_'Come on Yoshi, get up!' My mind commanded, but my body wasn't being obedient, not after the journey I made it join with my mind, and stayed still._

_'Do not just lay there, your sons may be alive, or dead! You could have messed up greatly, and when you look back, all you'll remember yourself doing is laying down. Is that what you want?' My mind scolded with the little energy it had. It was being smart, that had done the trick._

_'No, I won't let that happen.' _I tell myself, and then, with extreme difficulty, peak open one eye. Blurriness clouds my vision, and swirls of different soft colors blend together, as if mixing paint.

"Hmmm?" Is all I am able to make out, before my vocal cords give up on me. Opening the other eye, I blink firmly for a few seconds, and peel them apart once more. To my satisfaction, the colors separated, though it wasn't much, I was able to make out the basic shape of each object.

A rectangle for the walls and floor, a square for the soft rug I was lying on, a stick for something that was…looking over at me…and moving? What was that thing? Have I ever even seen that figure before?

"Uh…" I mumble, closing my eyes fiercely once more, and then forcing them apart. I preformed this action repeatedly, until the room had no choice but to focus in each time, and allowing my senses to venture out every time. Sounds now joined the once silent and confusing atmosphere.

"Are you-"

_Am I what?_

" . . .up!"

_What does that mean? What about the direction? Why are my ears letting me know things that I cannot understand?_

". . .boys need. . ."

_What do you mean…The boys! As in my sons? What, what about them? Are they alright? What do they need?_ I thought frantically. Somehow, my senses went into full blast after hearing that, as if all thoughts of exhaustion had diminished into thin air, being replaced with a sense of worry and urgency.

Gasping, I feel myself shot up, but not without the price of a stabbing migraine. Grunting, I ignore it, and try to push myself up, not even caring about my surroundings any longer. But, a soft object pushed me down to my original position. In any other moment, I would be able to easily fight against it, but the only thing my energy focused on was getting to my sons. It wasn't prepared for any additional obstacles, and it couldn't find any additional strength to fight it and win. But that didn't stop me from trying.

"Let go. Must…see…sons." I pleaded. Never in my entire life have I felt so not in control of my emotions. I couldn't hide them, couldn't pretend. I wasn't the rat I was a few days ago. It felt so out of character, but I wasn't in charge of my emotions. The need to see my sons was the boss, and if losing control of my emotions was the price, so be it. I _had_ to see them.

That thought had somehow triggered an unexpected reaction, and a foggy mass of worry covered me and all my surroundings.

"Master Splinter! Calm down, you'll see them, they're alright, they're fine! Just…_calm down._" A voice called out, but it seemed like a whisper compared to the sound of my beating heart. I didn't process what this person said, all it was, was a bunch of sounds. This fear, this worry, this anticipation, it was all so stronger now that it wasn't hidden inside. It blocked out everything that didn't seem to be any use to it.

Hands pressed me down, restraining me from moving. For a moment, I was back in time. In the fire. Trying to navigate myself around, trying to find Miwa and Tang Shen. Nothing else mattered. Then, I fought the Shredder. Like I was fighting whoever was holding me down, keeping me from seeing my loved ones.

Fear set fire to my bones, burning them down to nothing but ashes. The past mixed with the present combined, making a new world of emotions I wished I would never have to travel through. For this moment, there were only two periods of my life. Before the fire, and After the fire. There were no in between. And those two halves of my life blended into one, and I couldn't tell the difference. Someone holding me away from my loved ones, a need to find results, what was the difference? There was none.

"No! Let me go! I have to see them!" I say, sounding like a broken child. But I don't notice it. I don't notice anything but what's holding me down, and a way to escape.

"Splinter, listen to me! You have to calm down, they're fine! Please, relax!" The voice begged. It sounded genuine, but why would it keep me from seeing my family other than it being against me? Where was a logical reason to stop me other than that?

Demanding in a fierce voice, I scream. "I don't care what you say! Let me go, I have done nothing to you! _You're just as bad as Saki!_"

The room goes oddly silent, the creature didn't make any sound. But whatever is holding me down is still there, I feel it. Pressing down on me, fighting me, keeping me away. Just like the past. Just like Shredder.

Then, the voice rings clear throughout my clouded thoughts once more. "Master Splinter, _it's April!_ April O'Neil. I'm not going to hurt you! I don't know what's making you act like this, but you might scare the boys if they see you like this! So I need you to take a few deep breathes, close your eyes, relax, and open then again."

Something in the sounds makes my brain focus, no matter how confused and panicked I was.

_April._ That word shines bright, like a star in complete darkness. _That name. _I know that name, it's different. It's different than the restraint, its different from the fire, it's different from the betrayal.

Something in my mind clicks, and I feel my body do as it was told, as if suddenly as the fight had left me. The voice controlled my actions. Struggling greatly, I force my breaths to make my chest rise and fall in a more rhythmic motion, until each breath I took was almost symmetrical. What once was a semi-blurry image turns to darkness, notifying that I closed my eyes. Keeping my breaths the same as before, I slowly open them, and instead of fogginess, the world comes out in high definition. It startles me, how bright the world abruptly became, when I was expecting slow forming images at first.

Still struggling to keep the pattern of my breaths, my eyes slowly scan the room. Now that I have calmed down a bit, is when proper thoughts start flowing through my head.

_What are you so worked up about? What has gotten into you? That wasn't you, not even the one you keep hidden. So why, why were you acting so frightened?_

Sadly, my mind didn't hold any answers for my questions.

"Master Splinter?" The voice called out again, winning my attention.

Following the direction the sound of the voice gave me, I looked up, seeing who had spoken. Red hair, soft blue eyes, yellow shirt…

My brain ties the two and two together. April, she looks like that, she wears that. It's not merged in. She had nothing to do with my poast. I feel my brain clear up a little, and my mind is able to separate the Before and After even more.

Oruko Saki was Before.

_Deep breaths._

The fire was Before.

_Relax._

The death was Before.

_It's all in your head._

April O'Neil was not.

_Before and After are two different times._

"April?" I ask, finding my voice strangely strong. I expected it to come out in a raspy whisper, but apparently, with my calming, comes strength.

"Master Splinter? Master Splinter! Are you…okay?" She says "okay" in an odd way. As if "okay had so much more meaning behind it, but there was no way to tell me. Either that, or there is a way, but she's not elaborating.

"Yes…yes. I am fine." A questioning, almost frightened, look takes place on April's face, but she seems to let it slide. But she makes no movements, staring at me, or through me. Why is she looking at me like that? What had I done to make her look so nervous, scared, and…betrayed?

Hey eyes burn through my head, seeming to scan my heart, soul, and mind. She knows something is up, she knows something happened in my mind. I can feel it. It's written all over her face.

But, it was obvious she wasn't going to say anything, all her focus centered on my eyes. But I couldn't wait, now that the past panic was once again in my control. She said the boys were here, and they were fine. But I had to see it. It wasn't my fault. I was their father and Sensei, I brought them back from what could have been doom. How can I not have the urge to see my sons?

I waste no time in questioning her, I'm in semi-control, which is enough. I seized the moment.

"April, you said the boys. As in: my sons. You said they were fine, and I have to see that. Can I see them?" I ask, now perfectly control in my voice. That's peculiar. Only a few minutes ago it was cracking and begging. In changed so quickly, but there was no time too dwell on that. It meant nothing in this moment.

"Oh." April whispered, shaking her head, breaking the unnerving stare. "Oh!" She said a bit louder, as if fully back in reality now.

"Are you…" She trails off. _Am I what? What did you see April? How did I look like that is making you so unsure?_

Whatever the reason, I have to see my sons. If I tell her I am alright, would that be enough? Even though I do not know what she witnessed or heard while I was stuck in Before and After, could I convince her? It would kill me if I didn't try.

"April, I promise, I am fine." I say, looking her in the eyes, hoping I can fool her. _Am I really fine until I see my sons? Until I know what she is so worked up about? What she saw?_

She still seems unsure. But I have to convince her. I have to see my sons. In another case, I would go anyways, but my body is in a state of exhaustion I've never experienced before this, no matter how alive my mind now feels. The panic that once fueled me is gone. I can't go anywhere with her in the way. But I couldn't just do nothing, so I plead.

"April, do I have a reason to lie? You told me I might scare my sons, and after they went through, would I really want to do that? That would make me no better than the horrors they saw in their mind. But, I'm their father. They need to see me. _I need to see them. _Trust me, I'm alright." I must have sounded much more sure than I felt, because her features relaxed, though not completely. She still looked untrusting, but there was nothing I could do at the moment. After a few seconds, she hesitantly reached out her hand to pull me up, which I accept. I try to act like I don't notice her unblinking stare. Staggering, I grab her shoulder, trying to steady myself. My legs feel like my body weight is too much for it to handle, but the determination and help from my young student keeps my going.

Silence fills the room as we slowly walk to where my sons must be, when April abruptly stops, almost tripping me in the process. But she doesn't seem to notice, instead tearing her glare away from me-for the first time in the last few moments- and took long, deep breaths.

"Master Splinter, before I show you...I…ah…I have to tell you something." April nervously informs me.

_No! I was so close to seeing them, the door, it's a few steps away from us!"_ Desperation courses through my veins, but I take a deep breath. I have to show my pupil that I am myself again, patient, ready to hear what she has to say. Showing anything otherwise may ruin my chance.

"Yes, April?"

She takes a deep breath, and with what seems great difficulty, looks at me in the eyes, though it isn't the look she wore earlier. I think I would have preferred that stare over the look she was giving me now.

"Your sons returned, and they are alright. And Mikey's heart is beating. But…the procedure didn't work. He won't respond, he won't do anything. He seems…dead. Lost. Not here.

We didn't bring him back."

**Now, don't go, "That was so short!" Or, "This chapter meant nothing! It was so short and meaningless! Like a filler!" Because you're wrong. This chapter is so important, probably the most important chapter I've written. I needed you to put all your focus on this chapter, or what I'm planning really won't mean anything. I can't have any other events without getting this chapter in. Trust me, I'll explain everything in time.**

**Remember, my writing schedule will be messed up. Like, greatly. I haven't updated in three weeks because it's been, well, crazy. But I thing I can handle this now, and updates will come, like, what? A week, maybe two earlier than this? Yes, probably. I'll try.**

**And finally, 100 FOLLOWERS! 90 FAVORITES! 165 REVIEWS! 17,112 VIEWS! YOU. GUYS. ARE. AMAZING! Thank you so much! Can you imagine, and on my first story too! A MILLION THANK YOUS! **

**See ya! ;)**


	17. Chapter 17: Soul Shut Down

**Hi, everyone. So yeah, I already explained how life took a turn, family problems, blah, blah, blah, so yeah. I'm not going to explain why this is late. I warned you guys. I'll tell you guys when things get better, and when to expect better updates. :)**

**On a better note, at least for me-lol, sorry guys, don't see how this is any good for you- our family decided that we need a break, 'cause life has been too crazy. So we talked to all of our other family members, they say they take care of it for a week, and our family is going to take me and my siblings on vacation on Saturday, TO A HOTEL, for a whole week! They said we're going to two Disney park and spend the rest of the week at the beach! I'm so excited! They said they've been saving up for years! So yeah, that's the good part! But that means, another wait for you guys. :(**

**Oh gosh, long A/N, I'm going to cut it right here. Enjoy! ;)**

**April's POV**

It pulls at my heart, stabbing it until it's torn apart to pieces, to see Master's Splinter's reaction to the news I reluctantly shared with him. He doesn't deserve this, none of us do, but especially not him. He lost his humanity, his best friend, his daughter was raised by his former best friend, and now enemy, he almost lost his sons, multiple times, and so much more. Life being unfair, that was an understatement. This was life in full rage, getting revenge on us and tearing us apart until there is nothing but pain and failure. Why life had a reason to do that to us, I don't know. And if we did something so bad to deserve all of _this_, then part of me doesn't really want to know.

Master Splinter just stands there, frozen, a lost look in his eye. I've never seen him like this, and it's a sight I will never be able to erase from my memory. But the earlier one, the one I just saw a few moments ago, him struggling, thinking I'm the enemy, that will haunt me, not just stay in my memory. But I can't focus on that right now, there are more important matters to take upon. Such as finally granting my Sensei's wish, letting him see his sons.

"Master Splinter?" I grab his attention, and surprisingly, when he looks at me, the broken, frightened look is overpowered by a determined look, but I'm not fooled. In the corner of his eye, a pained tear lays there, but does not fall, and I know he will not let it. He knows who he is seeing next, he knows he has to brave. I sort of see where Leo gets it now, only showing weakness when alone.

"Can I?" He asks, as if I were the one in charge here, gesturing to the Infirmary door. Who am I, really, to have a say in what he can and cannot do? I'm not the Master, I'm the student. Yet, somehow, I guess in this situation, I sort of am the one in charge. I have witnessed a side to Master Splinter that I'm not sure anyone has, and he knows there is no reversing that. He also knows that I am aware of what lays behind this door. I know more of him, I know what's best for him. And aren't those the qualities those who are in charge have?

If I send him away saying he's not ready, would he listen to me? Would he fight me, like before? Well it didn't matter, that's not the decision I was going to make. He seems in control now, the panicky feeling that once filled the air is gone, now filled with sorrow and anticipation. And in all honesty, I don't think I would have had the heart to send him away, anyways. He deserves to see his sons, he needs to see his sons. And I'm sure the boys need to see him too. I know what lays beyond those doors will cause everyone to be together and need each other, including Leo, Raph, and Donnie, including me, including Casey, and including Master Splinter. Because what lays behind that infirmary door is a whole wave of confusion and hopelessness. I saw it. I was there. I know.

"Yes." I say, and my face is an open book, I'm sure Splinter has seen my expression while recalling what I saw when I first wokr up. And by his expression, I'm sure that he's nervous,-and dare I sat it?-scared, of what he is going to see when he opens that infirmary door.

Splinter, scared. Those are two words I never thought would go together.

My Sensei, and second father, slowly opens the door, a soft_ creak_ coming from it. For a split-second, I wonder if anything had changed since I woke up and saw the situation. Had things gotten worse? Or by a slim chance, better?

Door fully open now, my eyes take in the sight, and it was obvious things had gone downhill since I left to go check on Splinter, who was twitching, signifying he might wake up.

When I had left, it was horrible. Donnie was shining a light into Mikey's eye, Raph and Leo were checking out the heart monitor, Casey was putting water all over Mikey's visible body, the parts that weren't covered in bandages from Mikey's fight with the Shredder when he left. That seemed so long ago, and so simple, getting injured by the Shredder. It's weird to think how not too long ago that was our main concern, that situation seemed so much easier than the present one.

Now, it was madness. Candy that Donnie stored in his drawer-he would give to his brothers, mostly Mikey, if they didn't complain during a check up- was now being waved in front of Mikey's face. The sticky, grape flavor aroma floating up into his nostrils, the scent starting to drift off into the air. Raph was slapping Mikey, and Donnie must have told him too, because he wasn't stopping him. Water was now pouring down his head, and Mikey's body was being tickled everywhere. It didn't look like a medical procedure I was aware of. But despite the candy, the slaps, the water, and the tickling, there was no reaction. The only part of Mikey that moved was his eyes. Side to side, up and down, as if they were not in his control.

Probably hearing our footsteps, the three brothers and Casey turned around, a desperate look in every single one of their expressions.

We all stood frozen for a moment, staring at one another, seeing who would make the first move. If anyone else's role was switched with Mikey, and Mikey was here right now, he would run into Splinter's arm, embracing him and holding on to him like a four year old that had just experienced a traumatic nightmare, and desperately needed comfort. But Mikey wasn't here, so I wondered if one of the brothers would take his place.

Surprisingly, it wasn't Leo, or Donnie, or Raph who made the first move, but Splinter. He took each step, a calm expression, nothing like I saw a few moments ago. I wonder how some people do that. You may witness a part of them unknown to most, but in the next few moments, when they are in front of new people, they are their old self again, they are in control. Or at least, they act like they are. Either way, it still is confusing, once you have witnessed both sides of the person.

He went up to each son, embraced them tight, and whispered something in their ears, bringing a ghost of a smile upon their face. He even went to Casey, though not embracing him, whispering something in his ear while massaging his shoulders. Approaching me, he grabbed my shoulders, leaned in, and softly spoke in my ears: _We will not stop. We will march on. As family._

That brought comfort through me, despite the situation, and despite seeing the man Splinter just was. Maybe it was a lie, but I needed to hear it, the hopelessness in this room was already starting to consume me. But deep down, something told me it wasn't a lie, and I knew Splinter made sure of that. He didn't say whether we bring Mikey back or not, he'd say we will march on, making through whatever tough times brings our way. And that couldn't have been any more true.

"Now tell me exactly what's wrong." Splinter requested.

So that's what they did, the three brothers starting from their nightmares, continuing the story, switching narrators when one brother was struggling greatly to recall the memory. They ended with what they had explained to me when I first woke up, that Mikey wouldn't react to anything. He was the same as he was dead, just with his eyes open and heart beating.

"Oh..." Was all that Splinter said, trailing off into his own thoughts.

"What does it mean Master Splinter? Why is he doing this?" Leo question, voice steady, but eyes worried.

"Let me get a closer look at him." Splinter demanded, but it didn't sound like a demand, but more like an offer. He made it sound as if we actually had another choice.

"What are you going to do?" Donnie asked, his voice filled with curiosity. I feel my shoulders slightly relax at that, hearing Donnie still has a part of his self, the knowledge seeking. It doesn't feel like everything is lost. Though the curiosity is just to know how Splinter might save his brother, and it may not be just for him to have no knowledge, in the end, it is still curiosity.

"I'm going to try to see inside of him, see if I can spot anything different. Something to may stop him from reacting to what he should have." Sensei explained.

"Wait...didn't you say bringing Leo and his brothers back would take up a lot of energy? Can you even read someone without much strength?" I hesitantly questioned. I bit my tongue from asking. _Will it be safe? _It didn't matter if it were safe or if the cost is too high, this family, _my_ family is stubborn about their own well-being when it comes to the life of each other. But hr wasn't stupid, Splinter knew the question I was holding back.

"It will be a few seconds looking into him, and with physical contact. This isn't traveling, or trying to mentally contact him, it is simply reading him through hand to hand contact. Something that isn't too energy-consuming once you've trained multiple times, such as I have.

I still was doubtful, and looking at the guy's expression, they were too, but none of us stopped him. What choice did we have? What else could we have done?

Splinter walked over to his son, and carefully put his paw into his hand, closing his eyes. For a few moments, everyone stayed silent, staring at Splinter, and everything was still. Until his ear twitched, and his almond colored eyes appeared as he opened his eye lid. Splinter didn't seem worn out, just extremely confused.

"Dad?" Leo slowly asked, it being one of the times as he acknowledged Splinter not as a teacher or master, but as a parent.

"Something is not right. I don't understand, how is this possible?" Splinter muttered, his brow furrowed.

"Sensei...can you explain?" Raph asked, his vice lacking of its usual anger, instead filled with concern and interest.

"It is something I haven't seen before, and not the easiest to explain, but it seems as if some parts of his soul are turned off, while others are turned on. As you know, there are seven main parts of the soul. Self-image, relationship with others, relating to the world, morals and ethical practice, purpose and meaning of life, belief and faith, and religious experience and practice. And you also know that the soul, mind, and heart are all connected, and I correct?"

The five of us nod, urging Splinter to continue.

"Well, the relationship with others and relating to the world part of his soul has shut down. And as you are aware of the mind controls your senses, and your mind knows what to do because of each part of your soul. So if Michelangelo's soul has darkened in where relationship with others and relating to the world is stored, then his mind can't process it. And if his mind can't process it, he cannot see us, he isn't even aware that you are here. All because that part of his soul that lets him know and feel that information has shut down."

"Wait. So you are telling me, out of the seven parts of Mikey's soul, two have seem to somehow, shut own. And since they won't work, his mind is like, acting as if those two parts of his soul never existed? So, it's like since the soul doesn't contain some of its stages, the mind isn't aware of it anymore? So it doesn't put his reactions or sight into use?" Leo summed.

"That's the simplest way you can put it." Splinter agreed.

"I don't get it. How does part of the soul and mind work, while the other doesn't? And how do we turn it back on?" Casey asked.

"I'm afraid I don't have answers to this. I must meditate." Splinter stated.

"So what do we do for now?" Donnie question.

"Watch your brother. Note me if there are any changes, no matter how small." Splinter commanded.

"Hai."

"And do not lose faith. We can figure out this problem, and we can find a way to solve it. We are on the right track. In the end, every clue we fund, such as this one, will add up, and it will all make sense." Splinter assured, and then walked off.

But for once in my life, I had a feeling that Splinter might be wrong.

**_Mikey's POV_**

_Due to the loss of my senses, the nothingness around me seemed uneventful for a while. That is, until I felt a sinking feeling in my gut. It was the same feeling as before, except lacking the kindness I tried so hard to grasp on to._

_It was the invading feeling, like I wasn't alone. My memory racks itself, trying to find a past time I can relate this moment to. It was sort of like after I watched a scary movie, and went to bed, I would feel like something was in my closet. It was hiding, and unseen, but I still felt aware of its presence. In the end it would always be Raph, trying to scare me._

_And I try to count the seconds in my head the presence was here, if seconds actually counted as seconds here, and not hours, or no time at all. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...It left. Eight seconds of the feeling of invasion. Eight seconds of a new feeling. Eight seconds of what may be the last of something different in my senseless, painful, empty world of nothingness. I wish it had lasted just a little longer._

_My mind winders back to my previous thought, hen I remembered Raph trying to scare me. Raph, my brother. I winder how he and the rest of my family was doing. Well, I guess it depends how long I have been gone. Who knows, it could have been a few seconds, and they were moping over me, or a few years, and they were back to their usual self. Or maybe they never moped for me at long. Whatever it is, I hope they're at peace, and happy now. I mean, that was a strong reason for coming here, wasn't it._

_"Sometimes I wish you weren't my brother! For some peace and quiet..." I stop myself right there, I'm not going to let those words bother me. It was funny, how after all that has happened to me, those words still haunt me. You would think that would be the least of my troubles, but I couldn't help it. I lost all my senses, meaning I lost all distractions. And without distractions, you can't help but focus on one of the many things you try to keep your mind off._

_I need to focus my mind on something else, like questions. Yes, the may questions that will probably never be answered. Such as what Shredder is doing? What's his plan and why am I even here? How is my family is doing? What would I be able to sense if I had my feeling, sight, and hearing? And so many more stressing questions with untidy answers. But pondering then won't get me anywhere. At this point, nothing will get me anywhere. I am stuck here._

_Emptiness swirls through my gut, pain gone, at least for this moment. Those two emotions I am left with tend to switch a lot. I really do feel like nothing. I don't feel my body, I can't see or here, there is nothing to taste, and I don't feel any emotion. I actually don't exist at the moment. And that realization should make me curl up in a ball and cry once more, because how can you not have an realization such as that occur to you and not feel intense pain? But I don't. Because once more, I feel empty._

_I don't want to feel empty. But, I don't want to feel sad. So I think back to the past experience I had a few moments ago, the sense of invading. Something new. Something different._

_Something that does not belong in this nothingness._

**Oh gosh, guys, what a horrible, stupid way to end it! I totally lost track of time, and I realize it is eleven at night, and tomorrow is my sister's birthday, and then right after that we go on vacation! And I still have to pack, and make my little sis gift's which will take me a good two hours. So yeah, gotta go! Sorry for the sucky ending, once more! See ya! ;)**


End file.
